# What a fucking gross commercial! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 22, 2002, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237 "2002-05-22T03:36:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/41 "2002-05-23T19:48:06Z")
Apologies if this turns into a double post. The gargling one is pretty bad, I keep thinking, “Damn, that milk must be getting awful warm right about now…” :barf smilie: Anyway, for your reading pleasure, **Zette** , following is the most disturbing description of milk I have ever heard, courtesy of the [Bad Candy](http://www.bad-candy.com) Guys, proceed at your own risk: > [@](#): > > …Ben pointed out that humans are the only mammals on the planet that drink another species’ breast milk. When you think about it that way, milk seems kind of creepy, doesn’t it? It’s really just a mildly viscid, pasty solution that was mechanically pumped out of a gassy bovine’s flaccid booby. Remember the stuff you poured on your Cheerios this morning? It came from a cow’s tit. That white mustache on Conan O’Brian’s face? Cow tit. That tall, cool, frothy glass of milk you drank to wash down your dinner of greasy pork products? Big, brown wrinkly cow tit. Cow tit, cow tit, cow tit. Imagine putting your lips up to that stinky, puckered nipple, sucking and kneading the teat, gulping the sperm-like, nutrient-rich life water in sticky, congealed lumps. Unless you happen to enjoy that sort of thing, it’s a pretty disgusting concept. ---
**Author:** ![airdisc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19adc/32.png) [@airdisc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/airdisc)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2002, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/42 "2002-05-23T19:50:14Z")
> [@](#): > > It always brings back memories of when I was 10 years old and I snuck a drink from the milk carton. What I didn’t realize until it was too late was that my dad was using the carton to store a duck he had shot. I got a mouthful of raw duck juice/blood. AFLAC! ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/43 "2002-05-24T04:22:58Z")
Zette, I know just how you feel. I feel the exact same way about the Volkswagen one with the guy licking the car door handle. Just imagine all the people who must’ve touched that door handle and what sort of disgusting things they’ve been doing with their hands since they last washed them. Maybe the last guy to open that door had just finished rubbing jock itch medicine all over his crotch. NASTY!!! There’s something distrubing-looking about the guy too, like the casting company said “Find me someone who looks like Jerry Seinfeld, but with absolutely no charisma. If he looks like his parents were brother and sister – even better! It sells the idea that he’d be stupid enough to lick a car door handle.” **Tengu** , Mike’s, Smirnoff Ice, Bacardi Silver, Hooper’s Hooch, etc. are all malt liquor drinks. Not a drop of vodka/rum/whiskey in them. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/44 "2002-05-24T05:39:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lisa Ann \* > \*\* > > Hard Iced Tea is available? What exactly makes it hard? \*\* What’s the matter with you people? How often do you get handed a straight line like this? **bdgr** , you’re the only one that even tried to go anywhere with it. I salute you. The rest of you - I’m just disappointed. I had come to expect better of this crowd. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/45 "2002-05-24T06:07:40Z")
_sigh_ Okay **featherlou** , the iced tea was just happy to see you… Yay for lame dick jokes! ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/46 "2002-05-24T06:42:44Z")
_Originally posted by nineiron_ [q]The reason the Sears ad is just awful is because this woman is sitting right there knowing that her hubby is about to drink putrid rotten milk AND SHE DOESN’T WARN OR STOP HIM! Couldn’t her point of “The fridge is broken” be just as effective if she said, “Don’t drink the milk! It’s spoiled!”[/q] What you don’t understand **nineiron** is that their fridge has been dying for a long time, but their finances wouldn’t let them replace it. The woman, by using coupons, going without pedicures and giving up **Mike’s Hard Lemonade** had been saving up for a new one as a surprise for her husband. Because their fridge was hanging in there, she had enough time to save enough money to get a high-end, super energy efficient, top of the line model. Just the night before last she had placed an order for a brand new sage green (the new avocado) refridgerator and then told her husband what she had done. But, instead of being happy, he took her secretiveness as a sign that she didn’t trust him–because he had once had a problem with lottery tickets–spent every spare dime on them. They had a terrible fight with the wife ending up apologizing to him for not trusting him (because it was in the back of her mind that he’s blow the money on a chance for $1000 bucks a week for life). As a show of her faith in her husband’s ability to avoid temptation, she had given him the money so he could pick up the fridge the next night after work. Instead, he blew it on lottery tickets (and **Mike’s Hard Lemonade** ). **And that’s why she didn’t tell him the fridge was broken.** ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7feea3/32.png) [@The\_Ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ryan)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/47 "2002-05-24T07:23:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Max \* > \*\*Now, if I could only get rid of the Mazda Zoom-Zoom kid, my life would be much better! \*\* What?!? He’s even more a victim than we are. We just have to watch the commercial. He had to actually be in it. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/48 "2002-05-24T17:30:49Z")
