# What are the dumbest questions you've been asked more than once? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 6, 2019, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767 "2019-09-06T01:47:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2019, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/142 "2019-09-09T19:02:34Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I worked the front desk of a library for some time, and I never saw that happen. Hunh. I don’t know of _anyone_ it’s ever happened to but me, which makes it happening twice all the more bizarre. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2019, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/143 "2019-09-09T19:28:27Z")
> [@ThisSpaceForRent](#): > > I run a Pizzeria in St Louis… > > The most common (in my opinion STUPID) question I get asked is “How Big is a 14” Pizza" or How big is an 18" pizza"…ummm “14” or 18" inches in diameter, respectively" > [@Steve\_MB](#): > > Given that a two-by-four is [not two inches by four inches](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/3074/why-arent-two-by-fours-two-inches-by-four-inches/), it’s not unreasonable to wonder whether a 14" or 18" pizza is actually 14 or 18 inches across. No, that is a dumb question. That’s like asking, “What flavor is the pineapple soda?” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2019, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/144 "2019-09-09T19:45:47Z")
> [@River\_Hippie](#): > > I have a co-worker that has a desk right next to mine. We share a phone. We have very different responsibilities. His subordinates are always walking up to our area and not seeing Ted, they ask me “Where’s Ted?” > > I try to be cool about it but I am getting increasingly sarcastic in my response. I have no idea what Ted is doing or where he is. My usual response is to slowly (and pointedly) look around and say “I don’t see him.” Some of the people that have been around a while have caught on but there is so much churn that there are always new people that think my job is to keep track of where “Ted” is. Sadly a lot of higher ups have the same notion and I have to act like I normally keep track of him but am not sure at the moment. > > Not a big deal but after the 10,000th time it gets old. Many years ago, my co-workers and I had the same problem. I’ve posted before about how we solved the problem (see [here](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5382451&postcount=64)), but I’ll post it again: > [@](#): > > … We posted it [a sign] on the door to our six-cube room so anybody entering couldn’t miss it: > > \*\*Are you coming to see if Neil is in? > > If so, check if one of the following answers your questions _before_ you bother Neil’s co-workers: > > – We don’t know where Neil is. > > – We don’t know when he will return. > > – We don’t know where he left his files/documents/football picks. > > – We don’t know when he last checked his e-mail or phone messages. > > – Got something for him? Leave it on his desk where he cannot miss it. Don’t give it to us. > > – Leave Neil your instructions about the package you’re leaving for him. He will accept voice messages, e-mails, or brief handwritten notes. Don’t leave us instructions to be passed along to Neil at our discretion and/or on our schedule. > > In short, if Neil’s not here, leave us alone. We can’t help you.\*\* > > It actually worked pretty well, as I recall. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2019, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/145 "2019-09-09T19:57:51Z")
> [@ThisSpaceForRent](#): > > I run a Pizzeria in St Louis… > > The most common (in my opinion STUPID) question I get asked is “How Big is a 14” Pizza" or How big is an 18" pizza"…ummm “14” or 18" inches in diameter, respectively" > [@cochrane](#): > > No, that is a dumb question. That’s like asking, “What flavor is the pineapple soda?” The not-so-dumb part of it, IMHO, is that some people have trouble _visualizing_ a circle that is 14" or 18" across. Some pizza places display different-sized pizza pans, or just painted circles, to show people what the different pizza sizes look like. ---
**Author:** ![jaycat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat/32/3015_2.png) [@jaycat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaycat)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2019, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/146 "2019-09-09T20:00:55Z")
> [@Sparky812](#): > > “Can you play “Piano Man”?” … while playing guitar at a gig, party, campfire, etc… 😕 I’ve been playing guitar for 50 years and guess I should count myself fortunate that no one has ever asked me that question. ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2019, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/147 "2019-09-09T20:38:18Z")
This is part of a question, rather than a full question. For many years I worked with US colleagues or clients, and several times I have been asked something-or-other about “British African-Americans”. Yes, I know it’s a bit unfair - they are just being decent, sensitive people and forgetting who they are asking (albeit in a rather odd way). Hard to know quite how to answer, though. j ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2019, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/148 "2019-09-09T22:05:34Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > When I’m wearing my red shirt, standing behind the cash register ringing up purchases and the light is on. “Are you open?” Given how many times I’ve walked up to an apparently open register ringing somebody up only to have them tell me they’re closed, I’m not sure I can blame the people for asking. > [@Limmin](#): > > \>\> Is