# What are our cultural hang-ups? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 16, 2011, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796 "2011-10-16T04:53:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/1 "2011-10-16T04:53:27Z")
You often hear that when you visit this country or that that you must do x or y or risk offending your hosts. I’d like to know what non-anglophone/western folks would suggest that people from their part of the world need to know about Anglo-Americans (inc. Canada, Ireland, NZ, Australia etc.) in order not to offend us. What rituals seem silly out yonder that are useful for getting by in London, Dublin, NY, Auckland, Melbourne, Burlington etc? ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/2 "2011-10-16T05:15:10Z")
It’s my impression that even people from other English speaking countries are sometimes confused by or skeptical about American tipping practices. When I was living in Japan there were many times when people who were trying to adhere to Western customs for my sake actually overcorrected and did things that were kind of weird, like shaking hands in situations that didn’t call for a handshake. There were other cases that were less clear cut, and I’m not sure whether people were behaving in a way that was considered appropriate in Japan or if they were attempting to do things the Western way and missed the mark. For instance, people were _constantly_ asking me if I had a boyfriend. It also seemed like the Japanese commented on the physical appearance (things like body type and weight, not clothing) of others a lot more than would be considered polite in the US. I have heard from Chinese-American friends that in China people will not hesitate to point out that you’ve gained weight and in fact are looking very fat, something that definitely would not go over well in the US. ---
**Author:** ![leahcim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@leahcim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leahcim)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/3 "2011-10-16T05:34:32Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > I have heard from Chinese-American friends that in China people will not hesitate to point out that you’ve gained weight and in fact are looking very fat, something that definitely would not go over well in the US. I’ve heard Mexican women doing that, too (I put on 10 measly pounds. geez!) The two big ones I’ve heard of are personal space issues (some cultures stand closer/farther than others when talking to other people and not being in the customary range is off-putting), and not haggling in stores. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/4 "2011-10-16T06:02:47Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > I have heard from Chinese-American friends that in China people will not hesitate to point out that you’ve gained weight and in fact are looking very fat, something that definitely would not go over well in the US. Sorry but I mean the opposite way around. You think it weird that Chinese folk will say you’ve gained weight but what is it that you as an American do that they have to adjust to? Maybe the question is too broad, but you often hear of a particular ritual you have to follow in order to get along in various countries. ---
**Author:** ![Terr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Terr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terr)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/5 "2011-10-16T06:14:38Z")
Americans look at your face when they talk to you. In a lot of cultures that’s considered rude. Americans smile a lot, for no reason. For some cultures that’s very weird. ---
**Author:** ![Dinaroozie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Dinaroozie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinaroozie)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/6 "2011-10-16T06:19:36Z")
I gather that some places are more comfortable with physical contact with non-romantically-involved men - perhaps that would qualify? That is to say, if you’re from a place where male friends hold hands regularly, adjusting to a culture where that’s weird/not on/prone to be misread might be surprising. The tip thing is definitely a good one (and one that I’ve had personal experience with) - or, to put it in the OP’s terms, ‘not tipping’ is something that other cultures do that they have to get used to not being allowed to do in the US. 🙂 And finally, one that I was sure I read somewhere, and then when I went looking for a cite I ended up back to the dope. [According to Cecil, the whole ‘cousins shouldn’t be romantically involved’ thing is mostly an American thing](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2564/whats-wrong-with-cousins-marrying), and it could indeed sound pretty strange to someone from outside. I can imagine that a married pair of cousins from a country where that is encouraged would be taken by surprise at the negative reactions to it. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/7 "2011-10-16T06:20:57Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > Americans look at your face when they talk to you. In a lot of cultures that’s considered rude. > > Americans smile a lot, for no reason. For some cultures that’s very weird. I think that this is part of the reason that the French have a reputation for rudeness in America. We (Americans) smile in order to put someone at easy, and may drop into a folksy, friendly manner to indicate that we’re pleased to meet someone and there’s no reason to be stressed or worried. It seems to me that the French (especially Parisians) are more likely to fall back on formalities to ensure that they’re being as polite as possible, which comes off as cold and unfriendly to an American. ---
**Author:** ![Terr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Terr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terr)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/8 "2011-10-16T06:23:05Z")
Another thing - quite often, in informal settings, Americans (well, American men) may put their feet up in a way that the soles of their shoes point at someone. In several cultures that’s an incredibly insulting thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/9 "2011-10-16T06:54:03Z")
Blowing one’s nose in public is considered absolutely disgusting in many Asian cultures. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/10 "2011-10-16T07:10:19Z")
