# "What a lovely necklace!" Do you compliment strangers? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 16, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102 "2012-05-16T15:09:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/21 "2012-05-16T18:30:56Z")
Are you saying that if a stranger complimented you, then YOU would perceive it as creepy? Cuz that’s a helluva lot of projection. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/22 "2012-05-16T18:39:26Z")
I don’t do it often, but if something strikes me, I say it. The other day I sat down on the subway next to a woman in a beautiful purple caftan, so I said, “What a lovely color of purple!” She beamed. A few months ago, I was crossing a street toward a woman who was directing traffic and I smiled at her and she told me what a great smile I had. It was a nice exchange and it was memorable enough that I still remember it. I, generally, probably wouldn’t comment on someone’s smile since it might feel personal, but if they are wearing something pretty or notable, I will. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/23 "2012-05-16T18:48:13Z")
I compliment strangers all the time. I figure if I can brighten someone’s day I’ll do it because I enjoy having my day brightened too. Once while walking my dog downtown around Christmas time I complimented a woman on her earrings. She said “Thank you! My daughter bought them for me at Ardene…you know what? Here, you have them. Merry Christmas.” and this woman took out her earrings and handed them to me! ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/24 "2012-05-16T19:12:04Z")
I think only women can get away with this. If I (male) tried to compliment a woman, she’d think I was trying to pick her up. If I tried to compliment another male, well guess what he would think? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/25 "2012-05-16T19:16:56Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#): > > Once while walking my dog downtown around Christmas time I complimented a woman on her earrings. She said “Thank you! My daughter bought them for me at Ardene…you know what? Here, you have them. Merry Christmas.” and this woman took out her earrings and handed them to me! OK, \*that \*raises more questions than we will ever have answered about this woman’s relationship with her daughter . . . ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/26 "2012-05-16T19:19:28Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I think only women can get away with this. If I (male) tried to compliment a woman, she’d think I was trying to pick her up. If I tried to compliment another male, well guess what he would think? Well, you can compliment a guy, just not on his appearance. Like there was a visitor here with a fully-restored 1960s era Cadillac and I complimented him on the cool car. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/27 "2012-05-16T19:23:15Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Well, you can compliment a guy, just not on his appearance. Like there was a visitor here with a fully-restored 1960s era Cadillac and I complimented him on the cool car. Exactly. That’s a little less uncomfortable than “Say, Bob. Nice sweater!” ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/28 "2012-05-16T19:27:27Z")
All the time. But I’m female. And I’m complementing women…cute shoes…great haircut. I love your sweater. I do think that opposite gender compliments are much more likely to come off as creepy…and I don’t compliment strange men…but I’ll compliment male coworkers with “I like that shirt”. And I like the generic “I love that color” compliment. Strangely, the complement I have given strange men is “nice art”. I’m not a fan of tattoos at all, but if something has been executed well, I can appreciate it. And most of the guys I complement take one look at soccer mom middle aged and greying me and realize that I’m not hitting on them, just giving a random compliment. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/29 "2012-05-16T20:11:11Z")
My last job was within an office full of nothing but women. Women who, for the most part, dressed to the nines; 6-inch heels were not uncommon. On the rare occasion _I_ got out of my combat boots and into some nicer clothing, I almost always was complimented; even had a couple pair of shoes/boots that the lovely gazelles envied!! It always felt good. And so I loosened up myself and am now quite blabby to people if I like something they’re wearing, no matter who they are. It’s nice 🙂 To compliment men, you have to be a little more generic. “Hey, Sam, that sweater looks really good on you!” Not “Hey Sam, you are lookin’ _good_ in that sweater, mmm-hmmm!” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/30 "2012-05-16T20:16:36Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Exactly. That’s a little less uncomfortable than “Say, Bob. Nice sweater!” I get complimented on my neckties all the time, and mostly by a guy. I have some pretty fuckin’ awesome neckties. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/31 "2012-05-16T20:36:17Z")
