# What animal would you have as a pet? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2010, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594 "2010-06-17T20:23:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Meurglys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/258eb7/32.png) [@Meurglys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meurglys)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/41 "2010-06-18T12:21:43Z")
I’d love to have a tapir! In theory I’d prefer one of the [b&w Malayan](http://www.flickr.com/photos/17270214@N05/3308598051/in/set-72157615941611109/) ones, but they’re probably a bit big and hard to control, so I’d probably settle for one of the [American species](http://www.flickr.com/photos/skoop102/1483811987/in/pool-tapirs), even if they do look a little plainer… Fantasy critter? A ground sloth or a glyptodont! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/42 "2010-06-18T12:56:21Z")
Unicorn. /thread ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/43 "2010-06-18T15:26:53Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > I’d like a [margay](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margay), please. This is a housecat sized spotted wildcat. Oh, yes, me too. Ocelots and Margays are very similar–Margays are smaller, and definitely rarer (they’re extremely endangered AFAIK). But either one would be fine with me. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/44 "2010-06-18T15:31:59Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > I’d like a [margay](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margay), please. This is a housecat sized spotted wildcat. > > For an imaginary pet, I’d like a [beholder](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beholder), as long as it likes or loves me. A beholder is usually extremely nasty tempered. It would be both friend and guard to me… I’d take a margay if I couldn’t get my ocelot. It might be annoying to find a cat sitting on top of my doorway every morning. The main difference is that margays can climb like a MFer and supposedly their ankle joints can turn 180 degrees. Beholders look cool, but you have to consider that they’re always lawful evil, and can turn you to stone. Just like you spay and neuter your cats, you might want to chop off some eyestalks just in case. > [@Meurglys](#): > > I’d love to have a tapir! In theory I’d prefer one of the [b&w Malayan](http://www.flickr.com/photos/17270214@N05/3308598051/in/set-72157615941611109/) ones, but they’re probably a bit big and hard to control, so I’d probably settle for one of the [American species](http://www.flickr.com/photos/skoop102/1483811987/in/pool-tapirs), even if they do look a little plainer… > Fantasy critter? A ground sloth or a glyptodont! Fantasy, eh? I guess [these](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9b/Paramylodon_harlani_p1350719.jpg) [skeletons](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7a/Panochthus_frenzelianus.jpg) were put on earth by God to test us, huh? > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Unicorn. > > /thread You won’t get much acceptance for that choice from some. But maybe it can [help you like this](http://media.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/117213/1042501.gif). I think you might need to be a virgin to ride it, though. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/45 "2010-06-18T15:35:10Z")
What the fuck is it about a unicorn that people like? It’s just a horse with a pointy thing on its head. ---
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/46 "2010-06-18T15:38:18Z")
I’d want a sabertooth cat. I’ll need a bigger litter box, though. And a pet blue whale. We could travel the oceans together, and I could ride high in the air on his spout, right? Yeah, that’d be cool!😃 But if you restrict me to the mundane real world, I’d really like a de-scented skunk. **tr0psn4j** , even if it was the tamest beast in the world, I’d want it de-scented. I’ve had a dog or two that came home after messing with a wild skunk. There is no way in the world I would want even a well-behaved and tame, but fully armed, skunk in the house. Accidents happen, man.:eek: ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/47 "2010-06-18T15:46:53Z")
[Slow loris](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLdQ3UhLoD4) and I would tickle her like that. ---
**Author:** ![Meurglys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/258eb7/32.png) [@Meurglys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meurglys)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/48 "2010-06-18T15:58:06Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > Fantasy, eh? I guess [these](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9b/Paramylodon_harlani_p1350719.jpg) [skeletons](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7a/Panochthus_frenzelianus.jpg) were put on earth by God to test us, huh?. A fantasy to own one because they’re extinct; not that they didn’t exist! A book I read one time featured some megafauna that hadn’t died out; the protagonist had a baby glyptodont which he used as a footstool sometimes - until it would wake up and wander away! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/49 "2010-06-18T18:48:41Z")
> [@tr0psn4j](#): > > What the fuck is it about a unicorn that people like? It’s just a horse with a pointy thing on its head. Well, no, it’s not. Even if it’s been dehorned, a unicorn has a distinctly different body type and behavior than a horse, traditionally. It’s very symbolic of several things. Also, a unicorn’s horn is the universal proof against poison, and supposedly it doesn’t have to be detached from the unicorn to work. In the computer game Beyond Zork, kissing the unicorn’s horn will raise your Luck. Since you’ll run across luck suckers later in the game, it’s always good to have a high Luck stat. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/50 "2010-06-18T19:00:33Z")
I always liked the organ grinder monkeys. They are so tiny and smart. They trained them to do all sorts of things. I’d love having one. ---
**Author:** ![Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/22d042/32.png) [@Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heavy)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/51 "2010-06-18T22:29:24Z")
A black mini schaunzer is the best dog and friend of ALL. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/52 "2010-06-18T22:44:54Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > I always liked the organ grinder monkeys. They are so tiny and smart. They trained them to do all sorts of things. I’d love having one. Ask for an Italian and you get two pets for the price of one! ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/53 "2010-06-18T22:48:50Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > I always liked the organ grinder monkeys. They are so tiny and smart. They trained them to do all sorts of things. I’d love having one. Right, I’ve changed my mind. I want a pick-pocketing tiny monkey that I can pay in peanuts. ---
**Author:** ![SevenOfTeemingMillions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@SevenOfTeemingMillions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SevenOfTeemingMillions)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/54 "2010-06-19T07:35:54Z")
> [@tr0psn4j](#): > > What the fuck is it about a unicorn that people like? It’s just a horse with a pointy thing on its head. lol It’s probably the magic associated with unicorns that they’re after. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/55 "2010-06-19T14:34:58Z")
Not necessarily. I don’t automatically think ‘magic’ when I think unicorn. I just see them as a beautiful horse with a little something extra. I once wrote a fantasy piece where they were just that, very intelligent, loyal horses. I would LOVE to have one of _my_ unicorns. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/56 "2010-06-19T14:38:12Z")
A unicorn is very desirable for those of a female persuasion, as they can hang their shopping on its horn. Now, a unicorn with antlers… that’d be the ultimate pet of choice, I bet. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/57 "2010-06-19T18:50:09Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > Ask for an Italian and you get two pets for the price of one! \*\*Moderator note: \*\*Please write your jokes about something else, preferably not based on demeaning racial or ethnic stereotypes. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/58 "2010-06-19T19:56:25Z")
Dragon. Any breed will do, as long as it’s intelligent and non-evil (Ok, only slightly evil is acceptable.) ---
**Author:** ![PeacePlease](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/71c47a/32.png) [@PeacePlease](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeacePlease)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/59 "2010-06-19T23:50:56Z")
Definitely a dolphin (should I ever live on the ocean); a monkey (house-trained of course to use the bathroom like the rest of us) and/or a Bengal tiger (should I ever have a ranch)!!! I’ve also always been fascinated with those tiny pigs they engineer. I always thought that would be a cool pet. As a non-pet owner, apartment dweller, I would just like to someday have a damn dog!!! ---
**Author:** ![Beerman1963](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2acd7d/32.png) [@Beerman1963](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beerman1963)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2010, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594/60 "2010-06-20T03:37:26Z")
When I was a kid I wanted a Manta Ray. Then I read a sci-fi book where the good guy a had a pair of Wolverines as pets/guardians/hunters and changed my mind very quickly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-animal-would-you-have-as-a-pet/543594.md?page=4)