# What are the five worst television shows of all time? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 22, 2009, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833 "2009-07-22T06:15:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/41 "2009-07-22T15:44:54Z")
PunditLisa: > [@](#): > > Children’s programming takes the worst categories IMO: > > “Barney” - it’s not the obnoxious purple dinosaur that disturbed me the most. It was the impossibly cheerful, overly tolerant, uber-polite, phony-ass kids on the show, many who were allowed to stay years past the point where they were cute. No, I don’t love you, Barney, and we’re not a happy family. > > But nothing, and I mean, nothing prepared me for the imported twin horrors that my 3 year old niece became obsessed with a few years ago: “DoodleBop” and “The Wiggles.” Oh my. At least it was kids who embarrassed themselves on “Barney.” These shows hired full grown adults to routinely debase themselves for a paycheck. Bad writing. Bad singing. Bad dancing. The worst for this has to be Teletubbies, though. At least Barney, the Wiggles, and the others actually speak in real, human English. The Teletubbies speak some sort of moronic baby language that has probably retarded the verbal skills of any kid who grew up watching a significant amount of that show. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/42 "2009-07-22T15:45:42Z")
> [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](#): > > I’ve no doubt that many shows will be mentioned that I agree were truly awful, and some that have been posted I agree merit this title(some i have not heard of). That being said, anyone that cites _Cop Rock_ is going to get a punch in the face. > > It was innovative and fun and music! Stop making fun of it. I will never mock Cop Rock. I still remember the song from the cop’s funeral: _My only regret is I haven’t told you yet how much I love you…_. Also I feel obliged to defend The Dukes of Hazzard. It’s pure, goofy fun. I’ll nominate Love Boat; its landlubber clone Hotel; the execrable Dallas; the even more execrable Dynasty; and, in a tie for the fifth spot, Melrose Place and Beverly Hills 90210. Charmed escapes this list only because the non-Rose McGowan leads were so freaking hot. ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/43 "2009-07-22T15:50:19Z")
I’m kind of surprised no one has mentioned “Queen for a Day”, which often shows up on all-time-worst lists. Contestants were women who described their horrible lives; the audience would vote on the winner, who would then receive prizes. ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/44 "2009-07-22T15:52:28Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I will never mock Cop Rock. I still remember the song from the cop’s funeral: _My only regret is I haven’t told you yet how much I love you…_. > > Also I feel obliged to defend The Dukes of Hazzard. It’s pure, goofy fun. > > I’ll nominate Love Boat; its landlubber clone Hotel; the execrable Dallas; the even more execrable Dynasty; and, in a tie for the fifth spot, Melrose Place and Beverly Hills 90210. Charmed escapes this list only because the non-Rose McGowan leads were so freaking hot. **Skald** I don’t care what they ever say about you , you’ll be aces in my book. Og love you , man. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/45 "2009-07-22T15:56:25Z")
> [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](#): > > **Skald** I don’t care what they ever say about you , you’ll be aces in my book. Og love you , man. 🆒 I’m glad somebody mentioned Cop Rock, as I was inspired to YouTube it and just finished listening to that song. I did not recall that the cop singing it was Captain Fancy from NYPD Blue (which by the way is the greatest show of all time). ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/46 "2009-07-22T15:57:47Z")
Wow - _three_ people who liked Cop Rock (including me). How many others are hiding in the closet? > [@cmkeller](#): > > The worst for this has to be Teletubbies, though. At least Barney, the Wiggles, and the others actually speak in real, human English. The Teletubbies speak some sort of moronic baby language that has probably retarded the verbal skills of any kid who grew up watching a significant amount of that show. Clearly you’ve never encountered the [Boohbahs](http://pbskids.org/boohbah/dance.html). The Teletubbies are positively staid compared to the drug trip that is the Boohbahs. If it’s not the LSD-inspired psychedelia of the Boohbahs themselves, it’s the bong-hit of the humans in Storyland (“Mr Man” and “Mrs Lady”, to name two). If you don’t want to risk actual exposure, a [description](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boohbah) will suffice. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/47 "2009-07-22T16:00:31Z")
> [@cjepson](#): > > I’m kind of surprised no one has mentioned “Queen for a Day”, which often shows up on all-time-worst lists. Contestants were women who described their horrible lives; the audience would vote on the winner, who would then receive prizes. Out of memory error. Went off in 1960 and has not, mercifully, been rerun. ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/48 "2009-07-22T16:04:17Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I’m glad somebody mentioned Cop Rock, as I was inspired to YouTube it and just finished listening to that song. I did not recall that the cop singing it was Captain Fancy from NYPD Blue (which by the way is the greatest show of all time). Yes, James McDaniel, a fine actor and a fine ass dude. We have good taste. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/49 "2009-07-22T16:05:36Z")
Holy shit - does nobody remember **Mama’s Family**? Even worse than **Small Wonder** , if only because it was ostensibly a sitcom for “adults”. And am I the only one who saw **She’s The Sherriff** with Suzanne Somers? Man, those direct-to-syndication shows in the '80s were uniformly awful. **It’s A Living** is another that comes to mind. For network sitcoms (I never watched enough drama to compile an authoritative list of “the worst”), **Alf** was particularly crappy, especially because it had a decent premise that it completely squandered. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/50 "2009-07-22T16:13:20Z")
