# What A Surprise: Britney's Talking Divorce! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 6, 2005, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277 "2005-12-06T01:07:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/41 "2005-12-07T02:21:51Z")
Anyone in favour of a constutional amendment banning celebrities from marrying? Or divorcing, maybe? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/42 "2005-12-07T02:50:06Z")
To hijack this thread, because it really isn’t deserving of a thread of its own… Brainiac4 and I ran to the grocery store last week. Checking out we noticed the cover of People magazine. Jessica and Nick Its Over Her Sudden Decision His Stunned Reaction So I look at Brainiac4 and say “if she made a sudden decision and he was stunned, they are the only two literate people in America who aren’t having their information screened by Karl Rove and Dick Cheney who think so.” I have a vague notion of who Nick and Jessica are (she’s a singer, I have no idea what he did to get famous), but their major claim to fame seems to be having a dysfunctional marriage that is on the front page of the tabloids every time I go to the grocery store. (Perhaps the writers at People don’t know the meaning of “sudden”) ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/43 "2005-12-07T03:03:31Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I have a vague notion of who Nick and Jessica are (she’s a singer, I have no idea what he did to get famous), Hes a singer too. Was in a band called 98 degrees. ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/44 "2005-12-07T03:05:03Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > If she gets this pissed over a couple joints, what’s gonna happen when he brings home some strippers from the local Boobie Barn? Boobie Barn? Boob Depot Boobs R Us Boobery farms Bath and Booby Works ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/45 "2005-12-07T03:24:46Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Oh, and have fun with [this.](http://www.katu.com/entertainment/story.asp?ID=80855) No seriously, listen to the song; you’ll double over laughing. I can’t believe I wasted bandwidth and hard drive space on that. It’s really awful. All the Pavarottis followin’ me. what a :wally ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/46 "2005-12-07T03:26:36Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Oh, and have fun with [this.](http://www.katu.com/entertainment/story.asp?ID=80855) No seriously, listen to the song; you’ll double over laughing. Funny, all I got was > [@](#): > > SQL/DB Error – [ > Error establishing a database connection! > Are you sure you have the correct user/password? > Are you sure that you have typed the correct hostname? > Are you sure that the database server is running? > ] > SQL/DB Error – [ > Error selecting database stereogum! > Are you sure it exists? > Are you sure there is a valid database connection? > ] > SQL/DB Error – > Error executing error template. Oh, and **Ponder Stibbons** , I’d rather felch a dead goat, than do the Britster. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/47 "2005-12-07T04:19:31Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > Boobie Barn? > Boob Depot > Boobs R Us > Boobery farms > Bath and Booby Works Boobs, Bath, And Beyond ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/48 "2005-12-07T04:41:40Z")
I hear Britney’s reps have issued a statement, saying the breakup is all Kevin’s fault. Since the baby’s been born, he hasn’t been spending anytime with his wife or child and instead spends all his time out partying with his friends and hanging around other women. An upset Britney said, “I’m shocked by Kevin’s behavior. I thought he got all that kind of thing out of his system during his first marriage.” ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/49 "2005-12-07T16:39:03Z")
> [@BMax](#): > > I can’t believe I wasted bandwidth and hard drive space on that. It’s really awful. > > All the Pavarottis followin’ me. what a :wally Yeah, and god knows how much spyware has been uploaded on my computer now, from the look of all the porn pop-ups that appeared from that link. It was a cross between a wannabe Eminem and a wannabe Britney Spears. scary! :eek: You know, between this and the inevitable Simpson breakup, it should be a lesson for all newlywed celebs out there. Keep your damn marriage out of the spotlight!! Sheesh. The more they flaunt their twu wuv marriages in front of everyone, the faster they fall apart. Oh, and I’m sure Britney is shocked, _shocked!_ that her hubby is not the most reponsible daddy on the planet. For god sakes you dumbass, he dumped his _six month pregnant_ girlfriend to chase your trailer trash ass around Europe! Gah! There’s only so much idiocy one can take. I bet this is making Shar Jackson’s year. Rightly so. ---
**Author:** ![Rhinocerous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f14d63/32.png) [@Rhinocerous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhinocerous)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/50 "2005-12-07T17:31:20Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > [I guess she can’t stand the thought of Jessica Simpson having all the fun.](http://www.postchronicle.com/news/entertainment/article_2121676.shtml)[Nelson] Ha HA! [/Nelson] You know what? It really does seem like Britney tries to compete with Jessica Simpson with her marriage. Did any of you stumble across a train wreck of a television show called “Chaotic”? It was Britney’s answer to Nick & Jessica’s successful “Newlyweds” reality television show. As unwatchable as either show was, Britney’s appeared to be a self-filmed white-trash version of Newlyweds. Almost as unwatchable as “Growing Up Gotti.” ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/51 "2005-12-07T17:59:19Z")
> [@lezlers](#): > > You know, between this and the inevitable Simpson breakup… I’ve stopped watching sometime ago, but are you saying that Homer and Marge are no longer together? ---
