# What advice would the current you give to your parents when you were born? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 26, 2015, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960 "2015-08-26T16:27:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/21 "2015-08-26T19:14:41Z")
Get therapy. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/22 "2015-08-26T19:15:52Z")
Just because she’s a girl doesn’t mean she’s a lesser being than her to-be-born-later brother. Yeah, most people in the 50s were stuck in the SAHM/white picket fence/happy homemaker frame of mind regarding girls’ futures, but times are changing. As it happens, I avoided that mold by choosing my own path at 19, but I spent a lot of years resenting my brother because he got to go to the private high school (“He’ll have a family to support!” - ooops, looks like he ended up divorced and childless…) while I had to go to the public school. OK, yeah, still some issues there. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/23 "2015-08-26T19:25:10Z")
Oh, yeah, hey… when he’s shunned by the entire 6th grade class, and they have a big parent-teacher conference with all the parents there to talk about it? Do something the fuck about it. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/24 "2015-08-26T19:26:04Z")
1. He’s gay. It’s not your fault, you didn’t do anything to make him that way. It just is. Get used to the idea now and the future will be much smoother. 2. Yes he’s smart and will ace all his tests. Push him to actually do the work anyway, just because those A’s will come easy doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be challenged. (especially math, he hates math but make him take the advanced courses anyway) 3. He’s bipolar and has some major anxiety issues. Get him some help at an early age. Just like number 1 it’s not your fault. He just needs the help. ---
**Author:** ![Deeg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deeg/32/2955_2.png) [@Deeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deeg)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/25 "2015-08-26T19:29:27Z")
My parents were (and are) very good and loving. The only real thing I’d tell them is: Forget the piano; let him play the drums or guitar. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/26 "2015-08-26T19:34:02Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Thread title makes perfect sense. What are you talking about? “What advice would the current you give to your parents when you were born?” Well maybe you can parse that but I can’t. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/27 "2015-08-26T19:38:50Z")
Spend some time getting to know her. Just because she looks like her sister doesn’t mean she is the same as her sister. And use what you learn to help her develop her own niches. Otherwise, what will happen is that she’ll constantly be in the position of playing second fiddle (literally and metaphorically). Sure, it will build character. But you know what also helps build character? Winning sometimes. And stop being so quick to anger. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/28 "2015-08-26T19:42:15Z")
What advice would {subject: the current you} give {indirect object: to your parents} {adverbial phrase (time): when you were born}? You, the current iteration thereof (i.e. you right now) are being asked what advice you would give to your parents, the past iteration thereof (i.e. at the time when you were born). “Current” is an adjective modifying “you”; “you” is an elision of “version of you” or “person you are” or something. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/29 "2015-08-26T19:42:36Z")
Yeah, I like who I am too, and changing my past would probably result in a different me. Regardless: 1. Get me kids to play with before age 5 so I can be properly socialized. Do not let the first day of school be the first time I routinely meet someone close to my own age. 2. Teach me to stand up for myself and punch a couple bullies in the nose rather than laying down and taking everything. (granted, if 1 was done this might not even be necessary). 3. Talk to me like I’m a human being and acknowledge my feelings. I am not a thing to be ignored until you need to order me to do something. 4. You’re depressed and anxious. Go to the doctor and do something about it instead of taking it out on me. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/30 "2015-08-26T19:44:52Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > “What advice would the current you give to your parents when you were born?” > > Well maybe you can parse that but I can’t. Looks like you parsed it just fine for post #2… ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/31 "2015-08-26T20:12:16Z")
Kill yourself as soon as possible, so more responsible members of the family can give this child a decent life without having to fight you at every turn. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/32 "2015-08-26T20:15:01Z")
> [@Renee](#): > > Do you think they could have done anything, though? I’d say the same thing, but I doubt my parents could had done any better. I was as willful as I was talented. Yeah, I think so. Parenting was different back then (born in 60), but I sure don’t recall any repercussions when I flunked out of honors my freshman year of HS. My parents were older, and I think they might have been worn out from my 3 older sisters pushing boundaries. I know how little I did - how much TV I watched, and how much time I just spent reading. (Sure, reading is important.) I think I would have benefitted from having to get a solid part-time job at 16 instead of waiting til summer after my senior year. I dunno. I ended up in a fine spot, and perhaps nothing could have been done, but I wonder if I might have either found something that got me excited, or developed some better habits to challenge myself. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/33 "2015-08-26T20:53:33Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > Yeah, I think so. Parenting was different back then (born in 60), but I sure don’t recall any repercussions when I flunked out of honors my freshman year of HS. My parents were older, and I think they might have been worn out from my 3 older sisters pushing boundaries. > > I know how little I did - how much TV I watched, and how much time I just spent reading. (Sure, reading is important.) I think I would have benefitted from having to get a solid part-time job at 16 instead of waiting til summer after my senior year. I dunno. I ended up in a fine spot, and perhaps nothing could have been done, but I wonder if I might have either found something that got me excited, or developed some better habits to challenge myself. Ah, I misunderstood then. I pretty much coasted through school, but I made almost straight As, full scholarship, etc. I’m not as hard a worker as I wish I was, though, and I think some of that stems from not having to work at school. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/34 "2015-08-26T20:58:21Z")
1. She’s small and a bit backward. Even though she’s barely old enough (I squeaked in by a couple of days), hold her back and wait until next year to send her to kindergarten. 2. It’s okay to praise her every once in awhile. It won’t make her a spoiled brat. 3. Take her side once in awhile, instead of justifying the actions of bullies or psycho teachers. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/35 "2015-08-26T21:02:45Z")
Be more creative with discipline. High pain tolerance + extreme stubbornness will only lead to you become frustrated. Spanking a child until her “will is broken” is actually child abuse. ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/36 "2015-08-26T21:09:31Z")
Take the feedback his school teachers give seriously. Just because he gets straight A’s does not mean everything is ok. Take the results of those tests he takes with the school psychologist in sixth grade seriously. Talk with your son about what those results mean and do something about it. Don’t try to force him to play a musical instrument if he isn’t interested. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/37 "2015-08-26T21:16:33Z")
For Mom: Stop being so critical of my appearance. I’m never going to be thin and pretty. And don’t tell me that I have to do or can’t do something because I’m a girl. Despite this (or maybe because of it, come to think of it), I’ve accomplished some pretty impressive things in the male-dominated arena in which I work. But I’m still not thin or pretty… ---
**Author:** ![Marion\_Wormer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Marion\_Wormer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marion_Wormer)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/38 "2015-08-26T22:13:38Z")
1. You’re going to be great parents 2. Dad, the whole gay thing, I won’t care that you’re gay 3. Mom, after the divorce, you’ll do everything right. Thanks in advance ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/39 "2015-08-26T22:28:13Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Kill yourself as soon as possible, so more responsible members of the family can give this child a decent life without having to fight you at every turn. You belong in a Woody Allen film. My advice: Mama, don’t let your baby grow up to be a cowboy. Don’t let him play guitar and drive an old truck Let him be a doctor or lawyer or such. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960/40 "2015-08-26T23:04:37Z")
1. Stop doing drugs. 2. Dad, don’t rob banks no matter how easy it is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-advice-would-the-current-you-give-to-your-parents-when-you-were-born/728960.md?page=3)