# Whan that aprill with his shoures rante **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 1, 2014, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072 "2014-04-01T03:52:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/81 "2014-04-03T16:38:21Z")
Jeebus, **flatlined** and **madrabbitwoman** – good luck to both of you! ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/82 "2014-04-03T17:58:04Z")
Ah spring. When the asshole neighbor’s thoughts to leaf blowers and my thoughts turn to how much I would love to see said headache inducing machine rammed up their rear end! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/83 "2014-04-03T18:05:31Z")
Not much p.o. intake for the past 48 hours. Certainly some outtake involved. What a way to jump-start my physical fitness program. > [@Cat Whisperer](#): > > There isn’t a parking lot in North America that doesn’t have multiple piles of cigarette butts that were dumped out of someone’s car _“A total of 463 volunteers cleaned 10.6 tons of litter and **52,934 cigarette butts** from Columbus freeway exit and entrance ramps during the 6th annual KickButtColumbus! cleanup on Saturday. The litter and cigarette butts were cleaned from 158 freeway ramps at 40 different locations.”_ [http://www.nbcnews.com/id/54829507/ns/local\_news-columbus\_oh/t/kickbuttcolumbus-volunteers-clean-tons-litter-cigarette-butts/#.Uz2jGaKt9js](http://www.nbcnews.com/id/54829507/ns/local_news-columbus_oh/t/kickbuttcolumbus-volunteers-clean-tons-litter-cigarette-butts/#.Uz2jGaKt9js) Two thoughts: a) smokers are pigs, and b) who the hell counts these things? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/84 "2014-04-03T18:27:10Z")
Worse than that, can you imagine being the volunteer? “We need you to not only pick up every single butt, we need you to count them.” WTF? Translation: No way that’s an accurate number. It’s a summary of guesses. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/85 "2014-04-03T18:34:17Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Worse than that, can you imagine being the volunteer? > > “We need you to not only pick up every single butt, we need you to count them.” > > WTF? > > Translation: No way that’s an accurate number. It’s a summary of guesses. They probably weighed one pound and counted how many in one pound, and then extrapolated. Anyway, that’s what I (an admitted analytical) would have done. eta: yes, smokers seem to be total pigs. Even people I like who are smokers don’t seem to get it. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/86 "2014-04-03T18:41:41Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Worse than that, can you imagine being the volunteer? > > “We need you to not only pick up every single butt, we need you to count them.” > > WTF? > > Translation: No way that’s an accurate number. It’s a summary of guesses. I am a smoker but I am an anal smoker. A butt is trash. It goes in the trash. No trash? It goes in a ziploc bag I keep in my purse for the purpose and gets trashed when I get home. However… …I only smoke outside. I don’t smoke in the house. So, I have a planter outside that I put my butts in. When it gets full I empty it into the trash can. Sometime in the winter, it blew over. Now the snow in the yard is melting and there are butts everywhere. But the grass is still far too tender to be walking on. I will be looking at them for at least another couple of weeks. Blech! ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/87 "2014-04-03T18:45:33Z")
More major rant: Dear daughter, I get it. Being a tween sucks. Tween girls are ceaselessly mean to each other. It upsets you. However, if you could do me a favour and not lash out at ME just because you are upset because little Jessica or Tiffany was a complete asshat, I would appreciate it. Honestly, I’m on YOUR team. Until you mouth off at me; then you’re going to find that I get mad. Your mother who will always love you but doesn’t like you right now. P.S. I am the only grownup she does this to, everyone says it’s because she trusts me enough to let her feelings show. I really wish she would trust me a little less. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/88 "2014-04-03T19:34:20Z")
Hey Boomer Esaison, how about YOU undergo unnecessary surgery so that your spouse can go play a baseball game, you stupid sexist pig? > **[Radio host rips MLB player for paternity leave, suggests C-section before...](https://www.today.com/moms/radio-host-rips-mlb-player-paternity-leave-suggests-c-section-2D79476676)** > > New York Mets second baseman Daniel Murphy missed the season's first two games to be with his wife during the birth of their first child earlier this week. Murphy's wife went into labor on opening day Monday, so he went to Florida to be with her for... ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/89 "2014-04-03T20:04:34Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > Wow, **flatlined** , never a dull moment for you is there? Hope it all works out for the best for everyone. Sorry about that poor doggie. I’m sad about the dead dog. I’m pretty sure that had she gotten regular check-ups, this wouldn’t have happened. Or maybe it would have, but we would have known that her time was almost up. I’m sad about the dog in the garage. He’s sad and confused and scared. He’s also big, unruly and 8 years old. He’s not going to do very well in the system. Mostly, I’m sad about Tony. He’s a good person. He really is a kind and gentle man, its his illness that causes him to do the things he does. He honestly loves his pets and I know he’s grieving. Hopefully, he’ll take his living dog back. He would never be cruel or mean to an animal so it could work out. > [@madrabbitwoman](#): > > poison me with medication = change medications = stop sleeping = manic episode at the doctors = back on medications. I FUCKING HATE MENTAL DISEASE TOO!!! Gives **madrabbitwoman** some supportive hugs. I’m so sorry. Its just not fair and its certainly not your fault. Mental disease needs to just fuck the hell off and DIAF. > [@pullin](#): > > Ranting about rules. I understand we need them, but fer cryin’ out loud can’t we have a Responsible Person (official title) at each business to invoke a common sense clause and override them? > > Case in point: My 24 yr-old son and his GF took a long awaited vacation last week. They flew to Rapid City on one of United’s commuter planes (70 seater) to see Mount Rushmore. They were denied a rental car at the airport because, according to Avis/Hertz, he’s too young. > Oh, and by the way, _he was the plane’s pilot_. Yep, he flew a $30-million airliner full of passengers there, but can’t be trusted with a Ford Fusion. I hope that you don’t mind that I laughed. Hurray for zero tolerance. > [@perfectparanoia](#): > > I am a smoker but I am an anal smoker. A butt is trash. It goes in the trash. No trash? It goes in a ziploc bag I keep in my purse for the purpose and gets trashed when I get home. > > \ I will be looking at them for at least another couple of weeks. > > Blech! I never thought about a using a bag, I usually just field stripped my butts and put them in my pocket. I was pretty anal about butts on the ground as well. Enough so that people who knew me would police up all the butts in the area to stop me from doing it and lecturing at the same time. I sure do understand how frustrating it is to be looking at butts in your own yard and not be able to do anything about it. ---
**Author:** ![ptr2void](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ptr2void/32/3406_2.png) [@ptr2void](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ptr2void)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/90 "2014-04-03T23:05:24Z")
What the **fuck** does it take to get someone into rehab **who wants to go to fucking rehab**??? Cocksuckers. Now she’s fucking drunk again, at least partly because her stupid motherfucking primary care physician told her “we need to get you in there as soon as possible because coming down from alcohol can cause seizures which can kill you”, so she’s afraid. And nothing but the runaround from all the rehab places we try. I am at my wit’s end. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/91 "2014-04-03T23:17:10Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Yeah, we get those in our DMV too. > > We have to stand in line to get the number, though. Went to the DMV. Got a number and application at the front counter. Sat down and filled out the app. Got called to the photo counter and had my picture taken. Sat back down and waited for my number to be called again. Went to a different counter in another room. Turned in my fee and app. Went back to the first room and waited to get called back to the photo counter. Went to the counter and picked up my new license. Shitty picture. My hair was somewhat mussed up and I didn’t have a mirror to comb it properly. Wait time listed on the website - 34 minutes. I was in and out in about that amount of time. It wasn’t so bad, except for the running around between counters. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/92 "2014-04-04T03:02:53Z")
Wanna know how to keep your stuff organized? **Don’t have so fucking much of it.** ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/93 "2014-04-04T03:38:44Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Shitty picture. My hair was somewhat mussed up and I didn’t have a mirror to comb it properly. That’s crappy of them. The one I go to, hidden in a downtown sublevel, has a mirror you can use while you wait (or as you approach the chair for the pic, but then you only get a few seconds before the lady behind the camera gets impatient). Last time I went for license renewal and had my picture done I was in and out in 8 minutes, including eye check, payment, and primping. And, no appointment or taking numbers. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/94 "2014-04-04T03:47:37Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Not much p.o. intake for the past 48 hours. Certainly some outtake involved.\ Agh - that takes me back to some self-inflicted food poisoning I had a couple of months ago (I saw that the damned hamburger wasn’t fully cooked - I will never be able to tell you why I ate it anyway). Drinking gatorade by the gallon and nibbling on soda crackers - mmm mmm good. > [@LavenderBlue](#): > > Hey Boomer Esaison, how about YOU undergo unnecessary surgery so that your spouse can go play a baseball game, you stupid sexist pig? > > [Radio host rips MLB player for paternity leave, suggests C-section before season ](http://www.today.com/moms/radio-host-rips-mlb-player-paternity-leave-suggests-c-section-2D79476676) His suggestion would be more out of line if so many women weren’t having C-sections at this point ([one in three now, apparently](http://harvardmagazine.com/2012/11/labor-interrupted)). > [@Rilchiam](#): > > Wanna know how to keep your stuff organized? **Don’t have so fucking much of it.** Word. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/95 "2014-04-04T04:04:11Z")
