# What Actor Would You Pay To Read the Phone Book? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 18, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620 "2004-04-18T02:47:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Odeon\_Bypass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Odeon\_Bypass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odeon_Bypass)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/21 "2004-04-18T06:28:39Z")
Elizabeth Hurley. Or, if he was still with us, Phil Hartman. ---
**Author:** ![Granuaile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecccb3/32.png) [@Granuaile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Granuaile)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/22 "2004-04-18T06:37:30Z")
I second Jeremy Irons. I bought the audiobook of Lolita just to hear his narration. That _voice_, like wood smoke laced with whiskey, rumbling throught the headphones…Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![manx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@manx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manx)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/23 "2004-04-18T10:14:27Z")
Sean Connery. I would sit happily and listen to him mumble random syllables. Yum. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/24 "2004-04-18T10:29:57Z")
In no particular order, or deliberate gender separation: Alan Rickman Nikki de Boer Allison Hannigan Alexis Dennisof Anthony Stewart Head Alexander Siddig Tara Strong Hmm… I notice that all the males have distinct accents. (Tony Head’s voice is great whether in his natural accent, or the accent he uses for Giles), and there’s a heavy skewing towards the Buffyverse and Star Trek. Interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/25 "2004-04-18T10:35:46Z")
For the diction alone, Alex Guiness. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/26 "2004-04-18T11:06:58Z")
Humphrey Bogart Marion Lorne[but only if she does her delightfully pixilated{can a witch be pixilated?} and befuddled Aunt Clara from “Bewitched” voice. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/27 "2004-04-18T11:41:33Z")
Well, I’d definitely choose Alan Rickman. Billy Boyd - I just love that cute Glaswegian accent. Then again, I think I’d choose to have him sing at least half the phone book. I’m pretty much a sucker for most U.K. accents. Once I would have added Aussie but then Steve Irwin came along and ruined that for me. Crikey! For women Catherine Zeta-Jones, though I think I’d rather just look at her read the phone book. For those that like the female smoky husky voice I’d mention Linda Fiorentino. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/28 "2004-04-18T11:42:37Z")
Oops, forgot. Gregory Peck (but yes, unfortunately, it would have to be by seance) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/29 "2004-04-18T12:02:35Z")
Agnetha Faltskog, Bjorn Ulvaeus, Benny Andersson & Anni-Frid Lynstad. And I’d even be willing to listen to the _Swedish_phone book if it meant an ABBA reunion. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/30 "2004-04-18T12:07:48Z")
Mel Tillis, but only the ‘W’ section. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/31 "2004-04-18T12:57:16Z")
Kevin Pollak, Dan Castallanetta, and Alan Arkin. They’d make me laugh! Or Ellen DeGeneres. If we’re going for ‘arresting’ type voices, I’d have to say: Andrea Corr Keira Knightley Jennifer Aniston (strange but true, her voice is actually really nice) ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/32 "2004-04-18T13:12:34Z")
Thurl Ravenscroft. He’s _grrrrrrrrrrrrreat!_ ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/33 "2004-04-18T17:22:09Z")
I think that the thread title is a pretty good definition of James Earl Jones. Which, come to think of it, may be why he advertised Ameritech. And on the female side, I’m surprised that nobody mentioned Julie Andrews yet. Also, is it fair to bring in non-acting singers? Because Enya’s voice sounds great no matter what she’s saying. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/34 "2004-04-18T17:51:58Z")
I’m surprised no one said my two picks yet: Ian McShane and Clancy Brown. Women: Angie Harmon (love than smoky voice), Stockard Channing ---
**Author:** ![fortytwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f9ae1b/32.png) [@fortytwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fortytwo)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/35 "2004-04-18T18:27:09Z")
I’d like to nominate Peter Ustinov. I’m sure it would be amusing. If he was still around of course. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/36 "2004-04-18T18:46:41Z")
John Houseman Sir John Gielgud Kenneth Branagh as Henry V Christopher Walken Clint Eastwood ---
**Author:** ![Selkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Selkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Selkie)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/37 "2004-04-18T18:54:20Z")
Of those not already mentioned: [Colm Feore](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0272173/) [Samuel Le Bihan](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0494078/) [Dennis Haysbert](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0371660/) ---
**Author:** ![Dystopos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@Dystopos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dystopos)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/38 "2004-04-18T19:33:27Z")
A few I didn’t see mentioned: Ken Nordine Gabriel Byrne Liam Neeson Donald Sutherland Spalding Gray Audrey Tatou Pam Grier Ashley Judd Geena Davis Della Reese ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/39 "2004-04-18T19:39:21Z")
Maura Tierney, if I could pay her to read the section with my phone number and then use it. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620/40 "2004-04-18T19:46:51Z")
38 posts and no one has mentioned **George Takei**? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-actor-would-you-pay-to-read-the-phone-book/240620.md?page=3)