# What a catch! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 19, 2008, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326 "2008-09-19T16:26:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/81 "2008-09-20T00:15:35Z")
> [@Mahna\_Mahna](#): > > _“If you can’t be a good example then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.”_ > -Jennifer Cruisie > **[Mistakes](https://despair.com/collections/demotivators/products/mistakes)** > > It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others. Not every life can be a success, just like not every vessel can be seaworthy. But there’s no shame in being one spectacular shipwreck. (Actually, there is. But we’re... ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/82 "2008-09-20T00:23:29Z")
Fortunately for him, he can wait, maybe even a long time, for the right woman. Settle back, homes. I hope you brought a snack, you’ll be here a while. ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/83 "2008-09-20T01:16:49Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > Fortunately for him, he can wait, maybe even a long time, for the right woman. > > Settle back, homes. I hope you brought a snack, you’ll be here a while. Fortunately most women won’t put up with that kind of crap anymore. I’ll bet in real life he just screams asshole without saying a word. I know the type. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/84 "2008-09-20T01:34:13Z")
> [@gravitycrash](#): > > This is the type of guy who screws it up for us somewhat sane dudes on dating sites. No, no no no no no. Fret not. He’s the guy who makes you somewhat sane dudes look GOOD. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/85 "2008-09-20T04:31:56Z")
Someone posted a link to [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvwN9Qy3SEs) in another thread and it instantly made me think of the guy in this ad. It is so totally awesome. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/86 "2008-09-20T05:03:08Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Yes. Yes, it is. Leastways, I could walk seven miles non-stop at average 3mph with no drinks or eats back when I was upwards of 260lb, and doing so (or a mite less) was part of the reason why I am no longer upwards of 260lb. > > No he isn’t. You should have been drinking water on those walks. Don’t encourage people to exercise without water. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/87 "2008-09-20T11:16:21Z")
I could not make sense of that bit about how the wife becomes a whore. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![dba\_Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c37758/32.png) [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/88 "2008-09-20T12:19:34Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Oops. I think I just disqualified myself from spare-wife consideration on the basis of being a potty-mouth. You’re not disqualified in my book **Green Bean** 🙂 (I think there should be Heart smilies) ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/89 "2008-09-20T12:50:12Z")
OK, of course my first reaction was disgust and derision. But I did stop and ask myself, “Self, as a fat, large breasted, 35 year old, educated, self-respecting, atheistic woman who has career plans, perhaps you’re just personally offended? You too have certain arbitrary parameters for romantic attraction, and at least the guy is being up front about his. Or maybe his preferences are just so opposite of your own that it seems wrong, but if you had more perspective you’d see he’s just part of the wonderful variety of human behavior.” But you know what? As others have said, I can support this guy’s right to live his life in this manner, while also making fun and criticizing. And the thing that really bothers me, when you get down to it, is that this personal ad is in essence an invitation to abuse. For someone to be so controlling at a distance, with a theoretical mate, indicates to me that he’d be worse in person with an actual “wife.” And that level of control (controlling someone’s bathroom breaks and water intake?!) is generally acknowledged as abuse. Even when someone is “consenting” to it, abuse is wrong, and we have a right to be disgusted by it. And when someone is actively soliciting a victim of his crazy behavior, we have a right to share our howls of derisive laughter, hoping that he’ll sit forever alone, hopefully awaiting an “acceptable” reply. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/90 "2008-09-20T13:08:09Z")
Damn, missed the edit window. But listening to Dimitri’s voicemail linked above, I realized that the other problem is that listing so many requirements in such detail from the outset is a violation of social norms. In our culture, the way people find mates is generally to have an initial attraction, chat with the person a bit and determine that you may be compatible, have some dates where you get to know each other more and see if there are any problems that put the kibosh on the deal, or if you really do seem simpatico. Now, personal ads make things a bit different, but I submit that they serve as a substitute for that initial meeting - you may have to explicitly list some physical traits that work for you or don’t, and maybe some big issues (religion, wanting kids) that would be deal breakers, since you’re not observing the person directly. But sifting through the more detailed issues should be left until personal interaction begins, just as with regular dating. Setting out a one-sided and ridiculously detailed requirement scorecard at the very beginning is just rude and anti-social. Perhaps because it gives the impression that you are a fantastic catch with a line of applicants around the block, and you have to interview carefully - it dismisses the wants and needs of the potential mate and implies they couldn’t possibly want to vet \*you \*in any way. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/91 "2008-09-20T13:14:01Z")