Damnit, I had the motherboard on my laptop replaced less than a month ago (yes, it was necessary, the board had short circuits) and now it’s not booting after it was running and then the video went out and I shut it down. \ Not entirely coherent. Laptop running. Screen went dark (it’s done this from time to time). No response to keyboard or mouse. Powered down. Left it for a few hours. Now it won’t start up again. I think it’s the video card, and probably for the same reason as the motherboard–surge damage from before I got the BackUPS. Does not make me happy, though. Now I have to find a new video card, soon, because I still need to do my local taxes which I forgot to do last Sunday when I did state and federal. Bugger. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/96 "2014-04-04T05:43:47Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Agh - that takes me back to some self-inflicted food poisoning I had a couple of months ago (I saw that the damned hamburger wasn’t fully cooked - I will never be able to tell you why I ate it anyway). Drinking gatorade by the gallon and nibbling on soda crackers - mmm mmm good. The last time I saw a doctor about the flu, he told me to keep up hydration and electrolytes. Gatorade? I asked. No, too much sugar, says he. Pedialyte? I asked. Nope, says he, also too much sugar. Go to the supermarket and pick up some fifteen-ounce cans of beef broth or chicken stock. I have to say, it may be an acquired taste, but it sure is effective. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/97 "2014-04-04T07:26:47Z")
So, chicken soup. See, Granny was right! ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/98 "2014-04-04T09:11:06Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Shitty picture. My hair was somewhat mussed up and I didn’t have a mirror to comb it properly. Wait time listed on the website - 34 minutes. I was in and out in about that amount of time. It wasn’t so bad, except for the running around between counters. I honestly believe that when someone applies for a job at the DMV, one of the interview questions is “Can you take a decent picture?” If the answer is “yes”, it’s an automatic disqualify. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/99 "2014-04-04T10:12:27Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > That’s crappy of them. The one I go to, hidden in a downtown sublevel, has a mirror you can use while you wait (or as you approach the chair for the pic, but then you only get a few seconds before the lady behind the camera gets impatient). Last time I went for license renewal and had my picture done I was in and out in 8 minutes, including eye check, payment, and primping. And, no appointment or taking numbers. The worse part is, I combed my hair and applied a little spray just before I left the house. Between driving with my window open (it’s Arizona) and walking from my car to the DMV was when my hair got mussed. I wish I had thought of checking the mirror in my sun visor and recombing my hair, but I didn’t. Later when I got home I took a nap. Then I went into the bathroom and my bed hair looked better than my DL picture. I wish they would let you just upload a selfie. They let you do everything else online. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072/100 "2014-04-04T12:08:03Z")
I hate going to cinemas. I avoid it as much as I can. There are many reasons that have been oft listed before, so I won’t go into them again, but I just find it to be a horrible experience in at least one, usually two-to-four ways, every time I knuckle down and do it. I went to see _Captain America 2_ yesterday, the first movie I’d seen in the cinema in over a year (last time was _The Hobbit 1_), and I hoped that going in the middle of the day in the middle of the week in a 2D showing would minimise the horribleness of it. And just when I thought things were going to turn out okay, a stupid nine year old kid with an obnoxious Dad came in and sat right behind me. In Australia we get assigned seats, and though the place was mostly empty and I could’ve moved, at first I don’t know who else is going to stumble in and end up wanting to sit where I covertly re-seated myself (it’s happened before) so I stayed. The kid slurped his soft drink throughout, rattling the ice every time, and chewing on his popcorn with his mouth open. He kept talking to his Dad throughout, asking stupid questions like “Who is that guy? What’s that for? Why did he do that?” along with laughing at some of the most violent bits. Meanwhile the Dad pre-empted some of the dialogue when he guessed what characters were going to say. I should’ve moved, I should have found a seat as far from those idiots as I could, but I stubbornly remained hoping they’d figure out they weren’t in their fucking living room. I hate going to cinemas. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whan-that-aprill-with-his-shoures-rante/685072.md?page=6)