# What are some things that you absolutely cannot have someone else do for you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 7, 2025, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592 "2025-07-07T15:02:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/21 "2025-07-08T04:56:55Z")
> [@JohnGalt](#): > > Mourn your loved ones when they die; you can’t pay someone to do that for you. > **[Professional mourning](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Professional_mourning)** > > Professional mourning or paid mourning is a type of public performance in which actors pretend to grieve for the recently deceased, with the goal of being indistinguishable from real mourners. As an occupation it originates from Egyptian, Chinese, Mediterranean and Near Eastern cultures. Professional mourners, also called wailers, moirologists, or mutes, are compensated to lament or deliver a eulogy and help comfort and entertain the grieving family, or to improve the public spectacle of the Mo... ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/22 "2025-07-08T06:12:27Z")
Yep. I was gonna say “die”. Someone to puke for you would be nice, tho’ ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/23 "2025-07-08T15:42:25Z")
A lot of these things, the super-rich can in fact, bypass. For instance: > [@griffin1977](#): > > Specifically drug and alcohol tests for legal purposes, which would obviously have a much more pressing reason to have someone do it on your behalf A drug test for what? An employer? Who needs one of those? > [@zimaane](#): > > Serving in the armed forces, at least recently. Cushy National Guard posting that’ll never actually see combat. > [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > Go through airport security. What do you need an airport for? Your private helicopter lands right on your roof. ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/24 "2025-07-08T15:44:43Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > A drug test for what? An employer? Who needs one of those? I was thinking of the court mandated tests after a DUI or drug conviction ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/25 "2025-07-08T15:51:27Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > > [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > > > Go through airport security. > > What do you need an airport for? Your private helicopter lands right on your roof. How about security checkpoints at sports venues? (Even the super-rich aren’t renting the Mets and Yankees to play private exhibition games at their homes.) ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/26 "2025-07-08T16:20:03Z")
Many of the things listed above would not need to apply to the very rich. My Butler would manage the household. My Valet would take care that I am always dressed appropriately and bring me my morning tea. The Chauffeur takes care of the cars and drives. The helicopter is leased with a maintenance agreement, and the pilot and staff are included as required. The same applies to my private bizjet. When I go to a sports event or an entertainment venue, it will be as a VIP shareholder. When travelling, naturally, key staff would travel with me to ensure that all my needs are taken care of. I suppose that there would be some tedious admin to take care of - my will might be an important case in point, but for the most part, the legal team I have on retainer would take care of and legal problems. ---
**Author:** ![xtenkfarpl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c2a13f/32.png) [@xtenkfarpl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xtenkfarpl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/27 "2025-07-08T16:21:03Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > How about security checkpoints at sports venues? (Even the super-rich aren’t renting the Mets and Yankees to play private exhibition games at their homes. You (through appropriate levels of cut-outs etc) _own_ the company that runs the security checks. One of your staff utters the magic phrase “son, do you know who you are talking to?”… ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/28 "2025-07-08T16:32:54Z")
Actually, some airports have VIP service, perhaps at additional cost. I think LAX does. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/29 "2025-07-08T16:35:07Z")
Also the CLEAR security thing at the airport can also be used at some stadiums. It costs $200 or so per year. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/30 "2025-07-08T16:48:50Z")
> [@bob\_2](#): > > When travelling, naturally, key staff would travel with me to ensure that all my needs are taken care of. Of course, you would need to consult the concierge for such services that, were you at home, you would address not to your valet but to your majordomo. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/31 "2025-07-08T17:41:10Z")
Nobody else can learn for you. ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/32 "2025-07-08T18:25:59Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > you would need to consult the concierge for such services that, were you at home, you would address not to your valet but to your majordomo. Majordomo is not a position found here. My butler may ask a concierge for assistance, but I am not sure why they would need to. > [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Nobody else can learn for you. Having acquired enormous wealth (maybe by inheritance), I have no need for “learning”, although I would naturally gain knowledge by observation. ---
**Author:** ![kitap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@kitap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitap)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2025, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/33 "2025-07-08T18:42:37Z")
No one else can snuggle with a kitty for me. ---
**Author:** ![Tj54](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tj54/32/17945_2.png) [@Tj54](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tj54)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2025, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/34 "2025-07-09T03:45:37Z")
I had a friend who lived in Omaha many years ago and he once encountered Warren Buffett at the DMV. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2025, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/35 "2025-07-09T06:44:56Z")
I can think of loads of bodily things another cannot do for you. Some grosser than others. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2025, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/36 "2025-07-09T13:11:46Z")
From what I gather, Warren Buffett is the sort who, even though he could avoid doing things like that, chooses to continue to do them anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2025, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/37 "2025-07-09T13:16:01Z")
Sleep. Belch. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2025, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/38 "2025-07-09T13:32:40Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Nobody else can learn for you But you can get the effective results of learning by employing the people who did learn things. Tell them what ideas you need, and then take their advice when they give it. Kings have had court advisors for thousands of years for just this sort of things. So long as you don’t pull a Donald Trump and assume you know more than anyone else, you should get along fine. ---
**Author:** ![Frilly\_Heck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/90ced4/32.png) [@Frilly\_Heck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frilly_Heck)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2025, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/39 "2025-07-10T00:05:13Z")
> [@Jaycat.again](#): > > Walking that Lonesome Valley I guess you could pay someone to listen to great music for you, but what a shame that’d be. https://www.youtube.com/embed/TZA_IvlPFWI?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque&list=RDTZA_IvlPFWI ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2025, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592/40 "2025-07-27T00:11:42Z")
> [@Marvin\_the\_Martian](#): > > Although a personal chef and personal trainer would make this a lot easier… And someone whose only job was to slap the cookie from your hand. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-some-things-that-you-absolutely-cannot-have-someone-else-do-for-you/1020592.md?page=3)