# What are the clues a person is probably a good lover? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 2, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-clues-a-person-is-probably-a-good-lover/237904 "2004-04-02T15:38:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Blaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2004, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-clues-a-person-is-probably-a-good-lover/237904/41 "2004-04-04T03:54:16Z")
There is no particular answer to being a good lover. I truly believe good lovers are individuals that are actually in love with their partner. Being in love brings out a certain sense of creativity, caring, attention to detail, and the passion that we all crave so much. Of course our physical being plays a large part also. Good hygiene, smooth skin, and adequate equipment all play major roles. Touching and being touched is different for everyone. You can spend a lifetime with someone and never know exactly what they enjoy the most. Which brings me to the next item. For everyone that may not enjoy the passion of new love, communication is the key to passionate longevity. Tell your partner exactly what you like and most of your problems should be solved. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2004, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-clues-a-person-is-probably-a-good-lover/237904/42 "2004-04-04T04:25:54Z")
> [@Abbie Carmichael](#): > > There is no such thing as a person who is a good kisser, but a bad lover. > > Especially if he runs his fingers through your hair and kind of massages the back of your head during the kiss _pant_ The best kisser I ever kissed was fabulously amazingly awesome at kissing and never had bad breath, even though he smoked copiously. His kisses alone were worth the price of admission, despite is other, um, shortcomings. Suffice it to say that he was a lousy lover. It was very sad. I’m thinking now about my 3 best lovers and the were all very tall, very thin, and ridiculously energetic. They also had very big dicks. They were great kissers too. I don’t know if these are universal indicators, and I certainly hope they aren’t, because my new love interest is a short, stocky guy who isn’t necessarily any more energetic than I am. He’s a good kisser, but as I’ve said, that doesn’t serve as an accurate predictor for me. We’ll see. I have to say that I don’t think there’s any way to know how someone is going to be in bed before you sleep with them. It’s all about chemistry and timing. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2004, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-clues-a-person-is-probably-a-good-lover/237904/43 "2004-04-04T14:00:41Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > They also had very big dicks. Define big. I once “knew” a guy that was very big, and he hurt me. Not so fun to have sex with someone who ( unintentionally ) hurt you. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2004, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-clues-a-person-is-probably-a-good-lover/237904/44 "2004-04-04T15:40:35Z")
> [@misstee](#): > > Define big. I once “knew” a guy that was very big, and he hurt me. Not so fun to have sex with someone who ( unintentionally ) hurt you. The best lover I ever had was porn-star big. He just knew how to use it. The guy who hurt me was above average but not as big, and clearly did not reflect much on its usage. I think size matters to an extent, but it’s more important to be aware of the effect you’re having on your partner. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-clues-a-person-is-probably-a-good-lover/237904/45 "2004-04-05T13:49:26Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > You misspelled “Cervaise” and “Seattle.” I hope poor spelling isn’t a sign of being a poor lover. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-clues-a-person-is-probably-a-good-lover/237904/46 "2004-04-05T14:10:14Z")
> [@](#): > > Ladies, you haven’t lived until you’ve been triple-penetrated by one person I think this means while being serviced your partner has a finger up your nose with one hand and the other is applying Ben Gay. It has penetrating action. What? ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-clues-a-person-is-probably-a-good-lover/237904/47 "2004-04-05T15:45:59Z")
Well … If he grooms his eyebrows with his tongue, that’s a pretty good sign! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-clues-a-person-is-probably-a-good-lover/237904/48 "2004-04-05T20:40:00Z")
_Is it in his face? Oh no, that’s just his charms In his warm embrace? Oh no, that’s just his arms If you want to know if he loves you so It’s in his kiss That’s where it is_ ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-clues-a-person-is-probably-a-good-lover/237904/49 "2004-04-06T06:39:26Z")
Playfulness. That’s the real deal. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-clues-a-person-is-probably-a-good-lover/237904.md?page=2)