# What anonymous act would you commit? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 2, 2002, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070 "2002-08-02T20:04:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2002, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/1 "2002-08-02T20:04:29Z")
If you could do one thing, with the ironclad guarantee that **no one** would ever find out that you were in any way connected to it (unless you choose to tell them), what would it be? I would paint an entire building in bright colors that would never come off. Imagine some big corporation in green, reds and orange? Maybe some glow in the dark paint? Or I’d subtly change an entire week’s worth of newspaper but putting in some odd storiesfnord or pictures. ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/2 "2002-08-03T06:25:42Z")
MURDER Or - launch a spaceship with a giant sign made of aluminium on it, and the spaceship circles around the Earth and when people look up they will see (day or night) a galactic billboard saying “SHUT UP”. This is my dream. Make it my future! ---
**Author:** ![Ssarl\_the\_happy\_Martian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Ssarl\_the\_happy\_Martian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ssarl_the_happy_Martian)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/3 "2002-08-03T06:35:58Z")
Spend an entire day running around town naked; and donate one billion dollars to a whole bunch of worthy charities… ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/4 "2002-08-03T06:49:51Z")
I’d like to donate an obscene amount of money to my favorite charity. Unfortunately, I can’t – anonymously or otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Mephisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@Mephisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mephisto)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/5 "2002-08-03T07:05:21Z")
I’d get revenge. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/6 "2002-08-03T07:33:28Z")
Beat the living daylights out of a guy who made my life miserable in college. ---
**Author:** ![Pythagoras](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@Pythagoras](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pythagoras)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/7 "2002-08-03T07:36:42Z")
Id fart on someone famous at a time that would make it really really funny. “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” (fart) hehehe ---
**Author:** ![taggert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/96bed5/32.png) [@taggert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taggert)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/8 "2002-08-03T07:44:00Z")
I would post on the SDMB. But I’m not very daring. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/9 "2002-08-03T10:51:20Z")
I’ve thought and thought and thought and honestly can’t think of anything to do. Maybe, just MAYBE, fall asleep naked on my patio but then I’d probably get cold real quick, although that cool breeze in all the right places would be nice for awhile. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/10 "2002-08-03T11:39:29Z")
I can think of a few people who, in years past, I’d have been almost orgasmic at the chance to mess with their lives and not get caught. But I think my time is worth more than that now, so I’ll go with pantsing either Stockwell Day or Jesse Helms. Embarassing, childish, pointless, and funny:) ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/11 "2002-08-03T12:07:31Z")
iampunha, you’ve opened my eyes. I think I should now like to scrawl upon the roof over Saddam Hussein’s bed, while he’s sleeping, in big wet red paint “We’re coming to get you!” There are other people whom I dislike more but I imagine his bedroom is an extremely secure place where no one could simply walk in while he’s asleep and paint in big sloppy letters something right above his bed. It would really freak him out. Especially if I follow him around for a few weeks doing it over and over whenever he lets his guard down. On the inside of his glasses. On the new romance novel he’s writing. Good fun I’m sure. ---
**Author:** ![nahtanoj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@nahtanoj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nahtanoj)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/12 "2002-08-03T14:46:37Z")
This might be more of “an anonymous act where I wouldn’t get caught and had the power to perform” but: Option 1: Cause an earthquake that would crack open Yucca mountain. Option 2: Melt one of the polar ice-caps. Option 3: Split the Alaska oil pipeline. . . . . Well, I could think of many more, but I basically just want to humble all those in power into re-considering their priorities away from the money-power schemes. Not that it would ever happen… nahtanoj ---
**Author:** ![Eran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Eran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eran)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/13 "2002-08-03T14:56:58Z")
So you want to convince people that it’s wrong to cause environmental damage in the name of profits by . . . causing environmental damage for free? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/14 "2002-08-03T22:37:25Z")
Assassinations, assassinations, and even more assassinations. Or, break into the control room of some Televangelists’ broadcasting center, and replace the outgoing video feed with a film of one of Hitler’s speeches. But I’d leave the regular audio feed alone. THAT’d raise a few eyebrows. \>:) Ranchoth ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/15 "2002-08-03T22:48:04Z")
So television evangelists are the more equivalent of a monster who caused the deaths of 12 million people. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/16 "2002-08-03T23:02:45Z")
I’d do the same thing the judge wanted to do. Put a huge pair of moustache glasses on the Statue Of Liberty. ---
**Author:** ![Squish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/17 "2002-08-03T23:16:21Z")
This is way I would want to be a vampire… I would kill every \*#(@ creep who hurt an animal. ---
**Author:** ![loupdebois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e495f1/32.png) [@loupdebois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/loupdebois)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2002, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/18 "2002-08-04T01:25:05Z")
Track down a few of the people who I know to be rapists, but can’t prove to a court, and beat the living tar out of them until my knuckles wore out. More for my personal satisfaction than because it’d do the world any good, but I’d rather get caught for good deeds… ---
**Author:** ![Sivalensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Sivalensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sivalensis)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2002, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/19 "2002-08-04T04:02:38Z")
Siphon off Saddam’s weapons budget (he’s not using it for his people anyway as far as I know…) and use it for rainforest and primate preservation ---
**Author:** ![WV\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@WV\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WV_Woman)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2002, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070/20 "2002-08-04T04:20:28Z")
Pay off a friend’s debts. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-anonymous-act-would-you-commit/122070.md?page=2)