ACK! Don’t DO THAT! :eek:
(Of course, it gives me a way to make the afternoon pass a little faster now… 
. It’s probably bad that I imagine all of these scenarios like a movie in my head, huh?).
And oh, yeah, today I got a long discourse on her dental insurance. And her ex’s dental insurance. And the massage she’s getting this afternoon and whether or not she has to take off her clothes for it.
I should start a blog.
E.
Potential American Idol contestant.
E.
I had a boss who would invent conversations he had with you. And that acted annoyed when you had know idea what he was talking about.
Him - “Have you done X yet?”
Me - “No. You haven’t mentioned it. What exactly is it you would like me to do?”
Him - “I’m not going through it again. We discussed it yesterday afternoon.”
Me - “On my day off?..”
I think we have the same Boss. Mine does this constantly.
I image some of my co-workers would nominate me in this thread for screaming when certain people try to get physical with me. If I say" No" and you still put your hands on me, you are breaking the law and deserve whatever you get. A good scream in the ear is diddly compared to what you can do.
Your boss wanted you to try an illegal drug? :eek:
That’s pretty funny! My BIL does this sometimes to be funny and once someone starts doing this it’s almost impossible to stop.
Hee. I’m not quite that bad, but a few of my “extracurricular activities” included:
Gluing googly eyes in the "O"s on my boss’s desk nameplate.
Setting up a ballot box and voting scheme to give another boss the middle name he didn’t get at birth.
On my co-worker’s 40th, (different company) setting up a ballot box and voting scheme to rechristen her so she could have a fun new start to life.
I guess I might be the weird one! :eek:
Very minor, but we have a 40-ish woman who lives alone whose parents call her EVERY morning to make sure she got to work OK, and I think she lives a half mile from the job.
We also had this guy who sat by the copier and every time someone would go to make copies, he would make up these hilarous take-offs of the persons name…
The work really hard.
We had a woman working here who literally would not do anything to help anyone. Someone come in to pick up an envelope that I had left on my desk with his name written in bright marker? I had to come down to my desk and give it to him. Pick up the phone when all five lines are ringing? “That’s not my job.” Hand me some paper when I’m running computer reports for you? “I don’t see any paper.”
She got canned.
My co-worker has a bad habit of being vague. All the time.
Him: “Hi Ywtf. Did you get the thing from Jeff?”
Me (staring blankly while trying in vain to figure out what the hell he’s talking about): “Um, what thing? Jeff who?”
or
Him: “Hey, are you going to the thing today?”
Me (racking my brain once again): “What thing?!”
It’s such a petty complaint, but oh how this irritates me. Can he not see that I’m not a mind reader? And since so many of our conversations go just like these examples, when is it going to dawn on him that when he’s dealing with me, precision is the key? Because “thing” just ain’t cutting it.
The scary part about my job right now is that we are working so intently on a narrow range of things, that we actually understand what others mean by things like “So, how did that turn out?” or “What did he say?” with no other context.
I do this all the time - but I keep it inside…
I hope…
They all sound like good ideas to me. Then again, I’m the one who turned the VP’s annual speech into a drinking game last year.
One of my coworkers keeps a list of every incorrect name she’s ever been called over the phone, with the heading “The Evil Twin Working Today Is:” with one or more Post-It flags marking that day’s name(s).
It started with just one name that she was consistently mis-called, who she designated her Evil Twin, and it was a name similar enough in pronunciation that the mistake was understandable with a poor connection, or a person not paying attention. Then a 2nd incorrect name was added to the rotation, which sounded nothing like her real name or the original Evil Twin name, and got designated as the Evil Twin’s Evil Twin. Now it’s up to 6 or 7 names.
Ah, yes.
Nouns. Nouns are good. Full of sweet crunchy nouny goodness. Preach it.
I remembered another one. Two women in one of our departments, who do similar jobs (admin/accounting), haven’t spoken directly to one another for 13 years. Apparently one is mad at the other for an affair the other had with another dept member. Somehow they have divvied up the accounts they are responsible for so you go to one or the other, and if they have to communicate, they triangulate it through a third co-worker. Yes, their boss should do something. Yes, he told HR to handle it. No, they haven’t.