# What are the bizarre things people say to you when you tell them what you do for a living? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735 "2012-08-17T01:38:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/81 "2012-08-18T03:05:55Z")
(when talking to Korean people) “I’m an English teacher.” “Really? How can I improve my English without having to study everyday? I don’t have time to study, but I really want to be good at English.” (:dubious:) OR “Wow, your English must be really good.” (No shit.) OR “I’m looking for a tutor for my kid. Does 10 bucks an hour sound fair to you?” (The going rate these days is closer to 40-50.) ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/82 "2012-08-18T03:43:15Z")
[QUOTE=Derleth] Have you ever used a 3270? Ever written JCL? Do you want to bean me with a 3270 for asking dumb questions yet? [/QUOTE] Yes, yes\* and no, just the keyboard will be sufficient. - haven’t created any JCL cards, but have “filled in the blanks” on lots of them, and put together piles of CLISTs and batch jobs. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/83 "2012-08-18T04:03:34Z")
I’m an artist. What I get is: “Oh, an arTISTE.” “Oh, a bullshit artist.” “I can’t draw a straight line.” “Well, yeah, but do you have a real job too?” “Can you draw me sometime?” (of course for free) “I believe you have to really suffer to be an artist.” “I just don’t understand modern art.” “There are elephants that get thousands of dollars for their paintings.” “You have to see my 4-year-old’s pictures. I think he’s gifted.” ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/84 "2012-08-18T04:09:38Z")
I’m a veterinarian’s receptionist. I have only been in this job since the end of May and only have 2 days to work left before I go back to school. For some odd reason people have been asking me questions about their pets’ health ALL FRIGGEN SUMMER LONG!!! I am not a vet dammit! I have picked up enough to get me by when people ask me questions at the desk but if you get more detailed than, “can I use oral and topical flea/tick preventatives at the same time?” or “Do I need a prescription for Heart Guard”, then I’m going to insist you talk to the vet or a tech. I may not have been making great money this summer but I still had no intention of risking my job by overstepping my qualifications. Even my mother has been asking me for advice even though she has been going to the same vet for almost 20 years and can easily call them with a question. ---
**Author:** ![markdash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@markdash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markdash)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/85 "2012-08-18T04:14:41Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Well? Not offhand, but if you gave me directions I could probably do a much better job than random Joe, being well versed in laboratory techniques and such. Organic chemistry was my weakest subject in college so I couldn’t figure out how to synthesize it unless you gave me the reactions. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/86 "2012-08-18T04:18:13Z")
Back when I was an architecture student, one of my aunts asked what courses I was taking. I told her, ending with Calculus. _“Oh so you’re going to be a dentist?”_ ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/87 "2012-08-18T20:14:51Z")
To answer the o.p., I get disbelief. Sometimes. Because I’m not really a snake wrangler, who’s a circus trapeze artist on my day off. I really hate the cynical scum that I come across. Splitters ! ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/88 "2012-08-18T20:35:18Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > When asked, I tell them I’m an electrical engineer. > > They say nothing. And move onto a different subject. No one ever imitates Lionel’s delivery of that line to Archie? I would. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/89 "2012-08-18T20:47:37Z")
> [@tapu](#): > > Oh, COME on! Don’t be like that! Spit 'er out. **tapu** , **Qadgop** is legendary amongst Dopers as being a physician at a prison. Look for some of the threads across a few fora where stories get told. I am _so_ glad I don’t know what gangrene smells like. 😉 I have a variety of responsibilities as an executive at my company, but they all involve Strategic Planning. So when folks ask, I offer that, and usually get the Will-Ferrell-as-George-W-on-SNL catchphrase “Strategery!!” in reply… ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/90 "2012-08-18T21:06:12Z")
One of my jobs is grading writing tests at home online. I frequently get comments and private messages like this: “Can I do that? I have a GED. I also write like someone who failed seventh grade English three times!” ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/91 "2012-08-18T21:38:40Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Uh, you’re British, right? Learning disabilities means something very different in the US so you’re probably confusing people here, too. Here someone labeled learning disabled is dyslexic or the like, not mentally retarded. Fair enough- if you ever come to the UK though, don’t say you work on a program for mentally retarded people, as a lot of people would be horrfied- it’s currently pretty much just used an an insult here. We generally would call dyslexia a learning difficulty, or possibly a mild learning disability. Either way, it’s weird that people would auntomatically assume either version about someone because they’re discribed as ‘disabled’. ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/92 "2012-08-18T21:46:09Z")