**Author:** ![Jackie\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/22d042/32.png) [@Jackie\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackie_Blue)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/52 "2005-12-07T18:08:28Z")
I’m just ‘Fed-up’ with all the Britney hype. What do you expect from a guy who fathers two children one child out of wedlock, and then hooks up with another girl while the second child has yet to be born. :wally ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/53 "2005-12-07T19:22:10Z")
So how come we all could see this beforehand and she didn’t? Surely there are many decent guys who would be attracted to her (she IS pretty, you know) she could’ve had quite a lot to choose from. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/54 "2005-12-07T19:55:08Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > So how come we all could see this beforehand and she didn’t? Surely there are many decent guys who would be attracted to her (she IS pretty, you know) she could’ve had quite a lot to choose from. That would be because she’s a MORON. Now, I’m not proud of the fact that I watched the show “Chaotic”, but I did. There, I said it. I watched that piece of crap show. If you had watched it as well, you would realize that in all actuality, those two were a match made in heaven. I have never seen two more vapid, shallow, downright _stupid_, people more deserving of each other. It was sort of like watching a trainwreck and did nothing but highlight what a trashy, spoiled, stupid little girl Britney Spears is and Kevin Federline is _exactly_ the type of guy stupid, trashy little girls like her are attracted to. Anyone who would run away with, then marry and bear the child of a “man” who would leave his six month pregnant girlfriend deserves what she gets. Now, it seems to me that maybe having a baby matured 'ol Brit a little. Perhaps she outgrew him, just a lot quicker than we all thought. Doubtful, though. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/55 "2005-12-07T20:05:48Z")
> [@lezlers](#): > > Now, it seems to me that maybe having a baby matured 'ol Brit a little. Perhaps she outgrew him, just a lot quicker than we all thought. Doubtful, though. Or she needed an excuse, and throwing him out for ‘being one of them druggies around my baby’ is an excuse that makes her look presentable to the “I’d like to thank my mama and Elvis” crowd. -Joe, kinda like Elvis ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/56 "2005-12-07T20:12:53Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > Now’s your chance, **Tuckerfan**! Call her up and maybe you can get her on the rebound! **Tuckerfan** ’s welcome to Britney. Me, I’m getting a haircut and a shoeshine and heading out to start stalking Valerie Bertinelli. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/57 "2005-12-07T20:31:31Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > Or she needed an excuse, and throwing him out for ‘being one of them druggies around my baby’ is an excuse that makes her look presentable to the “I’d like to thank my mama and Elvis” crowd. > > -Joe, kinda like Elvis Yeah, except for the fact that something else their trainwreck of a show made abundently clear was how big of a stoner Kevin is. I mean, he could barely keep his eyes open in most of his “interviews” (which mainly consisted of him rambling incoherently). If it’s that obvious to someone watching a highly edited show, it should have been obvious to her, even with how stupid she is. Makes Britney seem like a bit of a hypocrite, that. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/58 "2005-12-07T22:21:49Z")
Well, unless he suddenly became a massive stoner AFTER they got married… Browse before you buy, dummy. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/59 "2005-12-07T22:27:19Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > Or she needed an excuse, and throwing him out for ‘being one of them druggies around my baby’ is an excuse that makes her look presentable to the “I’d like to thank my mama and Elvis” crowd. > > -Joe, kinda like Elvis I’m definitely going with this one. She wanted a baby. So now that the fetus has clawed its way out of her vagina she can dump the scum that put it and still be “an inspiration to girls everywhere” and sell a boatload of her next CD. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/60 "2005-12-08T01:49:29Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > Well, unless he suddenly became a massive stoner AFTER they got married… > > Browse before you buy, dummy. > > -Joe No way, dude. The footage of the show was filmed during their “courtship,” if you could call it that. There was no way that girl, stupid aside, could not have known he was a total stoner. If she had no problem with it then, she can’t go getting all indignant about it now, just because they had a baby. For the love of god, even _she_ can’t be _that_ naiive. What, did she think he’d become a “changed man” after their son was born? Come _on_. Becoming a father obviously didn’t mature him the first two times… And can I just say that THIS: > [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > So now that the fetus has clawed its way out of her vagina is just wrong. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight now with that image now seared into my brain. Thanks for that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277.md?page=4)