# What a stupid face you have, Boards! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 3, 2008, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-stupid-face-you-have-boards/455138 "2008-07-03T02:23:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2008, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-stupid-face-you-have-boards/455138/1 "2008-07-03T02:23:16Z")
Has anyone else gotten dozens of these emails every week? I just delete them without even opening them, and I don’t remotely care what they’re trying to get me to buy or click on, but what the hell is the purpose of a badly constructed insult as a sales tactic? Am I supposed to be so enraged that I open the email thinking, “I’ll show you, buddy,” and then I’m so intrigued by their promise of Paris Hilton videos, male organ enhancement techniques, or refinancing plans that I decide to follow a link to their malware-ridden enterprise? Who entrusts their organ or their mortgage or even their pornography decisions to “What a stupid face you have” people? This is going to sound weird, but I remember when spam was better. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2008, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-stupid-face-you-have-boards/455138/2 "2008-07-03T02:39:23Z")
Yeah, I’ve been getting one or two a day in my spam filter. I must admit I’m curious about who the hell is using such an idiotic come-on (but not curious enough to open one yet). Anybody have a look? ---
**Author:** ![bufftabby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bufftabby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bufftabby)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2008, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-stupid-face-you-have-boards/455138/3 "2008-07-03T02:42:15Z")
I have seen a ton of those. I use gmail, so they don’t really get through, but I check out my spam bucket occasionally for poops and chuckles, and spam recipes, courtesy of google ads. I think maybe the idea is that we’re supposed to believe they’ve got a picture of us making a stupid face or something. I prefer the ones where they tell me I can have a huge penis. I’m willing to bet that they _cannot_ give me a pill for _that_. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2008, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-stupid-face-you-have-boards/455138/4 "2008-07-03T02:48:18Z")
Hmmm… I just looked in my Gmail spam folder and sure enough, there are a couple of messages like that in there. The complete text of the message is: watch What the hell is that all about? ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2008, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-stupid-face-you-have-boards/455138/5 "2008-07-03T03:05:30Z")
[QUOTE=Colibri] Yeah, I’ve been getting one or two a day in my spam filter. I must admit I’m curious about who the hell is using such an idiotic come-on (but not curious enough to open one yet). Anybody have a look? [/QUOTE] [Don´t](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Web_bug#E-mail_Web_bugs) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2008, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-stupid-face-you-have-boards/455138/6 "2008-07-03T04:53:19Z")
Maybe your watch-face looks stupid? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2008, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-stupid-face-you-have-boards/455138/7 "2008-07-03T13:08:19Z")
[QUOTE=Ale] [Don´t](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Web_bug#E-mail_Web_bugs) [/QUOTE] If you haven’t configured your email software to only load images on demand, do it. It’s a very basic part of using the Internet intelligently. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2008, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-stupid-face-you-have-boards/455138/8 "2008-07-04T16:33:15Z")
I get tons of these things - the idea seems to be that deliberately provocative comments will get a response. Since I have a higher IQ than a can of tomato soup, they do indeed get a response (shift-delete). There seems to be some sort of evolution or speciation going on here; the initial one was “What a stupid face you have here [name]”, but the “You look really stupid [name]” split off early on, and there’s been a rash, recently, of “[name] is a moron”. Well, quite. But not enough of one to open the email. (The silly thing is, I get these things because I’m an ML on the NaNoWriMo boards, and the group email addy for the region I moderate has been harvested by spammers … and NaNoWriMo hasn’t got its SpamAssassin software set up properly to filter this crap out, but that’s another rant. So, “[name]” in all the above examples is the name of the _group_. So it’s grossly inaccurate - we are _several_ morons, with _several_ stupid faces. And as for the ones which go “I caught you naked in the shower [nameofgroup]” … trust me, sunbeam, if you’d caught just me alone naked, you wouldn’t be emailing anyone about it, and the sight of _all_ of us would strike you blind, deaf, and doubly incontinent.) (I agree, though, the standard of spam has gone downhill. All those emails with headers beginning “I want sale you Rolex”, it’s like a third-world bazaar … ) ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2008, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-stupid-face-you-have-boards/455138/9 "2008-07-04T16:48:29Z")