I got the most comments on my career when I was in law school and practicing law. I own a tech startup right now (we were in NY Magazine…go us!) and people tend to react pretty positively to that. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/93 "2012-08-18T21:54:14Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > **tapu** , **Qadgop** is legendary amongst Dopers as being a physician at a prison. Look for some of the threads across a few fora where stories get told. I am _so_ glad I don’t know what gangrene smells like. 😉 > > I have a variety of responsibilities as an executive at my company, but they all involve Strategic Planning. So when folks ask, I offer that, and usually get the Will-Ferrell-as-George-W-on-SNL catchphrase “Strategery!!” in reply… I’d say, “Well what kind of planning would it be if it weren’t strategic?” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/94 "2012-08-18T21:56:54Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > Fair enough- if you ever come to the UK though, don’t say you work on a program for mentally retarded people, as a lot of people would be horrfied- it’s currently pretty much just used an an insult here. We generally would call dyslexia a learning difficulty, or possibly a mild learning disability. > > Either way, it’s weird that people would auntomatically assume either version about someone because they’re discribed as ‘disabled’. “Mentally retarded” is used marginally here still. You don’t call a person who is actually retarded, “retarded.” You call your friends retarded. (source? anyone?) ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/95 "2012-08-18T21:58:37Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > Me: I am a psychologist. > Other person: Are you analyzing me right now? > Me: Yes. Yes, I am. I stopped saying that. I am not, nor will I likely ever be trained to do therapy. It means the study of the mind, we don’t all have to fix it. So I switched to saying neurosci… ah fuck you Holmes. Now it’d probably just make them back away slowly. > [@Jragon](#): > > I thought Broca’s characterized inability to speak, whereas Wernicke’s characterized inability to understand. But I’m probably wrong, I get them confused all the time. I defer to your expertise :p. Q: “So you have trouble talking?” A Broca’s: “…Yes…can…nnnot…talk…(finding words)…good.” A Wernicke’s: “So then the green vase went over to Bob’s, and pinched the curtains.” Broca’s are **very** aware of their difficulties, and it can be a source of frustration. Decent but slow with nouns and such, grammar is less good and they can omit things like “the.” Their comprehension is _almost_ perfect. There are exceptions, but I won’t explain unless anyone cares to know. I guess you can’t speak well if you’re not understanding. Wernicke’s are generally unaware of their problems. Their speech is very fluent, but usually doesn’t mean much. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/96 "2012-08-18T22:01:24Z")
> [@tapu](#): > > I’d say, “Well what kind of planning would it be if it weren’t strategic?” 🙂 Umm, tactical? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/97 "2012-08-18T22:05:47Z")
I wasn’t thinking. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/98 "2012-08-18T22:17:33Z")
I’m an indexer. (I feel like I’ve been posting a lot about this on here lately.) Invariably people say, “Wow, humans do that? I thought it was done automatically by computers.” Then sometimes I get, “Well, that seems obsolete. I can just press Ctrl-F in my e-reader.” Yeah, good luck finding the specific reference to the concept of “personal information” as discussed in a specific US privacy law in a book that’s all about privacy law, by pressing Ctrl-F. (Just an example that came to mind from my most recent project.) Oh, the other one is, “Do you have to read the entire book?” Yes. Yes, I do. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/99 "2012-08-19T00:01:22Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > I’m an indexer. (I feel like I’ve been posting a lot about this on here lately.) Can you provide a comprehensive list of threads you’ve posted this in, ordered by length of post? I program cell phones - the low level stuff like trying to extend your battery life, and making sure there are no hardware defects when it comes out of the factory. But most people think that means I can help them with third party apps they’ve installed on phones from other manufacturers. I guess that’s not all that bizarre. -D/a ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735/100 "2012-08-19T00:10:17Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > Q: “So you have trouble talking?” > A Broca’s: “…Yes…can…nnnot…talk…(finding words)…good.” > A Wernicke’s: “So then the green vase went over to Bob’s, and pinched the curtains.” > > Broca’s are **very** aware of their difficulties, and it can be a source of frustration. Decent but slow with nouns and such, grammar is less good and they can omit things like “the.” Their comprehension is _almost_ perfect. There are exceptions, but I won’t explain unless anyone cares to know. > > I guess you can’t speak well if you’re not understanding. Wernicke’s are generally unaware of their problems. Their speech is very fluent, but usually doesn’t mean much. Interesting post. You learn something every day. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-bizarre-things-people-say-to-you-when-you-tell-them-what-you-do-for-a-living/631735.md?page=6)