Ok seriously was my OP that bad? I’m asking what is it that “foreigners” (ie non-anglo americans for want of a better term) need to know about Britain and the US so as not to offend the locals? The only one so far has been the tipping thing, although that’s only a thing AFAIK in the US and not elsewhere in the Anglosphere. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/11 "2011-10-16T07:13:59Z")
I think America has much stronger prohibitions on smoking than most countries do. Non-Americans might light up a cigarette in a setting where an American would not. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/12 "2011-10-16T07:25:03Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Blowing one’s nose in public is considered absolutely disgusting in many Asian cultures. What is considered disgusting in Britain that people from another country might not be aware of? ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/13 "2011-10-16T07:27:23Z")
> [@An\_Gadai](#): > > The only one so far has been the tipping thing, although that’s only a thing AFAIK in the US and not elsewhere in the Anglosphere. Someone mentioned commenting on personal appearance, which is one, as well as other comments/questions that would be considered too personal here but not necessarily elsewhere, such as how much money you make or how much you paid for certain things. I understand in some cultures it is very common to ask someone how much this or that cost them or how much they pay in rent, but here that can be rude (depending on context - maybe not if you know the person really well). ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/14 "2011-10-16T07:28:12Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I think America has much stronger prohibitions on smoking than most countries do. Non-Americans might light up a cigarette in a setting where an American would not. Another good example. Here in Ireland now it’s considered a faux pas to light up a cigarette in a private residence unless explicitly told beforehand it’s ok. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/15 "2011-10-16T07:43:29Z")
> [@An\_Gadai](#): > > What is considered disgusting in Britain that people from another country might not be aware of? Horse meat perhaps? Limeys love their gee-gees. An Gadai, In Ireland, is it common to refuse an offer of food/beverage/gift a few times before accepting it? Is it rude to accept it on the first offer? ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/16 "2011-10-16T08:37:08Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > I think that this is part of the reason that the French have a reputation for rudeness in America. We (Americans) smile in order to put someone at easy, and may drop into a folksy, friendly manner to indicate that we’re pleased to meet someone and there’s no reason to be stressed or worried. It seems to me that the French (especially Parisians) are more likely to fall back on formalities to ensure that they’re being as polite as possible, which comes off as cold and unfriendly to an American. Americans will also strike conversations with strangers quite casually. Around these parts (France), it’s considered pretty darn forward and/or obnoxious. What I mean is, an American person will start talking to you like they know you to break the awkwardness of a long plane trip next to a complete stranger. A French person will keep their trap shut and do their utmost to ignore you to break the awkwardness of a long plane trip next to a complete stranger. But of course, you put them next to each other and they’ll soon both feel most awkward 😉 [QUOTE=Dinaroozie] I gather that some places are more comfortable with physical contact with non-romantically-involved men - perhaps that would qualify? That is to say, if you’re from a place where male friends hold hands regularly, adjusting to a culture where that’s weird/not on/prone to be misread might be surprising. [/QUOTE] There’s a lot of hugging in American culture. That was a bit weird to me when I spent time there. We don’t hug much outside of romantic relationships and particularly severe grief/trauma/what have you. Then there was that time I was introduced to a young lady and without thinking moved to peck her on the cheeks, as is done here to say hello to women. A horrified look, step back and hand held at arm’s length quickly reminded me y’all don’t do that. Awkwaaard 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/17 "2011-10-16T09:45:05Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > Horse meat perhaps? Limeys love their gee-gees. Is that a joke? We don’t. The French do, and possibly other continental European countries, but we’re really squeamish and sentimental about horsemeat. **An Gadai** , here’s one: part of the morning ritual of many east Asian cultures is to clear the throat of phlegm. It is the most disgusting sound I’ve ever heard, a deep cchhhhchhchchchchhcchhhhh retching noise that goes on for ages, the kind of thing our mothers would have slapped us for. There it’s akin to brushing your teeth, and happens at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/18 "2011-10-16T09:55:21Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Is that a joke? We don’t. The French do, and possibly other continental European countries, but we’re really squeamish and sentimental about horsemeat. Gadai asked “What is considered disgusting in Britain that people from another country might not be aware of?” Horsemeat is considered disgusting or offensive, right? When I said that you love horses, I meant live horses. Why are you squeamish and sentimental about horsemeat? ---
**Author:** ![\_Olive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/4af34b/32.png) [@\_Olive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Olive)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/19 "2011-10-16T10:04:35Z")
hawaii has its own set of rules … never wear your shoes inside a house … never park your butt on the top of a picnic table … never eat with your fingers unless the host does … always bring a small gift for the host … do not bring chips and dip to a potluck … ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796/20 "2011-10-16T11:01:26Z")
I guess Americans have a hangup about discussing their personal incomes or weight. Probably anything that could be construed as racist or culturally insensitive constitutes a hangup as well, from the perspective of someone coming in from outside the US. It’s probably cultural subgroups that have the biggest hangups. There are probably more definite no-nos to keep in mind when you’re visiting a Christian household, a black household, and so on. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-our-cultural-hang-ups/599796.md?page=2)