People seem to have the ability to blank out the REALLY worst shows they’ve ever seen. _The Dumplings_ Two actors who were way too good for the material (James Coco and Geraldine Brooks) prove that fat people can be lovable. _In the Beginning_ One of McLean Stevenson’s post-M_A_S\*H disasters. He played a conservative priest locking horns with a hip, streetwise nun. _Mary_ How could a variety show starring Mary Tyler Moore and with an ensemble featuring, among others, Dick Shawn, David Letterman, Swoosie Kurtz and Michael Keaton NOT be entertaining??? _The Bay City Blues_ Take the gritty, depressing darkness we often saw in _Hill Street Blues_ and _St. Elsewhere_ and put it on a minor league baseball team – eliminating any of the inspriation we might have gotten from seeing cops and docs struggle with and sometimes triumph over impossible odds. _Til Death_ It was just like _Married Without Children_ except without children and without the really sharp acting of Ed O’Neill, Chirstina Applegate and the others. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/51 "2009-07-22T16:22:46Z")
**Two and a Half Men Two and a Half Men Two and a Half Men Two and a Half Men Two and a Half Men** ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/52 "2009-07-22T16:24:48Z")
In addition to Dukes Of Hazzard and Testees I would like to nominate: F Troop Go Go Gophers Animated 60’s Spider-Man ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/53 "2009-07-22T16:29:30Z")
Man five isn’t enough! Yet more! That show with Gary Coleman Clutch Cargo and since people are talking about children’s shows: Barney ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/54 "2009-07-22T16:34:53Z")
Gyrate: > [@](#): > > Clearly you’ve never encountered the Boohbahs. The Teletubbies are positively staid compared to the drug trip that is the Boohbahs. If it’s not the LSD-inspired psychedelia of the Boohbahs themselves, it’s the bong-hit of the humans in Storyland (“Mr Man” and “Mrs Lady”, to name two). If you don’t want to risk actual exposure, a description will suffice. Holy crap on a popsicle stick, that Wikipedia entry’s got to have been vandalized or something. “The chosen ones will be able to evolve into Boohbahs if they so choose?” That’s no drug trip, that’s the freaking Heaven’s Gate Hale-Bopp comet cult. ---
**Author:** ![thwartme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@thwartme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thwartme)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/55 "2009-07-22T16:57:06Z")
“[The Trouble With Tracy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFLEvAhSTwQ)”. I’m guessing many, many Canadian dopers will back me up on this. And I’ll also step in to defend the Dana Carvey show. At times, [it was awesome](http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/29431/detail/). thwartme ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/56 "2009-07-22T17:00:05Z")
> [@johnspartan](#): > > Pfft, Benson was entertaining. I don’t know. At the time, I thought it was a pale immitation of Soap. Recently, I saw a clip and got a full dose of suckitude. It was an episode where they introduced a wacky new character. The guy was just not funny. I’d be surprised if he’s ever allowed to be on TV again. I think his name was Gerry Sign Field. ---
**Author:** ![Starbreaker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@Starbreaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starbreaker)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/57 "2009-07-22T17:05:51Z")
Tyler Perry’s House of Payne Charmed I don’t watch a lot of bad TV, but these two make me cringe. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/58 "2009-07-22T17:06:30Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Hey, I still remember all the words to the theme song! Darn you. Just when I thought I had recovered the neurons, and now… \*…decided to come back, As a car. She’s my very own - guiding star. A 1928 Porter. That’s my mother dear…\* Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/59 "2009-07-22T17:23:13Z")
The news. ETA: Oh wait, that’s four short. The news on five different channels. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833/60 "2009-07-22T17:43:23Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Children’s programming takes the worst categories IMO: > > “ **Barney** ” - it’s not the obnoxious purple dinosaur that disturbed me the most. It was the impossibly cheerful, overly tolerant, uber-polite, phony-ass kids on the show, many who were allowed to stay years past the point where they were cute. No, I don’t love you, Barney, and we’re not a happy family. > > But nothing, and I mean, nothing prepared me for the imported twin horrors that my 3 year old niece became obsessed with a few years ago: “ **DoodleBop** ” and “ **The Wiggles**.” Oh my. At least it was kids who embarrassed themselves on “Barney.” These shows hired full grown adults to routinely debase themselves for a paycheck. Bad writing. Bad singing. Bad dancing. NOpe, sorry. If you are going to add kid’s shows, then you need to consider Boohbah - [http://www.boohbah.com/zone.html](http://www.boohbah.com/zone.html) and > **[Boohbah](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boohbah)** > > Boohbah is a British preschool television series created by Anne Wood and produced by Wood's company, Ragdoll Productions, in association with GMTV. It premiered on ITV on 14 April 2003. The series was later broadcast on Nick Jr. UK beginning on 2 April 2005. > The series, with 104 episodes, was designed for preschoolers aged three to six (a slightly older age group than Wood's previous show, Teletubbies). > According to Anne Wood, the show's visuals were inspired by scientific photographs of m... [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-five-worst-television-shows-of-all-time/503833.md?page=4)