# What A Surprise: Britney's Talking Divorce! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 6, 2005, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277 "2005-12-06T01:07:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/21 "2005-12-06T13:29:49Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > Impulsive young stars. The sad part is the poor child involved. Hey, if she can make a career and a big pile o’ cash in the recording industry, she can take her lumps like the rest of us. Oh, wait, you meant… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/22 "2005-12-06T17:19:37Z")
When she conceived this child, she was probably “under Fed”. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/23 "2005-12-06T17:48:28Z")
Sniff… sob… but if Britney and Kevin can’t make it, if two people THAT mature and classy and sincerely in love can’t make it, what hope is there for ANY of US? ---
**Author:** ![Amaranta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Amaranta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amaranta)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/24 "2005-12-06T19:18:57Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Sniff… sob… but if Britney and Kevin can’t make it, if two people THAT mature and classy and sincerely in love can’t make it, what hope is there for ANY of US? Especially after the dream wedding! Chicken and ribs for the guests! A bride who’s hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in weeks! The groomsmen wearing tracksuits that read “P.I.M.P.” on the back! It’s so tragic. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/25 "2005-12-06T19:59:35Z")
Somewhere **Shar Jackson** is laughing her ass off. ---
**Author:** ![Rhinocerous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f14d63/32.png) [@Rhinocerous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhinocerous)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/26 "2005-12-06T20:06:38Z")
If I’m not mistaken, there does exist a pre-nump between Britney and K-Fed, which stipulates that K-Fed will receive $300,000 per year for half the length of their marriage. So it looks like K-Fed has just earned himself $150,000. . . . which is a pittance in comparison to the benjamins he’s going to make once he complete’s his rap album! I’ve heard him flow on the internet, he’s totally tight. Phat rhymes. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/27 "2005-12-06T20:16:32Z")
Oh, how terribly dreadful. [/deadpan] ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/28 "2005-12-06T20:31:57Z")
> [@Rhinocerous](#): > > If I’m not mistaken, there does exist a pre-nump between Britney and K-Fed, which stipulates that K-Fed will receive $300,000 per year for half the length of their marriage. So it looks like K-Fed has just earned himself $150,000. > > . . . which is a pittance in comparison to the benjamins he’s going to make once he complete’s his rap album! I’ve heard him flow on the internet, he’s totally tight. Phat rhymes. My sarcasm meter just blew up. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/29 "2005-12-06T20:46:03Z")
Now’s your chance, **Tuckerfan**! Call her up and maybe you can get her on the rebound! ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/30 "2005-12-06T20:52:10Z")
The silver lining: this will free her up to focus on her music. The bad news: without her pimp, she’ll struggle to have a successful transition into hardcore pr0n. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/31 "2005-12-06T21:28:19Z")
> [@amaranta](#): > > Especially after the dream wedding! Chicken and ribs for the guests! A bride who’s hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in weeks! The groomsmen wearing tracksuits that read “P.I.M.P.” on the back! It’s so tragic. \ I thought her wedding was really pretty. Quite frankly, I’d have much more fun at (and much rather have) a wedding that is laid back and fun (I could see my friends and I doing silly tack suits or something equally funny). And actually, it was chicken strips 😉 But yes, other than the skeevy groom, I thought her wedding looked nice. [Le Cite.](http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TQCNAsYXQKixfxKgbAjQcUU*0DiOHVL41sum39DoYALLAWHjR7OlKYi4LulUYDZ7ElIDo9BaNokAmNsc4ikR0!nJkmMa!O6GQF7MrjqFjaQ2o7jMlsdV*Q/wedding-002.jpg?dc=4675550677388457646)[Cite the next.](http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TQCNAswXx6mxfxKgbAjQcf4wldOTvl58IO8E4oAuCsbZLjsa0USQ3dqGY*ufLAr0dPOVKcCNYZ5dwWUAAvinS220xFLEa8OOvYh7eCpK9j6Y6wbsNpBqUA/wedding-017.jpg?dc=4675550677391516617) [And another one, for good measure.](http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0UQCRAqYYXguxfxKgbAjQcVEafVaYfWUVOdW*WwUc1dJ5ogyge6Rk1XjoQsvWeeBTxvVdfBp3AwKszDqx8n7BeFoUnkDSqYZFdycvQ3OagI993jPNeFA8Ng6uJcsiz5Se/wedding-027.jpg?dc=4675550677393256874) You have to remember she’s a young girl, so she had a fun, younger wedding. No big. I’m sure her next three will have Lobster and Crystal 😛 \ As “trashy” as everyone sees her as, she’s still too good for that guy. Don’t get me wrong, she is completely at fault for not seeing what a creep he is (hello? he left his 6 month pregnant girlfriend to go bang you in Europe!). Oh, and have fun with [this.](http://www.katu.com/entertainment/story.asp?ID=80855) No seriously, listen to the song; you’ll double over laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Rhinocerous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f14d63/32.png) [@Rhinocerous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhinocerous)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/32 "2005-12-06T21:48:24Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Oh, and have fun with [this.](http://www.katu.com/entertainment/story.asp?ID=80855) No seriously, listen to the song; you’ll double over laughing. Aren’t you glad that you don’t have to deal with Pavarottis following you around? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/33 "2005-12-06T21:50:32Z")
\ Well yeah, I’d have to fear for my sandwiches at all times! \ ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/34 "2005-12-06T21:52:38Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Sniff… sob… but if Britney and Kevin can’t make it, if two people THAT mature and classy and sincerely in love can’t make it, what hope is there for ANY of US? Indeed! Imagine, a celebrity marriage that might actually end in _divorce!_ I never thought I’d see the day. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/35 "2005-12-06T21:55:40Z")
> [@Electronic Chaos](#): > > It means that if they get divorced, we get to call Britney “Fed’s Ex” And then, when she has another baby, the headlines will read, “ **Fed’s Ex Delivers** ”. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/36 "2005-12-06T22:06:36Z")
Is it just me, or does “Britney’s Talking Divorce” sound like some kind of electronic board game? ---
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/37 "2005-12-07T00:50:21Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > Somewhere **Shar Jackson** is laughing her ass off. Not to mention **Christina Aguilera**! I knew he was a flaming jerkoff when he bought a $250,000 Ferrari with _her_ money! A freaking Ferrari? Jeez, I feel bad when Mrs. Know offers to pay for dinner! I was going to try to make a clever play on names, too, but you guys got all the good ones. **Tentacle** , I’d copyright that game if I were you! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/38 "2005-12-07T01:05:22Z")
I knew a guy with Britney’s baby’s name, Sean Preston, in the Army. He once got lost because he couldn’t figure out where all the “Brown roads” were, the one marked in brown on his topographical map. He was looking at contour lines. That doesn’t have anything to do with Britney Spears or Kevin Federline aside from the name, but it’s a funny story. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/39 "2005-12-07T01:41:00Z")
I gotta side wih the Fedmeister on this one. So he brought a little doobage home, big deal. Yeah, it was the _same house_ as the baby, but so what? It’s a big house, right? They’re not _really_ living a trailer, that’s just a joke, isn’t it? If she gets this pissed over a couple joints, what’s gonna happen when he brings home some strippers from the local Boobie Barn? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/40 "2005-12-07T01:57:51Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > Is it just me, or does “Britney’s Talking Divorce” sound like some kind of electronic board game? (Rolls dice.) One, two, three, four, five, six seven. Hmm, Britney Chest card. Let’s see… \*\*GET A JOB Britney makes you get a job! Lose a turn!\*\* Shit! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277.md?page=3)