I get drunk.
When I’m drunk, and in a crowd, some of my social inhibitions relating to not telling someone important that they are a [insert obscene description] become null and void. I warn my friends about this. They steer me clear of such people. In earlier days, when I felt I had to rebel against a job I used to love, but had grown to feel had betrayed my trust, I drank just to shock people. Kind of like the first time folk heard me swear. Alcohol numbs my sense of smell, so I usually end up deep in the smokers quarters (I’m a non smoker). I’m sure this will be a factor in later health problems.
If I drink with company (one or two others), I feel like hugging the whole world. And I get philosophical, but too blotto to write anything down that I’ll remember and make millions from.
When I drink alone, I get a buzz on that temporarily pushes problems aside. This “crutch” factor is a reason why I rarely drink alone anymore. Not a good idea to mix depression with booze.
Hahahahaha!
That was freaking HILARIOUS!
Wow, I had no idea the accent-exchange was so common.
I wonder if there are folks in Yorkshire that inexplicably start talking like they’re from Toronto when they’ve got a buzz on?
This evening I was prompted to remember another effect that ethanol has on me: It brings my taste in films waaaay down:
I made a pitcher of daiquiri and sat down to screen Invasion of the Bee Girls, and I laughed and laughed.
Ingmar Bergman it ain’t.
I also suffer memory loss like Francesca, including not being able to remember anything that happens in the few hours before I’m drunk. I get louder than I am normally and say things which I would have kept to myself had I been sober. If I’m with friends we make sure we all know how much we love each other.
I don’t gain an accent but I do lose the ability to fit keys in locks.
Hmmm… I get uncomfortably warm, my stomach feels uneasy, and then I fall asleep. It’s a total blast! I should do it more often!
I get very loose. Not morally, just that all of a sudden, body movements become a lot more fluid and overpronounced. Kind of like a computer generated person (notice in movies how they’re constantly moving in order to make them look more “realistic”?). I giggle a lot, and most recently, get tired REALLY fast. And I move a little faster than the rest of the world (meaning, I turn my head, the world takes a couple seconds to catch up).
I also feel all nice and warm all over. I think that helps with the sleepy bit. I think I’ll have a couple drinks tonight before bed, I could use a good night’s sleep.
My drunk personality has slowly merged with my sober personality.
I used to laugh more, get a lot louder and looser. Now I try to be like that all the time. 
I did an “Ask the drunk guy” thread once… but I was smashed when I started it, so maybe that doesn’t count (it didn’t last very long either, as I fuzzily recall… I went to bed.).
That thread is beautiful. I just don’t think a drunk thread would produce as much comedy gold as Homer’s Odyssey on 'Shrooms- depressant vs. hallucenigen. I’ve posted drunk a few times in the past, and I’ve noticed that my posts are a little edgier and more blunt than normal. Not really funny.
Although, I do recall reading a drunk thread a little while back that IIRC was pretty good, but I don’t have the time to look it up. I think it involved naked fish or something, maybe lips-- Oreos?-- I don’t remember the details. Anyone know what I’m talking about?
Regarding the OP: F_X, you seem to have your senses heightened when you drink. You seemed really aware of what you were doing, whereas I don’t seem to know a fart from a futon after I toss back a few.
Happy, no cartoonish young black men in my monitor
“I never used to drink that much because, well, you see I’m Asian, and when we drink, we get all red. Someone would be like Ooooh, do you have a sunburn? I’d be like, naaaww, i’m fugged ub…”
-Margaret Cho
Anyway, I don’t drink, but I get really good contact highs off of all drugs (which is a lot of fun, not to mention cheaper) and I get all giggly and talkative.
Memory loss is very apparent when I drink. There’s a couple of bands that I see that I just can’t help but have another beer or whatever, and I’ve joked with them that their music is subliminally sending me msg’s to drink more.
Oh, and then there’s the drunk dialing, which I haven’t done in a while. You know, get home a lil’ tipsy and late and figure, hey, it’s way past midnight, I bet it would be a good time to call _________. (Although you haven’t talked to ______ in years)
And in the end, there is the longing desire for a gyro before beddy bye.
I get charming, 10 times more handsome, become a better dresser and dancer, and everyone loves me.
I do sho! I love you, man!!! You…you are my besht friend, ya know tha?
Luckily, I can hold a lot of liquor (or maybe that’s unlucky, as it’s more expensive). In any event, I always have something to munch on so I don’t puke or get heartburn, and then the progression goes:
- Get all relaxed and happy.
- Face goes numb.
- Get silly, talk nonsense, giggle uncontrollably
- Get the “sway” effect, where you just ssswwwwway a lot.
- Get horny. Really horny.
- Roll over and go to sleep.
I don’t get mean or nasty when I get drunk, and it’s so relaxing that I enjoy it–in fact, if I’m pissed off, I’ll usually calm down after a few JDs. Oddly enough, I haven’t become an alcoholic: I can go for weeks without drinking.
- I love everyone. And I tell my friends, very earnestly how I appreciate their friendship.
- I dance a lot.
- I feel a little guilty and stupid.
- I try to be helpful and kind to everyone.
- I sing rap songs.
- I say anything that pops into my head.
I’m a big fan of white russians and Smirnoff ice. More than three, and I start to get really hot, sweaty, and sleepy. (Helps if I’m at a night club, because then nobody notices the first two.)
Oh, and liquor severely improves my ability to play softball.
I start to think I can dance.
Ahhh… yes. I think IcicleFuzz pretty much summed it up. But for those that have never read, Baja Oklahoma, the ten stages of drunkenness are:
- Witty an charming, Part I
- Rich & Powerful
- Benevolent
- Clairvoyant
- Fuck Dinner
- Patriotic
- Crank up the Enola Gay
- Witty and Charming, Part II
- Invisible
- Bullet proof
Where I work, we have a company motto to go along:
I will not drink.
But, if I do,
I will not get drunk.
But, if I do,
It will not be in public.
But, if it is,
I will not pass out.
But if I do,
I will fall face down, so my badge won’t show!
When I drank, which at one period of my life was way too often and too much, I used to think I was unbearably charming. According to my friends, I was merely unbearable. Having seen others behave in the same way when I am sober, I’m inclined to believe my friends were right. I’ve always been talkative and outgoing, but when lubricated I got downright gushy. When it got to the point I had hangovers and amnesia I cut down. Since being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, I don’t drink at all. But I miss being charming. ::sigh:: Oh, that’s right…unbearable. Never mind.
I become terminally, unspeakably nerdy. Well, I’m like that sober as well, but when I’m sober I realize that most other people are not particularly interested in my brilliant thoughts about Gender and Social Class in the Elizabethan History Play, so I usually keep my mouth shut. After a few drinks I switch into full-on lecture mode.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t apply in social settings where it would actually be OK to talk about literature, such as parties at professor’s houses. Then I tend to rattle on about something completely inappropriate, like sex. Such is life.