# What a terrible way to die! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 25, 2002, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773 "2002-07-25T15:14:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/1 "2002-07-25T15:14:56Z")
[Man Dies in Huge Vat of Chocolate](http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,58596,00.html) ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/2 "2002-07-25T15:30:29Z")
Is anyone else besides me having a Smothers Brothers moment over this one? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/3 "2002-07-25T15:41:53Z")
Hey, you got chocolate on my pinhead! ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/4 "2002-07-25T16:18:42Z")
Hey, you got your pinhead in my chocolate! Good Lord. I’m not sure if this is a hellish way to die (suffocation, drowning, probably), or the ultimate chocolate lovers’ delite. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/5 "2002-07-25T16:33:07Z")
Preliminary autopsy results indicated the victim had a creamy center. He was pronounced “delicious” at the scene, wrapped in cellophane and shipped to the funeral home, where he will be sprinkled with jimmies prior to the funeral. ---
**Author:** ![av8rmike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@av8rmike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/av8rmike)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/6 "2002-07-25T16:40:51Z")
I already covered[this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=127361), over in MPSIMS… This is kind of like the man who drowned in a vat of beer after 3 hours. It would have taken less time, but he kept getting out for pretzels. [rimshot] ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/7 "2002-07-25T21:47:43Z")
“In his honor, the place on the catwalk from which he fell will be renamed ‘the sweet spot’…” ---
**Author:** ![Fibonacci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Fibonacci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fibonacci)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/8 "2002-07-25T22:56:14Z")
Sounds like they really need to fill [this position.](http://www.lionlink.psu.edu/psaaweb.nsf/2050a4bdb16fd1e98525687300553613/6297c2dc8c94afb085256bb100728c72?OpenDocument) ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/9 "2002-07-25T22:56:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by av8rmike \* > \*\* > > This is kind of like the man who drowned in a vat of beer after 3 hours. It would have taken less time, but he kept getting out for pretzels. [rimshot] \*\* The cremation took a week and a half. ---
**Author:** ![1kBR\_Kid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/dc4da7/32.png) [@1kBR\_Kid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1kBR_Kid)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/10 "2002-07-26T08:04:09Z")
How’d you like to have that first name??? Wow! This reminds me of the episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show when the clown died. He was dressed like a giant peanut and got trampled by an elephant. The circumstances were hilarious but it was just wrong to laugh. I’ll burn in hell for trying to think of a joke about a chocolate-covered Yoni. :o ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/11 "2002-07-26T14:17:41Z")
You’ve got to warn everyone and tell them! Cloud Nine Pure Chocolate Dairy Free Baking Chips is people! It’s made of people! ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/12 "2002-07-26T14:25:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*Preliminary autopsy results indicated the victim had a creamy center. He was pronounced “delicious” at the scene, wrapped in cellophane and shipped to the funeral home, where he will be sprinkled with jimmies prior to the funeral. \*\* If this isn’t the funniest thing I’ve seen in the last five minutes I don’t know what is. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/13 "2002-07-26T15:12:22Z")
Latest police report: three Oompa-Loompas have been taken in for questioning. ---
**Author:** ![QueenAl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/d26b3c/32.png) [@QueenAl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QueenAl)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/14 "2002-07-26T21:52:57Z")
OMG, this is just awful. Imagine his relations, for years to come, having to tell people what happened to their son and waiting for the inevitable stifled snigger. Or perhaps people won’t believe them. It’s like many years ago, when I read about man who was killed by a falling sandcastle. The puns and bad jokes worm their way in despite yourself. Will his tombstone say ‘Rest in Reese’s Pieces’? (That was so bad, but it had to be let out). ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/15 "2002-07-27T02:27:23Z")
I was wondering the same thing, **QueenAl**. I think I might settle for, “He was killed in an on the job accident. It’s too painful to talk about.” I, too, was overcome with the urge to make jokes and puns upon hearing of the poor guy’s demise. I did try to remember that he probably died painfully, and there are people who are devastated at the moment about his death. But oh, man, those jokes just about eat me up inside. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/16 "2002-07-27T07:34:28Z")
Well, if I personally ever happen to die in a tragic yet bemusing way, I give permission in advance to joke about it. Heck, I’d be laughing too, if I could. It’d probably end up on my tombstone, too… > [@](#): > > ``` > Dedicated to the Memory of > ----NICK GASTON---- > R.I.P. > Scientist and Saint > ---1980-2018--- > > ``` > > Only man ever gnawed to death by sea monkeys. As seen on “Ripley’s Believe it or Not.” ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/17 "2002-07-27T07:43:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eonwe \* > \*\*If this isn’t the funniest thing I’ve seen in the last five minutes I don’t know what is. \*\* I have to agree with **1kBR Kid**. “Chocolate-covered yoni” puts up a good fight here. ---
**Author:** ![jmpride62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@jmpride62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmpride62)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/18 "2002-07-27T10:32:45Z")
I bet this family has eaten their last chocoate easter bunny. Might be kind of hard to bite off an ear after this incident! ---
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/19 "2002-07-27T10:38:33Z")
I think I’d rather die in a vat of chocolate than be buried alive like those miners. I hope they do rsuce them but time is running out ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2002, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773/20 "2002-07-28T00:08:05Z")
Tell the truth now…am I the only one that thinks this sounds like the sort of thing that the 60’s TV Batman would rush to investigate? Yes? Just checking. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-a-terrible-way-to-die/120773.md?page=2)