# "What a lovely necklace!" Do you compliment strangers? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 16, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102 "2012-05-16T15:09:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/1 "2012-05-16T15:09:41Z")
On the subway last night I said to a woman, “I \*love \*your ring,” as I was leaving the car, and she brightened up like I had just handed her $100. I would \*never \*comment on someone’s personal appearance, but I do sometimes remark on shoes, a skirt, a ring, etc., and invariably, the recipient smiles in surprise and says, “oh, \*thank \*you!” Mind you, I only do this honestly, and I have to bite my tongue not to add, “that _blouse_, however, needs to be _burned_.” ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/2 "2012-05-16T15:24:07Z")
If there’s anything I recognize on the Dope, it’s a thread title by Eve. I didn’t even have to read the name to know it was by you. But then, I think you’ve mentioned a few times that you do this. At least this was a better then “Cooking with Poo” as I was about to eat breakfast or the last thing I had seen from you which was a Pink Flamingos reference. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/3 "2012-05-16T15:29:17Z")
Yes. It’s been one of my resolutions for the last couple of years - if I see something I like about someone, I will compliment them, even if I am feeling cranky or whatever. It puts them in a good mood, and then puts me in a good mood. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/4 "2012-05-16T15:36:57Z")
Yes I do but I run things through my head first and think about how it might be interpreted before I say anything. I would have no problem saying, “I love that purse” or something like that but anything regarding clothing, hair cut or color, behavior of any kind, etc. must run through a filter first. Is this going to potentially sound sarcastic? Is this something that could be taken more than one way? Is this something I would be comfortable being complimented on by someone else? I’ve been on the receiving end of enough :dubious: compliments that I try very hard not to say something unless it can only be construed as positive. ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/5 "2012-05-16T15:39:19Z")
I do this. Mostly got into the habit because I have some front-of-house experience (both work and volunteering) and found such compliments (when honestly given) made people smile and were a good way to make conversation when a system (computer or filing) was being slow. Plus, I get a kick out of the affectionate look older couples share when the complimented piece is something the husband bought the wife. Feels like my one compliment creates a domino-effect of good feelings. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/6 "2012-05-16T15:44:06Z")
Some of my best moments are spent on strangers! I tend to get chatted up on occassion by elderly ladies, we share quips and smile a little bit. Last night in the mega grocery store pushing our carts up and down the aisles was a young woman in Riding/jockey gear, small spurs on her boots.red thick hair, with a very determined walk, I believe she was almost trotting. 😉 We had a slight verbal exvhange, she was friendly and courteous. I’d move on ahead of her on the corners, but she’d catch right up in the straightaways. That stride thought she’d roll me over. 😉 ahhhh…what could I compliment? guys you would have been smitten, I was smitten… ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/7 "2012-05-16T15:50:05Z")
Isn’t that how carjacking evolved? ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/8 "2012-05-16T15:50:34Z")
I envy people who are able to do this. I _think_ compliments about people and/or their possessions, but I’m unable to get up the nerve to express them. Too bad, because I think it generally makes people feel good to hear them. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/9 "2012-05-16T15:51:32Z")
I, of course, enjoy receiving compliments myself. I have a vintage handbag, c. 1960, round and lipstick-red. I know it is widely admired, as wherever I go, I notice people pointing to me and saying, “\*look \*at that old bag!” ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/10 "2012-05-16T15:55:31Z")
I do. But I do so in passing, or I wait untill I leave. Or the other person leaves. I find it awkward to stay too long near a person once I complimented them. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/11 "2012-05-16T15:57:31Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > I, of course, enjoy receiving compliments myself. I have a vintage handbag, c. 1960, round and lipstick-red. I know it is widely admired, as wherever I go, I notice people pointing to me and saying, “\*look \*at that old bag!” Reminds me or a running joke from Arrested Development. Michael: Get rid of the Seaward. (Referring to a boat called “The Seaward”) Lucille: I’ll leave when I’m good and ready. ---
**Author:** ![MostlyClueless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MostlyClueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyClueless)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/12 "2012-05-16T15:59:08Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > I do. But I do so in passing, or I wait untill I leave. Or the other person leaves. I find it awkward to stay too long near a person once I complimented them. This. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/13 "2012-05-16T15:59:28Z")
I guess “nice ass” is not suitable, eh? ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/14 "2012-05-16T16:22:20Z")
All the time. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/15 "2012-05-16T16:23:24Z")
\*\*Leaffan \*\*- Only at a donkey show… ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/16 "2012-05-16T16:38:53Z")
I’ll compliment any stranger on their choice of t-shirt, if it’s a good one. Last night I saw someone wearing this amazing Mitch Hedberg shirt (it had[this design](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2202/2131451296_d07ce0d1a0.jpg) on the front). First time I’d ever seen one in “the wild.” He seemed happy to have recognition/validation of his good taste. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/17 "2012-05-16T16:43:09Z")
I like to compliment people on something specific when I can. Just a week ago, I told a lady at the grocery store that I loved her shirt, and she cracked up laughing. It said, “We never really grow up; we just learn how to behave in public.” Still makes me giggle! ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/18 "2012-05-16T16:53:31Z")
> [@moi](#): > > …Plus, I get a kick out of the affectionate look older couples share when the complimented piece is something the husband bought the wife. Feels like my one compliment creates a domino-effect of good feelings. This put a really sappy smile on my face. _gently reaches up to touch earrings bought by **Other Shoe** , which draw compliments all the time_ Hey waitaminnit .. we’re not old, dammit. :dubious: > [@Sudden\_Kestrel](#): > > I envy people who are able to do this. I _think_ compliments about people and/or their possessions, but I’m unable to get up the nerve to express them. Too bad, because I think it generally makes people feel good to hear them. Awww. ☹ Try it. Maybe you’ve walked right past _MEEEE_ and didn’t say anything about that skirt I thought was so kick-ass but nobody said a word so I never wore it again … Seriously, though. I’ve never given a quick passing compliment (“that’s a beautiful necklace” “love those shoes!” etc.) and _not_ had the interaction go positively. > [@Bob Ducca](#): > > I’ll compliment any stranger on their choice of t-shirt, if it’s a good one. > > Last night I saw someone wearing this amazing Mitch Hedberg shirt (it had[this design](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2202/2131451296_d07ce0d1a0.jpg) on the front). First time I’d ever seen one in “the wild.” He seemed happy to have recognition/validation of his good taste. That’s awesome. I would SO have said something, or at least given the ol’ “smile/nod” acknowlegement. That was one of my favorite jokes of his. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/19 "2012-05-16T17:35:31Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > Yes I do but I run things through my head first and think about how it might be interpreted before I say anything. I would have no problem saying, “I love that purse” or something like that but anything regarding clothing, hair cut or color, behavior of any kind, etc. must run through a filter first. I do the opposite. I compliment the instant I notice the interesting thing. That way it’s truly genuine. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/20 "2012-05-16T17:42:10Z")
I very rarely compliment strangers… it would be perceived as creepy. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102.md?page=2)