# What are some of your favorite quotes from comedies? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 11, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074 "2010-05-11T18:10:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/41 "2010-05-12T06:01:33Z")
“Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!” “The Germans?” “Forget it; he’s rolling.” from Animal House ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/42 "2010-05-12T07:03:59Z")
You had me at “dicks fuck assholes”. ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/43 "2010-05-12T08:34:00Z")
From “ **The man who came to dinner** ” My great aunt Jennifer ate a whole box of candy every day of her life. She lived to be 102, and when she had been dead three days, she looked better than you do now. Go in and read the life of Florence Nightingale and learn how unfitted you are for your chosen profession. Will you take your clammy hand off my chair? You have the touch of a love-starved cobra. Nurse Preen: Mr. Whiteside, I can only be in one place at a time. Sheridan Whiteside: That’s very fortunate for this community. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/44 "2010-05-12T11:58:59Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > “Tell these pigs to _fuck off!_” > “Fuck off, pigs.” “You heard me. Fuck. Off.” ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/45 "2010-05-12T12:00:27Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > COP: This might be the stupidest person in the world. Perhaps we should shoot him. > > – _Ruthless People_ “I hate the way she, she… _licks stamps_!” ---
**Author:** ![Lethal\_Babydoll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3be4f8/32.png) [@Lethal\_Babydoll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lethal_Babydoll)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/46 "2010-05-12T12:02:52Z")
“Oh, you were finished. Well allow me to retort.” **Pulp Fiction** , the great American comedy ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/47 "2010-05-12T12:05:55Z")
“I don’t tip.” Mr. Pink, **Reservoir Dogs** ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/48 "2010-05-12T12:15:40Z")
“Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face.” ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/49 "2010-05-12T12:21:58Z")
“Get that corn out of my face!” ---
**Author:** ![Chum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3ab097/32.png) [@Chum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chum)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/50 "2010-05-12T12:27:09Z")
Judith: Have you ever fantasized about having sex with a man? JD: You mean like a tall man? _Saving Silverman_ ---
**Author:** ![dobieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@dobieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dobieman)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/51 "2010-05-12T14:13:47Z")
From a great movie of the ‘60s’, a horror spoof starring Karloff, Lorre, and Rathbone, “Comedy of Terrors” wherein Rathbone, a 18th Century character, is plagued by narcolepsy and keeps waking up in a coffin after being presumed dead again and again. He intones in that deep, rich, rolling voice of his a wondering and slowly cadenced, “What dark place is this?!” ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/52 "2010-05-12T14:50:46Z")
Not really funny, even in context, but both of these, from _Mallrats_, somehow crack me up every time: “You tell him, Steve-Dave!” and “Damn. That guy runs faster than Walt Flannigan’s dog.” ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/53 "2010-05-12T15:01:23Z")
From an incredibily unsung movie (Jim Belushi is actually really funny in it): Bob: I didn’t know you smoked. Nick: Just after sex, Bob. I’m trying to give it up. Bob: Well, at least you don’t smoke that much. Nick: About a pack a day. Bob: That’ll kill ya! Nick: Bob, it won’t kill ya. But it will make you very sore. - _Real Men_ ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/54 "2010-05-12T15:01:47Z")
MILES: In six months, we’ll be stealing **Erno’s** nose! – _Sleeper_ ---
**Author:** ![Webner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/0ea827/32.png) [@Webner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Webner)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/55 "2010-05-12T15:14:06Z")
From _Animal House_. After ruining Faber’s homecoming parade, the Delta guys are about to crash a car into bleachers where the Dean and the mayor and their families are sitting. Dean Vernon Wormer: “I hate those guys.” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/56 "2010-05-12T15:14:28Z")
“Lighten up, Francis.” ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/57 "2010-05-12T15:22:12Z")
Warren: Why don’t you go shove 'em up your ass? Lucas: …Because it would hurt a lot, Warren. Warren: Stop calling me Warren! My name isn’t FUCKING WARREN! Eddie: His name isn’t Warren. Corey: His name isn’t Warren. Berko: His name isn’t Warren. Mark: I thought his name was Warren? Gina: Attention Rex Manning fans, to your left you will notice a shoplifter being chased by night manager, Lucas. This young man will be caught, deep fried in a vat of hot oil and served to our first hundred customers. Just another tasty treat from the gang at Empire Records. Gina: Oh now, Debra, don’t be bitter, surely with your ever growing collection of flesh mutilating silver appendages and your brand new neo-nazi boot camp makeover the boys will come a-runnin’. A.J.: What’s with you? Yesterday you were normal and today you’re like the Chinese guy from the Karate Kid. What’s with you today? Lucas: What’s with today today? _Empire Records_ yes - I quote these a lot - or key parts of them. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/58 "2010-05-12T15:33:24Z")
Which reminds me … Warren: Who glued these quarters down? A.J.: I did. Warren: What the hell for, man? A.J.: I don’t feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren. ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/59 "2010-05-12T15:52:27Z")
“Wha…t does the yellllllllllllow light meannnnnnnnnnnnnnn?” ~ Reverend Jim Ignatowski on Taxi. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074/60 "2010-05-12T16:52:47Z")
“Thanks, Mr. Martin.” “Please, call me Mr. _Steve_ Martin.” “Thanks, Mr. _Steve_ Martin.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-of-your-favorite-quotes-from-comedies/539074.md?page=4)