zero an even number? > > My office mate, the smartest PhD student in our group of rocket scientists, and a very good programmer, paused when I asked him this, and said “Maybe it’s a special case?” Simplistically, it’s even, and it feels like it should be. But ya never know, in some applications maybe it ought to be handled differently… In _most_ programming applications 0 is handled differently from other outputs. The thing that’s not common, though, is looking for even/odd numbers. So as a dude who’s a couple decades away from an exam and who just yesterday wrote special handling to cover a 0 output, it’s not hard at _all_ to imagine a test question where 0 might need special handling. > [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > Do artists in general perceive this as a stupid question? I am not an artist, in fact art (visual, specifically) may as well be magic to me. I have no idea how an artist does what they do nor where they may get inspiration. It is, however, a fascinating subject to me. I am one who asks that very question. If you asked me that, you’d get a long and ever-growing list of all the things I’ve ripped off. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2019, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/149 "2019-09-09T22:31:05Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > GMA = Good Morning, America > DAR = Daughters of the American Revolution > > (Sorry, I had to look this up, despite being American, but for the non-American audience and idiots like me, spelling out the initialism would be helpful.) But you didn’t translate NYC. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2019, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/150 "2019-09-10T01:26:55Z")
> [@jaycat](#): > > I’ve been playing guitar for 50 years and guess I should count myself fortunate that no one has ever asked me that question. 50 years is Back Before the Internet. But now, if you wanted to learn the guitar chords for Piano Man, you’d just go to youtube or [tabs.ultimate-guitar.com](http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com) ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2019, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/151 "2019-09-10T01:50:19Z")
> [@Melbourne](#): > > 50 years is Back Before the Internet. But now, if you wanted to learn the guitar chords for Piano Man, you’d just go to youtube or [tabs.ultimate-guitar.com](http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com) Or, [here you go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOHUC4qcWL4) (Youtube lesson.) Note one of the comments: "Just had someone ask me if I played Piano Man…thanks for helping me expand my repertoire Marty!! Yes, I know (or assume) the original post was a joke, but despite the song being about a piano player at a bar, I think it still sounds fine played on guitar (actually, listening to various acoustic guitar covers on Youtube, I may prefer it on guitar, but I’m not particularly fond of the song itself, despite piano being my main instrument.) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2019, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/152 "2019-09-10T02:54:28Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Where do you get the ideas for your art? Just matter-of-factly say “Pact with Satan.” ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2019, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/153 "2019-09-10T03:03:50Z")
> [@jaycat](#): > > I’ve been playing guitar for 50 years and guess I should count myself fortunate that no one has ever asked me that question. So, _can_ you? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2019, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/154 "2019-09-10T04:25:59Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Just matter-of-factly say “Pact with Satan.” I often get asked where my Artistic ideas come from. If I’m feeling silly I say “I steal them”. Sometimes I try to be mysterious and say they come to me while I meditate. It seems no one wants more info on those answers. , ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2019, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/155 "2019-09-10T04:28:02Z")
When my late husband and I were living in the Carolinas, we’d get “So which one of you …ahh… errr…is the woman?” Neither! We’re both men! Working in various offices, I apparently looked like someone who’d know where to find pens, toner, headset batteries, etc. The stock answer was “Ask your manager or your admin. There are seven business lines on this floor, and they all have their own supplies.” ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2019, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/156 "2019-09-10T05:09:03Z")
> [@And\_his\_buzzer\_goes](#): > > As already mentioned, when dressed in a recognisable outfit, like cycling/motorbike gear, “Did you come by bike?” “No, I enjoy running around in spandex/leathers”. Yes, I know it’s a conversation starter, like “How do you do? (I don’t \*\*\*really \*\*\*need an answer)”, but it couldn’t hurt to try something better. > The “Do you know x” if people hear you’re from another town or company. The odd thing is: I think this myself… We visited a restaurant in my old town during the weekend and was wondering if I’d bump into someone I know. I used to manage a franchise car rental agency. The manager of the branch in the next town over was Lucas, from Brazil. Our standard joke, whenever we got a customer from Brazil was … Do you know Lucas? Until one day I asked the question - and got a yes… ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2019, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/157 "2019-09-10T06:03:55Z")
