# What A Surprise: Britney's Talking Divorce! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 6, 2005, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277 "2005-12-06T01:07:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/61 "2005-12-08T02:26:21Z")
Thanks, I really tried. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/62 "2005-12-08T02:38:17Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > she IS pretty, you know And it apparently [takes a lot of work to get her that way.](http://www.celebslist.com/free/britney_spears/trash/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/63 "2005-12-08T03:06:55Z")
Item! It seems **Britney Spears** and **K-Lo** have inspired other celebrities to _untie_ the knot for the holidays. In addition to **Nicole Ritchy** [breaking up with beau](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10371968/) **DJ Goldberg** , former “Eight is Enough” star **Valerie Bertinelli** has [filed for divorce](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10357520/) from Van Halen frontman **David Lee Van Halen**. But that’s not all! Former “Married With Children” vixen, **Christina Applegate** is now unmarried without children, as her hubby of four years just [left her](http://tmz.aol.com/article1?id=20051205222209990011). His name is **Jonathan Skeech** , and ladies, he’s single! [/Jackie Harvey] ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/64 "2005-12-08T03:53:22Z")
Which comes as a great surprise to David Lee Roth, who sang for van halen, but was never married to Valerie. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![beowulf573](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@beowulf573](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulf573)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/65 "2005-12-08T03:58:02Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > Which comes as a great surprise to David Lee Roth, who sang for van halen, but was never married to Valerie. :rolleyes: Nor starred in Eight is Enough. ---
**Author:** ![T\_SQUARE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de053/32.png) [@T\_SQUARE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T_SQUARE)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/66 "2005-12-08T04:28:45Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > Which comes as a great surprise to David Lee Roth, who sang for van halen, but was never married to Valerie. :rolleyes: I think it’s from “The Onion.” Gossip writer Jackie Harvey always gets the details mixed up. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/67 "2005-12-08T04:32:57Z")
David Lee Roth might have made 8 is Enough more interesting. In other news: [Tori Spelling’s husband files for divorce](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9697683/from/RL.4/) . Will this madness never end? Hey, maybe Kevin Federline will impregnant Paris Hilton and she’ll blow up to 105 lbs. ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/68 "2005-12-08T04:38:12Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > David Lee Roth might have made 8 is Enough more interesting. > > In other news: [Tori Spelling’s husband files for divorce](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9697683/from/RL.4/) . Will this madness never end? > Hey, maybe Kevin Federline will impregnant Paris Hilton and she’ll blow up to 105 lbs. David Lee makes everything more interesting. Re:Paris; it would’ve been funnier had you left off the to 105 lbs. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/69 "2005-12-08T04:39:18Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > Which comes as a great surprise to David Lee Roth, who sang for van halen, but was never married to Valerie. :rolleyes: Oh, I must have been thinking of Eddie Money, her first husband. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/70 "2005-12-08T04:42:33Z")
That roll eyes smilie would be comfortable in your butt. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/71 "2005-12-08T10:20:39Z")
In the name of fighting ignorance, I suffered thru watching ET last night. believe it or not they covered the K-Fed/Britney break-up and are now saying they may reconcile. He may have left the Beverly Hills Hotel. Then they asked Gwen Stefani, she denied they were breaking up or something . Then Jaime Pressley,from the Earl tv show, says it’s a good thing. The interviewer asks “Not your favorite guy?”, she says “No, not really”. Honesty?? In Tinseltown?? way to go Jaime. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/72 "2005-12-09T14:36:18Z")
> [@](#): > > Then Jaime Pressley,from the Earl tv show, says it’s a good thing. The interviewer asks “Not your favorite guy?”, she says “No, not really”. Honesty?? In Tinseltown?? way to go Jaime. And just to get this more confused, wasn’t Pressly seeing Chris Judd, Jennifer Lopez’ ex-husband? ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/73 "2005-12-09T15:59:44Z")
I don’t sympathize with either of them. I feel bad for the kid whose parents are a couple of users who are in it for what they can get out of the deal. She wanted a baby…period. Finds sperm donor Kevin, decides to make it legit she better marry him first, gets what she wants out of the deal (baby) and dumps the guy. Sperm donor Kevin has nothing better going on, has no job, but likes using his looks to mooch off chicks with money so he can basically do nothing but have a lot of nice crap. Britney offered, he took. Sorry folks, no love here. She got her baby, he got his temporary bling. That was the deal from the begining. Both in it for themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/74 "2005-12-09T17:58:14Z")
That seems to make sense, except for the “using his looks” part. I’m not seeing this. You think he’s attractive? ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/75 "2005-12-09T19:42:26Z")
I’m just glad poor John Paul II didn’t live to see this. Didn’t he ask her to read some of his poetry on a recording, since she was doing such a good job of teaching young children how to make resposible decisions about their bodies, what with being a self-proclaimed virgin, and all? ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/76 "2005-12-09T20:09:09Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > I don’t sympathize with either of them. I feel bad for the kid whose parents are a couple of users who are in it for what they can get out of the deal. > She wanted a baby…period. Finds sperm donor Kevin, decides to make it legit she better marry him first, gets what she wants out of the deal (baby) and dumps the guy. > Sperm donor Kevin has nothing better going on, has no job, but likes using his looks to mooch off chicks with money so he can basically do nothing but have a lot of nice crap. Britney offered, he took. > Sorry folks, no love here. She got her baby, he got his temporary bling. That was the deal from the begining. Both in it for themselves. I don’t buy that at all. Britney’s too stupid to come up with that elaborate of a plan. I truly believe she loves him. Why? Because she’s stupid, stubborn and doesn’t know any better. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/77 "2005-12-17T01:21:11Z")
Britney’s fans are throwing their support behind her! [http://www.divorcekevin.com/](http://www.divorcekevin.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/78 "2005-12-17T05:51:49Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > \ > I thought her wedding was really pretty. Quite frankly, I’d have much more fun at (and much rather have) a wedding that is laid back and fun (I could see my friends and I doing silly tack suits or something equally funny). And actually, it was chicken strips 😉 > . It was pretty at first-the decorations were lovely, the cake, the flowers, etc. And her dress was lovely. But then she changed into that little mini dress, and then into those stupid track suits. Kevin pulling the garter off with his teeth. Ugh. _Chaotic_ was a hoot. Remember when she thought the painting depicting the rape of Persephone was about a woman who met this guy and she liked him but was nervous, but her little guardian fairy was protecting her? Or when people told her what a skeeze Kevin was, she said, and I quote: > [@Britney Spears](#): > > I’m so sorry you don’t have what I have. Then she said she finally met her prince and was going to have her “happily ever after.” **lezlers** , don’t be ashamed of watching _Chaotic_. It was fascinating, a real piece of authentic stupidity. It’s like watching a really stupid troll melt down in the Pit. Oh, and let’s not forget the ad for her new perfume, “Fantasy”, when a K-Fed Skank-a-Like shoots her with his “love arrow” with the little red suction dart. (I shit you not, they actually showed it saying, “love arrow.”) She’s incredibly, insanely pork stupid and actually thinks K-Fed’s a real catch. I don’t see her letting him go without a fight. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277/79 "2005-12-17T14:07:42Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Her mother forced her to sign one-she didn’t want to because it was “twu wuv!” This concept of “Wuv” CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-surprise-britneys-talking-divorce/334277.md?page=3)