Well, **Kallessa** , that makes a lot more sense now. I thought this commercial was just the latest in the “Idiot Man-Child” series, but I see it has deeper-reaching meaning than that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/49 "2002-05-24T17:51:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by voguevixen \* > **\There’s something distrubing-looking about the guy too, like the casting company said "Find me someone who looks like Jerry Seinfeld, but with absolutely no charisma. If he looks like his parents were brother and sister – even better! \** Wouldn’t that **be** Jerry Seinfeld? I can’t think of anyone with less charisma off the top of my head. Of course, YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![NightRabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@NightRabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NightRabbit)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/50 "2002-05-24T19:59:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Racer1 \* > \*\*I dunno if you get these commercials in America, but the Pampers nappy/diaper ads mildly annoy me. For fucks sake, I don’t want to see a baby’s arse waved about the screen while I’m eating! I don’t care how absorbent they are, or how dry the babies backside been kept! > > _mutter_ \*\* Oh god! **Racer1** , you just reminded me of this diaper commercial that’s currently running. I don’t remember what brand it is, but the first few shots show the baby dancing in front of a maroon, star-covered background. Towards the end, they zoom up on the baby’s smiling face, and the crotch of his diaper (at the very bottom of the screen) is brown and dirty! It looks like he messed his diaper during the dancing and no one noticed! Funny as hell. ---
**Author:** ![Robb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a183cd/32.png) [@Robb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robb)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/51 "2002-05-24T21:12:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Yay for lame dick jokes! No, no no. Lame dick jokes involve Viagra. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/52 "2002-05-24T21:19:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diane \* > \*\*Gawd, that commercial makes me heave also. > > It always brings back memories of when I was 10 years old and I snuck a drink from the milk carton. What I didn’t realize until it was too late was that my dad was using the carton to store a duck he had shot. I got a mouthful of raw duck juice/blood. \*\* To add to this, I’d like to make this set of humble requests: 1.) If you must dip snuff or chew tobacco, please don’t use a soda can as a spittoon. 2.) If you must use a soda can as a spitton, please don’t use a coke can identical to the one I’m drinking out of. 3.) If you must use a coke can as a spittoon, _please_ don’t set it down near _my_ can. And a request to myself: 1.) _Please_ pay closer attention next time you are sitting with your brother and drinking a soda while he is indulging in his nasty habit. Ah, memories. - Tamerlane ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2002, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/53 "2002-05-29T12:43:55Z")
> [@](#): > > Imagine putting your lips up to that stinky, puckered nipple, sucking and kneading the teat, gulping the sperm-like, nutrient-rich life water in sticky, congealed lumps. It’s posts like this that make me almost want to stop ego-surfing the boards. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2002, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/54 "2002-05-29T15:06:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tengu \* > \*\* > > Vodka, not Malt Liquor (at least around here). > > I’ve never seen the Iced Tea…just Lemonade, some Lemonade/berry combo I can’t remember, and Orange. > > As to the OP, I’ve never seen the ad, but it sounds pretty damn funny. If icky. \*\* Nope, read your labels. None of the new “malternative” drinks have the liquor that is so prominently displayed on the label ( i.e Skyy blue, Smirnoff Ice, Captain Morgan Gold, etc.). It’s beer with the beer flavor removed and other crap put in. Another reason wine coolers are now malt beverages is that in many states, (Texas, for example) it is easier to get a permit for selling beer than wine and liquor. “Malternatives” are classified as beer. ---
**Author:** ![yarwitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/da6949/32.png) [@yarwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yarwitz)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2002, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/55 "2002-05-29T15:15:38Z")
zette, that is my least favorite commercial atm. whenever it comes on i quickly plug my ears and close my eyes. The idea of curdled milk (even just thinking about it) makes me want to spew my cookies. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2002, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/56 "2002-05-29T17:32:03Z")
\*\*Mike’s Hard Ice T \*\* with the demon child head out of the neck commerical is the most icky commerical I have ever seen. I cannot bear to watch it and will not allow my kids to watch it. When I saw it ( nearly running screaming meemee from the room) I decided then and there to start my boycot of the product. Mind you, I’ve never drank the stuff, but now I will never drink it. Watch me bring those souless bastards to their knees. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2002, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/57 "2002-05-29T17:39:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FallenAngel \* > \*\* > > Wouldn’t that **be** Jerry Seinfeld? I can’t think of anyone with less charisma off the top of my head. Of course, YMMV. \*\* Donald Trump immediately came to mind. ---
**Author:** ![Willow\_fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/45deac/32.png) [@Willow\_fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Willow_fire)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2002, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/58 "2002-05-30T01:44:19Z")
Here in Northern Indiana we have a VERY disturbing commercial… I starts with with the close up of a young woman’s face (probley 16-18 years old) she appears to be in the heat of passion, (moning sweating and head moving from side to side, I think she even bites her lip once) the cam. slowly pans out and you see she is in labor …voice over says…if she hadn’t gotten into this possition 9 months ago she wouldn’t be there now…fade to planed parenthood logo… SICK That is one commercial that really bugs me…I am not a prude in ANY way but geeezzzeee folks can we get a little more direct? I would much rather see the Sears commercial anyday (even though I agree its gross!) ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2002, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237/59 "2002-05-30T18:11:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scout1222 \* > > I thought it was totally gross. But then, I never drink milk that’s a day past the date on the carton… That’s the last day they can sell it, not the last day you can drink it. The smell test is the most effective way to tell. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-fucking-gross-commercial/110237.md?page=2)