Some poor people are smart and lucky enough that they are almost at the brink of not being poor, but their lives have not given them the right education they need to make it over the edge into a comfortable lifestyle.
I know someone who was raised poor. Brought up in the projects, went to crappy schools, received free lunch, etc. But she was a smart kid and stayed on the straight-and-narrow. She got a scholarship to college and was able to leave the “hood”. She told me she struggled in school, because although she’s smart, her education hadn’t prepared her well. And like many college students, she got snookered by credit card companies and racked up some debt. But she still managed to get internships and graduate, and then get employed by the state. She had officially “made it”, for a poor kid from a single-parent houshold.
She was making an okay living, but she wanted the full-fledged American Dream. Which means buying a house, usually. She upgraded her job so she could get a better salary and save up for a decent downpayment on a house. Her criteria were simple…maybe too simple. She basically just wanted a house in the city so she could take public transportation to work. She found one that she liked, even though it’s in a not-so-safe part of town and it’s really old. She qualified for a special program for first-time homeowners, so she didn’t have to put down too much money for it. And then she was able to use some of the money she had saved up to fix the place up.
So far, so good.
But for some reason, that wasn’t enough. She got suckered into buying a time share. She convinced her mother to partner up with her, despite knowing that her mother was bad with money. But she figured together they’d be able to pull it off and reap whatever benefits come with a time share (I still don’t know what they are and I don’t think she did either).
She thought wrong. Her mother “helps” her out when she can with the fees, which is maybe twice a year, even though they were supposed to go 50/50 on this venture.
She still has the house, but she doesn’t have money to get the squirrels out of the attic, or to fix the leaky ceiling in her utility room, or the myriad of other repairs her house needs. Her house isn’t very insulated (the squirrels’ handiwork probably doesn’t help), so her heating and AC costs are expensive. It’s August and she just finished paying her heating bill from last winter. She has no savings–just her falling-apart house and a time share she never uses since she never goes anywhere. She told me that if something catastrophic were to happen, she would be lost.
So she’s in a bad situation. Everyone who works with her knows about it, because she’s constantly telling us about it. And yet here’s the thing: she’s always got nice microwavable stuff from Trader Joe’s for lunch, along with huge heaping bowls of fruit–usually multiple kinds. Most people are fine with just an orange or a banana, but she’s got to have bing cherries with kiwis with other stuff you can’t even pronounce. She’s very much into good nutrition, so she spends serious dough for high-quality foods. She scoffs whenever you mention buying “store-brand” anything. My lunches, which are very simple affairs (usually cheese toast with a banana) look like prison slop compared to hers. And then once she told me she’s got 300 pairs of underwear. She no doubt has a similar number of shoes. She gets her hair done every two weeks (you don’t need a touch-up that often unless you’ve got kudzu for hair). She told me she has no savings and is basically living paycheck-to-paycheck, but I don’t see her acting like she is. Of course, when she complains about being fat and you suggest joining the Y, she cites poverty as an excuse. And don’t dare mention walking around the neighborhood. It’s too dangerous, she says. I don’t doubt that it’s too dangerous for her liking, but if she had waited a few years before buying an old house in a bad neighborhood, she could have gotten a newer place in a nicer part of town where one could go for walks. And maybe find a man who isn’t, in her words, a “thug.” Just saying…
So I don’t know what’s going to happen to her. Maybe one day someone will release her from her burdensome time share, she’ll be able fix her attic, and she will be able to save some money. I don’t think she’s an irresponsible person, just naive. But I think her upbringing in a low-income household, with a mother who isn’t that educated in the ways of the world, didn’t do her any favors.
My best friend has a little boy with quite severe autism - he’s been in a special placement school since he was about 2.5 (or 3 maybe) and while she was heartbroken to be sending her 3 year old to school 5 days a week, the progress he has made since going there has been remarkable. He still has good days and bad days, and is still sort of ‘odd’ however, the relationships he has with his parents and sibling have improved 10 fold and when my husband go and visit he’s like a different little person.