It would be quite rare for me to compliment a true stranger. I’ll compliment friends and co-workers though (even if I don’t know them well). ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/32 "2012-05-16T21:05:50Z")
When I’m working the cash register at my store, I will compliment jewelry that I like the look of. (I keep a mental register of possible designs for future gifts for my wife, a jewelryholic.) Women seem to universally like this, with reaction ranging from a simple thanks, to a long story of how and why they got it. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/33 "2012-05-16T21:33:53Z")
I love paying compliments, and do it all the time. I am surprised (and pleased) that not one person has come in to say “I hate getting compliments from strangers! Wah!,” as that usually happens in these threads. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/34 "2012-05-16T21:51:44Z")
Went to a friend’s college commencement over the weekend. Walking hand in hand with my lovely bride, there was another couple keeping step with us. We are white, they were black. She had the most perfect color of blonde hair (in a fetching short cut) that I HAD to compliment her. My wife is smiling, the lady is beaming, her man looks confused at first, then smiles, too. My wife says later, “One of these days, some guy is gonna beat the crap out of you” with a wink, because she knows no one can take me, being the macho god of studly man that I am. . ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/35 "2012-05-16T21:52:25Z")
I rarely compliment strangers on just a nice piece of clothing. The item in question would need to be really bad ass before I actually say something. ---
**Author:** ![akwally1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akwally1/32/3220_2.png) [@akwally1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akwally1)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/36 "2012-05-16T21:53:12Z")
I do try to compliment people, both men and women, when I notice something about them, but, as a 43 year old man, I have to be pretty careful about who I compliment, especially if I’m not with my wife. I complimented a young woman (20-ish probably) in a mall once on her earrings (Very cool pyramid-y looking, kind of like [these](http://img2-ec.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.263959602.jpg)) when I was alone and you would have sworn I tried to molest her. She actually almost ran away and kept looking over her shoulder as she went. It really kind of sucks sometimes how much we’ve acclimated people to be afraid of strangers. I get it, but sometimes it’s annoying. Mark ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/37 "2012-05-16T22:15:15Z")
I’ll pop out a compliment if it leaps sharp to mind on first observing the nice thing. I’ve complimented a bank teller and (another occasion) a fellow bank customer on their hairdos – the teller because it was a fabulous braid job instead of her usual processed hair, and the customer because she had a tight tight gold-dusted cut. She told me she did in fact get her hair dyed that awesome shade when she cot it buzzed back to skull-hugging (and what a wonderfully shaped skull she had, oh yeh), and the dusted effect developed as it grew out. It was fabulous! Hmmmmmmm… I’m white; both of those women were black; both of them basked in the compliments. Guess I didn’t come across as patronizing, probably because they were sincere blurts. I also complimented a mother of a young child on his lovely manners during a subway ride, with appreciation for how hard she must work at it. Her tired face lit up. Doggone it, but it feels good to make someone’s day like that. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/38 "2012-05-16T23:31:04Z")
Mostly when I’m in the mood to talk to new people. Such a compliment is a good conversational opener. Otherwise I’m unlikely to notice. I people-watch, but it’s usually their behaviors I’m focussing on. Unless they are hot–but then I keep quiet unless I’d actualy be interested in dating. Most women seem to pick up quickly if you find them attractive, and then they tend to interpret the compliment as me hitting on them. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/39 "2012-05-16T23:36:32Z")
I do this a lot, but yes, mostly with women. I feel like if I complement a man, it will make him think I’m available or something, and I don’t want to create confusion or an awkward situation. Everybody likes to be told they look good and/or have good taste. Hard to go wrong with complements. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/40 "2012-05-17T10:47:49Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > I, of course, enjoy receiving compliments myself. I have a vintage handbag, c. 1960, round and lipstick-red. I know it is widely admired, as wherever I go, I notice people pointing to me and saying, “\*look \*at that old bag!” old handbags! Turned old on my birthday two weeks ago,went shopping by myself for some retail therapy and found a vintage Corde’ clutch with a lucite pull in the “flea market”. $10! 🆒 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102.md?page=3)