# What are the best titles? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 5, 2000, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118 "2000-12-05T09:25:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/1 "2000-12-05T09:25:44Z")
For a while now I’ve been meaning to compile a list of things that I think have cool titles. So here goes: “Atlas Shrugged”-book by Ayn Rand “Soul On Ice”-book by Eldridge Cleaver “A Streetcar Named Desire”-movie starring Marlon Brando More as I think of them. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/2 "2000-12-05T10:09:30Z")
Sorry, I must have been reading too many ‘Celebrity Jeopardy’ threads. I read your topic line as “What are the best titties?” Sorry. Anyway, _Reality is What You Can Get Away With_, by Robert A. Wilson. _Coin Locker Babies_ by Ryu Murakami –sublight. ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/3 "2000-12-05T11:28:37Z")
“Things to do in Denver when you’re Dead” (flick) Cannibal: The Musical! (Trey Parker/Matt stone flick) God is a DJ - (song by faithless) And God Said HA! (flick.) Sympathy for the Devil - (Rolling Stones song) Guh… Im sleepy and fuzzy and not making awhole lot of sense… but yeah ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/4 "2000-12-05T12:51:19Z")
> [@](#): > > [sup]Posted by malkavia[/sup] > “Things to do in Denver when you’re Dead” (flick) [nit]Prior to this it was a song by **Warren Zevon**. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/5 "2000-12-05T14:42:48Z")
My personal favorite book titles: • The Last of the Moe Haircuts (a Three Stooges bio) • Jim Phenix’s Big Bulge (an 1890s penny dreadful—the “bulge” is a bankroll) • Lively Lays for Dreary Days (an 1880s book of children’s poetry) • How to Turn a Trick a Day with Bisquik (a 1930s cookbook) • Be Bold with Bananas (a 1940s cookbook) ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/6 "2000-12-05T20:12:32Z")
An XXX movie called, “Yank My Doodle, it’s a Dandy” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DigitalMuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecccb3/32.png) [@DigitalMuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalMuse)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/7 "2000-12-05T22:49:18Z")
The Devil Went Down to Georgia by Primus Sins of the Fathers by Course of Empire(1 vote for the song, 1 for the band) ---
**Author:** ![rackensack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@rackensack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rackensack)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/8 "2000-12-05T23:10:54Z")
[ul] [li]_Many Things Have Happened Since He Died (and Here Are the Highlights)_, a novel by an acquaintance from grad school, **Elizabeth Dewberry Vaughn** [/li][li]_The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies_, one of the oddest films of all time, from one of the masters of odd, **Ray Dennis Steckler** [/li][li]“More Songs about Chocolate and Girls”, song by Belfast rock group **The Undertones** [/li][li]“Thankfully, Not Living in Yorkshire, It Doesn’t Apply”, song from _Searching for the Young Soul Rebels_, the first (and best) Dexy’s Midnight Runners album[/li][li]“The Nips Are Getting Bigger”, song by Mental As Anything (n.b., the titular “nips” are from a bottle – and I think I can now die happy, having had occasion to say “titular ‘nips’” in a totally innocuous context)[/li][/ul] Have to run for now; more to follow. BTW, I’ve always thought there ought to have been a rock band called Gloria Monday, whose first album should have been called _Sick Transit_. If there ever were, I’m sure they’d be awful and completely uninteresting, with Frazetta cover art and all, but still. ---
**Author:** ![Thrashbarg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Thrashbarg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thrashbarg)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/9 "2000-12-06T02:45:01Z")
Only two good ones spring to mind at the moment: _I have no mouth, and I must scream_ -short story by Harlan Ellison. _Meathook Sodomy_ -Song by Cannibal Corpse (I think) Thrash ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/10 "2000-12-06T03:02:40Z")
Just remembered a few more: ‘Clams have feelings too (actually they dont)’ (NOFX saong) ‘And now for something completely similar’ (Another NOFX song) “Pantera Fans in Love” (Nerfherder song) “I cant get invited to the prom” (Queers song) “If you love someone, set them on fire.” (Dead Milkmen song) ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/11 "2000-12-06T03:15:38Z")
The Ellison is one of my favorites. I also like his “‘Repent, Harlequin!’ Said the Ticktockman.” Philip K. Dick had some good titles. “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?”, “The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch.” ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/12 "2000-12-06T03:44:14Z")
Horror and SF short stories have great titles, don’t they? Oh, Whistle and I’ll Come to You, My Lad – M. R. James, I think (?) Tight Little Stitches in a Dead Man’s Back and My Dead Dog, Bobby – two from Joe Lansdale It’s the rhythm, maybe. ---
