# "What a lovely necklace!" Do you compliment strangers? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 16, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102 "2012-05-16T15:09:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/41 "2012-05-17T11:59:06Z")
Sure, but handbags turn to glad rags, and you know how that goes. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/42 "2012-05-17T12:21:46Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Went to a friend’s college commencement over the weekend. Walking hand in hand with my lovely bride, there was another couple keeping step with us. We are white, they were black. She had the most perfect color of blonde hair (in a fetching short cut) that I HAD to compliment her. My wife is smiling, the lady is beaming, her man looks confused at first, then smiles, too. That reminds me of a compliment I once got from a dude who was out with a woman I assume was his girlfriend or his wife. It threw me for a moment but the girl was smiling at me and she looked sincere enough. It did make my day. I wouldn’t compliment a stranger in Korea but I’ve done it in the US. Usually other women. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/43 "2012-05-17T14:24:00Z")
One day I was on the bus and there was family sitting near me. They looked “poor” (I’d seen them around before) and it was winter (snow & cold out) and the parents were wearing light jackets and shoes but the kids were bundled up in winter clothes. The kids were SO WELL BEHAVED and when I got off the bus I complimented the mom on how well behaved her kids were - and I generally don’t like kids, so that’s a huge compliment coming from me. The mom looked at me like I was nuts but the one little girl’s face lit right up and you could tell she was so happy to get that compliment. I like complimenting parents about their well-behaved children, you can tell it makes their day. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/44 "2012-05-17T20:33:48Z")
All the time. My standard opening is “I really want your…”(shoes, ring, whatever). When the person says “Thank you,” I say “I would so wear that.” ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/45 "2012-05-17T20:42:47Z")
I am very prone to making such comments, but as others have pointed out, it requires being choosy to avoid coming off as Creepy Guy, so I probably don’t say 90% of the sorts of compliments that occur to me when it comes to strangers. However, I’ve done OK in some cases. I once complimented a woman I saw every day on the train/subway on her hair color because she changed it weekly in these neat, neon colors. I also complimented a woman on my work shuttle bus once because she had a truly beaming, lovely smile. Both ladies are now friends/lunch buddies. ---
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/46 "2012-05-19T13:03:56Z")
Eve: I do this, too, and frankly, I love it when someone compliments something I’m wearing. UT~ ---
**Author:** ![Risha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Risha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Risha)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/47 "2012-05-19T18:22:29Z")
I do this fairly frequently, generally very spontaneously without thinking about it when something catches my eye. I started dying my hair hot pink last September, and now I seldom go out in public without receiving at least one random compliment on it. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2012, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/48 "2012-05-20T01:39:09Z")
I was in a store line behind a guy I didn’t know but recognized because I often saw him in the morning waiting with his kids for the school bus, and a couple of times I’d seen him eating out with the kids at a nearby restaurant. I introduced myself and told him that I recognized him because I’d seen him with his kids and always thought what a great dad he was. I don’t think I’ve ever said anything that made someone so happy. ---
**Author:** ![limegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/82dd89/32.png) [@limegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/limegreen)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2012, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/49 "2012-05-20T03:08:36Z")
I compliment women’s jewelry a lot if it is interesting, and then say I design jewelry myself, and will often pick one facet to comment one: the ear wire, the stones, etc. often they perk up and will discuss, Oh, I like X but Y seems a bit stiff, which gives me ideas for my own work. ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2012, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/50 "2012-05-20T05:46:46Z")
That duct tape gag really sets off your eyes. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2012, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/51 "2012-05-20T06:12:48Z")
I do it all the time. Most people don’t seem to mind. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2012, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/52 "2012-05-20T06:21:28Z")
😉 > [@Eve](#): > > I, of course, enjoy receiving compliments myself. I have a vintage handbag, c. 1960, round and lipstick-red. I know it is widely admired, as wherever I go, I notice people pointing to me and saying, “\*look \*at that old bag!” .😉 ---
**Author:** ![Arabella\_Flynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@Arabella\_Flynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arabella_Flynn)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/53 "2012-05-22T01:08:36Z")
I do, all the time. I’m a young female, so socially speaking, I can probably get away with it more easily than a lot of other people can – young women are seen as less threatening, and more likely to be interested in fashion, hence genuinely interested in the clothing they’re commenting on. I’ve found the trick to not letting people get awkward about it is to do it as I’m leaving, usually getting off the train. I’ll just say “Excuse me, this is my stop, but I had to tell you those are fantastic boots/I love that necklace/that’s a wonderful coat,” and then move on. Nobody’s freaked out on me yet. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/54 "2012-05-22T06:29:17Z")
Yes, I do it since that time I was having a lousy day and a question of “I love your jacket! Where did you buy it?” made my day. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/55 "2012-05-22T10:25:11Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I think only women can get away with this. If I (male) tried to compliment a woman, she’d think I was trying to pick her up. If I tried to compliment another male, well guess what he would think? > > Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Yup. I never compliment, risky behaviour for a man. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/56 "2012-05-22T10:52:08Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > Yup. I never compliment, risky behaviour for a man. “Lovely necklace. You’d look even nicer in one made of pearls”.😃 ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/57 "2012-05-22T11:42:27Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I get complimented on my neckties all the time, and mostly by a guy. > > I have some pretty fuckin’ awesome neckties. +1, but that is because I seem to be one of the few men in my town with the balls to wear a bowtie. Last week I was out to dinner with The Wife and a gentleman at the bar complimented me on my bowtie (nice bright madras print, real perky and spring-like). I returned the compliment on his fedora (a real fedora, not a trilby, and made with good heavy felt). I am thinking of starting an Old Guys Rule fashion club, at least on beer and martini night. ---
**Author:** ![punch\_line\_loser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e7dd6/32.png) [@punch\_line\_loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/punch_line_loser)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/58 "2012-05-22T19:47:05Z")
As someone who hears this kind of thing often (not trying to stroke my vanity here - a dude with pink hair and painted nails can’t help but call attention to himself), let me just say that just because we may react to you awkwardly it doesn’t lessen our appreciation of the compliments at all, even if it looks like we’re fleeing the scene. It’s something I wish people did for each other more often. That said, I don’t tend to compliment strangers myself - I think it’s more difficult for males to get away with in public. If I somehow hear someone listening to a song I like, however, then I try to make a point to mention it. ---
**Author:** ![Maeganspop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Maeganspop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeganspop)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/59 "2012-05-22T20:31:17Z")
I know a compliment directed at me can make my whole day better, so I always try to compliment people I am around. I don’t think compliments will bring world peace, but it can make someones day a little better. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102/60 "2012-05-22T21:34:03Z")
Yes. Last week I complimented a young lady on her adorable shoes (particularly because I can’t wear heels like that anymore). Usually only fellow women when it comes to clothing. I did compliment a guy on his gorgeous restored 60s something GTO a few weeks back. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-lovely-necklace-do-you-compliment-strangers/622102.md?page=4)