Nothing new. Pensis enlargement spam has done that for years; “Your small tool can’t satisfy her”, “You have a small penis”, and so on. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2008, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-stupid-face-you-have-boards/455138/10 "2008-07-04T17:15:25Z")
[QUOTE=Steve Wright] (I agree, though, the standard of spam has gone downhill. All those emails with headers beginning “I want sale you Rolex”, it’s like a third-world bazaar … ) [/QUOTE] Seriously, mine aren’t even configuring their shaky PERL scripts to mail merge my name in anymore. I only have two spam, one is boring “you have been chosen to stand in for the next of kin” 419 stuff. But this one just read so great I now have the last paragraph (the one with Africa Clothes) as my status on GMail: > [@Subject: Contact FedEx Express with your Mailing Address.](#): > > Goodday to you > I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your Confirmed Bank Draft of ($850,000) Eight hundred and fifty thousand U.S Dollars, but I did not hear from you since for a while, Then I went to the bank to confirm if the draft has expired or getting near to expiring date and Dr.Wilson the Director, Bank of Africa told me that before the draft will get to your hand that it will expire. So I told him to cash the $850,000 U.S DOLLARS to cash payment to avoid losing this funds under expiration, As I will be out out of the country for a( 3) three Months Course and I will not come back till ending of August 2008. > What you have to do now is to contact FEDEX EXPRESS SERVICES as soon as possible to know when they will deliver your Consignment to you because of the expiring date. For your information, I have paid for the delivering Charge, Insurance premium. > The only money you will send to the FEDEX EXPRESS SERVICES to deliver your Consig nment direct to your postal Address in your country is ($155.00 US) One Hundred & Fifty Five United States Dollars only being Security Keeping Fee of the Courier Company so far.Again, don’t be deceived by anybody to pay any other money except $155.00 US Dollars. I would have paid that but they said no because they don’t know when you will contact them and in case of demurrage. > You have to contact FEDEX EXPRESS SERVICES now for the delivery of your Consignment with this information bellow; > Directors Name: Dr.James Blair > > Companys Name:FedeEx Express > > Email Address: [Fraudulant email deleted] > > Tel/Fax [Tel Deleted] > Finally, make sure that you reconfirm your Postal address and Direct telephone number to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery and ask them to give you the tracking number to enable you track your package over there and know when it will get to your address. Let me repeat again, try to contact them as soon as you receive this mail to avoid a ny fur ther delay and remember to pay them their Security Keeping fee of $155.00 US Dollars for their immediate action. > Note this. The FEDEX EXPRESS SERVICES don’t know the contents of the Box. I registered it as a BOX of Africa cloths. They did not know that the contents was money. this is to avoid them delaying with the BOX. Don’t let them know that the box contents is money ok. > I am waiting for your urgent response. > Yours Faithfully, > Mr.Paul Wesley Seriously, whatever you do do NOT tell them money is in the box! Don’t do it! I’m watching you! And seriously does pretending you talked to them a long time ago really make people create like, false memories of this stuff? There can’t be any noticeable volume of people THAT dense, dense enough to fall for a scam maybe, but not to say “oh yeah I remember that completely non-existent event!” That and the gratuitous English makes me cringe (this isn’t “High school dropout” or “minor error” stuff, I’m 90% sure this is at least partially babelfish translation) In other words: [http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h16/smartaleq/fail-blue-screen-1.jpg](http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h16/smartaleq/fail-blue-screen-1.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2008, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-stupid-face-you-have-boards/455138/11 "2008-07-04T23:33:03Z")
My favorite are the ones that look like breaking news. I got one today that had as its subject “Clinton Shot In Public”. Yeah, I’m sure if a Clinton was shot, the first I’d hear of it would be email.