> [@Limmin](#): > > My wife has dark hair and eyes, and tans well. I’m pale: red/blond, blue eyes, freckles / burns instantly when outdoors anywhere south of Seattle. When my son was a baby he was similarly pale, blue-eyed, etc. Whenever I had him out and about, nobody questioned my being his father. (He was a “mini me.”) But when wifey had him out and about, hiking, shopping, whatever, people would sometimes assume she was his nanny. This got her irritated (and concerned that someone might take him away). I think this happens fairly often to mixed-race families. One of my best friends as a kid was half Irish, half Sri Lankan, and she was light skinned, but her brothers were quite dark, and her Mum was always being asked if they were adopted. And another friend years later was a very dark skinned Black British woman with a husband as pale as you and their children resembled him a lot, so people generally assumed she was the nanny, which she understandably found pretty hurtful. It’s understandable that people get confused sometimes, but vocalising it is just rude. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2019, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/158 "2019-09-10T07:57:30Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > Working in various offices, I apparently looked like someone who’d know where to find pens, toner, headset batteries, etc. Somewhat similarly, I used to go to the local horse race track after work. Work required a jacket and tie, which definitely marked me apart from the usual racetrack denizens. As a result, I got a lot of questions from people who thought I worked for the track. Many questions, I could easily handle (“Hey, you look like you work here; where’s the men’s room?”), but on some, I had to admit that I could not help (“Hey, you look like you work here; any inside tips?”). Buddy, I don’t work here, and if I had any inside tips, I’d keep them to myself. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2019, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/159 "2019-09-10T12:45:44Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > 😕 Is there something unique about that piece of music that makes it impossible to play with a guitar? > [@jaycat](#): > > I’ve been playing guitar for 50 years and guess I should count myself fortunate that no one has ever asked me that question. > [@Melbourne](#): > > 50 years is Back Before the Internet. But now, if you wanted to learn the guitar chords for Piano Man, you’d just go to youtube or [tabs.ultimate-guitar.com](http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com) > [@pulykamell](#): > > Or, [here you go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOHUC4qcWL4) (Youtube lesson.) Note one of the comments: "Just had someone ask me if I played Piano Man…thanks for helping me expand my repertoire Marty!! > > Yes, I know (or assume) the original post was a joke, but despite the song being about a piano player at a bar, I think it still sounds fine played on guitar (actually, listening to various acoustic guitar covers on Youtube, I may prefer it on guitar, but I’m not particularly fond of the song itself, despite piano being my main instrument.) FTR, it wasn’t a joke. I have had requests to play the song while playing live or at a party,etc… I’ve been playing over 40 years so I’ve played it before, it’s not particularly difficult and it would only take me a minute to deduce a chord progression (no Youtube or tab sites needed, thanks!) I find it’s a dumb question because it’s not a song that’s really written for guitar. Could you do it, sure. but honestly, I’m a little above just strumming the accompaniment chords while trying to usher the crowd through all the lyrics. …and I’m not against playing a “piano song” on guitar. I’ve played songs like “Desperado”, “Let it Be”,“Freebird” “Walking in Memphis” “That’s Just the Way It Is” and many others. “Piano Man” just doesn’t work as well. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2019, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/160 "2019-09-10T12:55:38Z")
I can’t think of any really stupid questions I’ve been asked more than once, but I once met a Gettysburg park ranger who shared some of his favorite dumb questions from over the years: “Did the soldiers take cover behind the monuments during the battle?” (Uh, no, the monuments were built after the war) “Why were so many battles fought in national parks?” (The battlefields became national parks later) “Did the Americans win this battle?” (Yes, they did; they also lost it) ---
**Author:** ![Limmin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f04885/32.png) [@Limmin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Limmin)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2019, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767/161 "2019-09-10T15:06:52Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > I can’t think of any really stupid questions I’ve been asked more than once, but I once met a Gettysburg park ranger who shared some of his favorite dumb questions from over the years: > > “Did the soldiers take cover behind the monuments during the battle?” (Uh, no, the monuments were built after the war) > “Why were so many battles fought in national parks?” (The battlefields became national parks later) > “Did the Americans win this battle?” (Yes, they did; they also lost it) Wait, I heard another one regarding monuments are Gettysburg. Maybe you posted this elsewhere on SDMB?? Tourist seeing cannons pointed at a high angle: “Were these used as anti-aircraft guns during the battle?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-dumbest-questions-youve-been-asked-more-than-once/839767.md?page=9)