**Author:** ![rackensack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@rackensack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rackensack)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/13 "2000-12-06T06:12:16Z")
[ul] [li]“This World, Then the Fireworks”, short story by **Jim Thompson** [/li][li]“Tortoise Brand Pot Scrubbing Cleaner’s Theme (Sea Turtle)” and “Tortoise Brand Pot Scrubbing Cleaner’s Theme (Green Tortoise)”, **Shonen Knife** song titles[/li][li]_Take Your Tongue of My Mouth, I’m Kissing You Goodbye_ and _If You Can’t Live Without Me Why Aren’t You Dead Yet_, books by **Cynthia Heimel** [/li][li]_dig . . ?_, title of first album by **The Coolies** , consisting entirely of Simon and Garfunkel covers (plus a cover of Paul Anka’s “Having My Baby”)[/li][li]_Doug_, title of second album by **The Coolies** , a brilliant rock opera about a skinhead who kills a transvestite fry cook, becomes a millionaire by publishing the cookbook he finds on the victim, and crashes back to poverty and paranoia, with spot-on parodies of R.E.M., The Who, and many more[/li][li]_Life Sentence in the Cathouse_, album title by **Tav Falco and Panther Burns** [/li][li]_Joshua Judges Ruth_, **Lyle Lovett** album title[/li][li]“Gimme Back My Wig”, song title by Chicago bluesman **Hound Dog Taylor** [/li][li]“Throwing My Baby Out With the Bathwater”, song title by **Tenpole Tudor** [/li][li]“You Broke My Heart in Seventeen Places”, song title by **Kirsty MacColl** [/li][li]“There’s a Guy Works Down at the Chip Shop Swears He’s Elvis”, song title by **Kirsty MacColl** [/li][li]“Pacchiarotto, and How He Worked in Distemper”, poem by **Robert Browning** [/li][li]“Extract from Captain Stormfield’s Visit to Heaven”, unfinished short work by **Mark Twain** [/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/14 "2000-12-06T08:32:17Z")
_Tea for the Tillerman_- an old 70’s album by Cat Stevens JimmyNipples- A poster on the SDMB ---
**Author:** ![Uniball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Uniball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uniball)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/15 "2000-12-06T08:38:21Z")
**"Repent, Harlequin!" Said The Ticktockman** , short story by Harlan Ellison. **Hole of the Brave** , gay movie. ---
**Author:** ![Pancho\_Sansabelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Pancho\_Sansabelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pancho_Sansabelt)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/16 "2000-12-07T20:20:49Z")
“Come Down from the Hills and Make My Baby”-an album title by Braindead Sound Machine “Ethel Merman Jism Spoon” title of a song by The Wrong ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/17 "2000-12-07T20:29:38Z")
“The Gods Must Be Crazy” - Funny movie ---
**Author:** ![Danimal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Danimal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danimal)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/18 "2000-12-07T21:24:10Z")
I tend to like titles that are imperatives, e.g. _Damn the Defiant!_ _Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia_ _Go Tell it On the Mountain_ _Go Tell the Spartans_ _Look Back in Anger_ \*Hang 'Em High \* _Pray for Death_ Some titles are just funny to read: _They Only Kill Their Masters_ _Razor Blade Smile_ - Stupid, stupid movie, but is that not the coolest title ever for a vampire flick? \*Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead \* - Ditto to everybody. _The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies_ - Ditto again. _Investigation of a Citizen Above Suspicion_ \*From Russia With Love \* \*Burglars Can’t Be Choosers \* Some are imperative and funny: _Please Don’t Torture a Duckling_ Some have a haunting quality I like; \*The Executioner’s Song A Bullet for Sandoval Two Mules for Sister Sara The Man Who Would Be King Alas, Babylon! Is Paris Burning? The Ballad of Little Jo \* The titles I least like include two-word adjective-noun banalities, e.g. \*Deep Cover Deep Rising Basic Instinct Primal Fear Pitch Black\* ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/19 "2000-12-08T04:25:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rackensack \* > [B[li]_The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies_, one of the oddest films of all time, from one of the masters of odd[/li] \*\* Thank you! I was trying to think of this title in another thread. My fav. titles: - The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys (fantastic book by Chris Fuhrman) - Give 'em Enough Rope (Clash album) - The Epistomolgy of the Closest (a book I read part of in a humanties class last year) - Vito Loves Geraldine (Janis Eidus book) - Personal Jesus (Depeche Mode song about Elvis and Priscilla) - The Idiot (Iggy Pop album) - A Bigger Splash (David Hockney painting) - Johnny Panic and the Bible of Dreams (Sylvia Plath short story) - The Silence of the Lambs (duh) ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118/20 "2000-12-08T20:37:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Danimal \* > \*\*The titles I least like include two-word adjective-noun banalities, e.g. > > \*Deep Cover > > Deep Rising > > Basic Instinct > > Primal Fear > > Pitch Black\* > > \*\* Is’nt it funny though how many thrillers have titles like this though? Obviously someone is following the “How to Make a Thriller” handbook to the letter. “My Own Private Idaho”- movie with Keanu Reeves. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-best-titles/44118.md?page=2)