> [@Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](#): > > Okay. > > Are you worried that he’ll lure in some helpless young lass who doesn’t yet know how to read, or what? > > This guy is obviously a little…off when it comes to his relationships. According to you or me, anyways. I’m sure there’s a few fundamental Christians who might agree. Most certainly I find his viewpoints ridiculous. However, I’m okay with people engaging in consensual acts that I might find objectionable. > > Because they’re, you know, his personal beliefs, and my personal beliefs. And projecting the latter onto the former would make me a gigantic douchebag, and a hypocrite besides. This guy is you, isn’t he. Suddenly it all makes sense. Of course, we weren’t talking about fundamentalist Christians as a whole, just this one guy–who may or may not accept God’s authority (I picture this guy with a notebook at the pearly gates, wanting a word with the Lord. YMMV) By all means, stand up for this poor oppressed “man” and his right to a Stepford wife and no earthly authority. We’re so mean to want to discuss social norms and mores here. This is America–where controlling, misogynist, religious nuts can find a happy home. Does my bleeding soft heart good. :rolleyes: (actually, given the length and the rambling of it all, I plump for mental illness, in which case he has a smidge of my compassion, but he’s still a jerk. Yes, you can be both!) ---
**Author:** ![Capcha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Capcha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capcha)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/92 "2008-09-20T14:44:27Z")
I’m just curious about his first marriage… ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/93 "2008-09-20T14:53:21Z")
> [@anya\_marie](#): > > I could not make sense of that bit about how the wife becomes a whore. > > :dubious: %…i chime in with haven’t you people learned of closing the !@#%% door? % … sorry it fit the meter 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/94 "2008-09-20T15:38:08Z")
> [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](#): > > Is she expected to respectfully and humbly take a hike (and not come back)? Yes, with no food or water, and only one potty break. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/95 "2008-09-20T17:08:15Z")
> [@Capcha](#): > > I’m just curious about his first marriage… Same here. It’s clear to me that Mr. Wonderful is - and I’m being charitable here - a batshit loonball. The one I REALLY want to hear from is his ex-wife. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/96 "2008-09-20T17:26:51Z")
I’ve never heard of being iggied, but now I most sincerely say that I never want to be anything else in reference to this man and others who find his er, position sympathetic. The man be whack, yo. ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/97 "2008-09-20T17:48:54Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Thanks, **Telperien**. Lemme try: divorcé > > Hey-it works! Thanks a bunch!!! 😃 Here’s a site with a bunch more codes: [http://tlt.its.psu.edu/suggestions/international/accents/codealt.html](http://tlt.its.psu.edu/suggestions/international/accents/codealt.html) ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/98 "2008-09-20T17:56:44Z")
> [@Mahna\_Mahna](#): > > The length of the walk and the speed he expects are not unreasonable - I think that most people in reasonable physical condition could manage that without a problem. > > However, expecting someone to do that walk without drinking? That’s ridiculous - that’s guaranteed dehydration, especially if it’s a hot day. > > On average, I drink a 12 oz bottle of water for every 2.5 miles when walking at that kind of clip. When I walked 60km over a weekend earlier this month (that’s 38 miles, for you 'Muricans), I think I must have downed a couple of gallons over the course of two days, and I still ended up with some signs of dehydration. See, he’s not saying you must do this regularly, just that you be capable of it. And you need to be capable of it to complete one of his tests, which is dumping you out in the middle of the Mojave desert and making you walk out to civilization. If you survive, you are eligible for further consideration. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/99 "2008-09-20T22:54:34Z")
I especially like his demanding of “proof pics” long before any trust or any relationship has been established. Yeah, that’ll work… But ladies, remember, he admits to not being perfect! Too bad you have to be. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2008, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326/100 "2008-09-21T00:42:04Z")
Wow. Just, wow. I love all the 'breach of contract" stuff. And the total misreading of everything about sexual submission being ‘husband gets completely willing hot sex wheneverz he wantses it’. And the specifics about bra size. And, well, everything. Does anyone else remember the fundy spanking blog thing a year or so ago? I wonder if this guy is familiar with it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-catch/464326.md?page=6)