# What are the lessons of James Bond movies? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 10, 2020, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276 "2020-09-10T17:15:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/21 "2020-09-10T19:34:42Z")
> [@drad\_dog](#): > > The Lesson of the novels was that a rasher of bacon = one slice. What good is ONE slice? That’s like one potato chip! ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/22 "2020-09-10T19:45:06Z")
- Bacon, or any British breakfast, goes down more smoothly with a measure of booze. - If you are going to give your real name and drive a very distinctive car, make sure that there are four license plates on a roller so it can be easily changed, fooling your followers. - Have a prepared, sardonic response at the ready for the inevitable next time you see someone cheating at casino baccarat. - Be prepared to unearth fake sommeliers who should know there was no grand cru chardonnay produced by Chateau Wagga-Wagga in 1953. - If being chased while swimming in a lagoon, be prepared to MacGyver a breathing tube from nearby weeds. But don’t call it MacGyvering. He wouldn’t last ten minutes against SPECTRE. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/23 "2020-09-10T20:14:01Z")
Don’t be the first woman Bond sleeps with on a mission. Not if you want to live. ---
**Author:** ![drad\_dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/24 "2020-09-10T20:23:14Z")
Bond always orders at least 6 rashers. For an American it sounded like he was Gargantua. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/25 "2020-09-10T20:23:41Z")
**COROLLARY:** Don’t store cannisters of rocket fuel inside your secret control room, no matter how tempting that might be. ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/26 "2020-09-10T20:46:20Z")
> Q: I’ve always tried to teach you two Things. First, never let them see you bleed. > James Bond: And the second? > Q: Always have an escape plan. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/27 "2020-09-10T20:47:25Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > **COROLLARY:** Don’t store cannisters of rocket fuel inside your secret control room, no matter how tempting that might be. Criminy - Spectre in YOLT would be the poster boy for unsafe work environments! They lauch a rocket in THE SAME ROOM! And land it! How safe exactly was one of those Spectre snatch and grab spacecraft to fly? Did they do sufficient tests? How many landings did they do to qualify the rocket for flight? Did they test their life support system? Did they have sufficient redundancy? If the pilots thought it was unsafe to fly, did Bloefeld listen to their concerns and make changes, or did he feed them to the sharks (with out without laser beams) and get the next pilots in line? Speaking of, if in 1967 Spectre had a spacecraft that could take off and land, on earth, with no refueling, AND had the payload capacity seen in the film, they could have been far richer going legit than thet ever could have been using terrorism revenge or extortion. Bloefeld would be remembered as a bigger space travel entrepeneur than Elon Musk. Heck, we don’t have the capability of the SPECTRE ship NOW 50 years later. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/28 "2020-09-10T20:53:19Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Speaking of, if in 1967 Spectre had a spacecraft that could take off and land, on earth, with no refueling, AND had the payload capacity seen in the film, they could have been far richer going legit than thet ever could have been using terrorism revenge or extortion. That’s the trouble with you lesser villains. Always looking for the easy & legit short-cut to success. Nobody understands that crime is its own reward. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/29 "2020-09-10T20:55:46Z")
You should introduce yourself: Surname, given name, surname again. If you’re the Good Guy, It’s perfectly safe for you to drive at speed through markets, bazaars, shopping arcades and cafes; somehow, innocent people will just get out of the way in time; at worst, a few bystanders will get comically drenched by jumping into nearby fountains or rivers, people working at height will manage to grab onto some overhanging object when you knock their ladder away. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/30 "2020-09-10T20:58:07Z")
Your most unlikely antics will cure at least one alcoholic who watches them, then looks incredulously at the bottle from which he was drinking, and pours the contents on the ground. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/31 "2020-09-10T21:01:30Z")
There is, somewhere, an academy which specializes in training countless henchmen for employment by evil geniuses. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/32 "2020-09-10T21:03:44Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > That’s the trouble with you lesser villains. Always looking for the easy & legit short-cut to success. Nobody understands that crime is its own reward. [Number Two](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001822/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): Over the last thirty years, Virtucon has grown by leaps and bounds. About fifteen years ago, we changed from volatile chemicals to the communication industry. We own cable companies in thirty-eight states. [the thirty-eight states illuminate on a map] [Number Two](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001822/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): In addition to our cable holdings, we own a steel mill in Cleveland. [a steel mill miniature illuminates in Cleveland] [Number Two](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001822/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): Shipping in Texas. [a ship off the coast of Texas illuminates] [Number Two](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001822/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): Oil refineries in Seattle. [an oil refinery illuminates in Seattle] [Number Two](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001822/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): And a factory in Chicago that makes miniature models of factories. … [Number Two](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001822/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): Don’t you think we should ask for _more_ than a million dollars? A million dollars isn’t exactly a lot of money these days. Virtucon alone makes over 9 billion dollars a year! [Dr. Evil](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000196/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): Really? That’s a lot of money. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/33 "2020-09-10T21:05:36Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > There is, somewhere, an academy which specializes in training countless henchmen for employment by evil geniuses. Probably part of trump university. I mean, look how useless they are! Don’t they teach them anything? Sure, they could beat _me_ up, kill me, but when it comes down to the real fight, they fold like cheap suits. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/34 "2020-09-10T21:20:39Z")
Olin Mk VI Comp SL’s are _bad-ass_ skis! ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/35 "2020-09-10T21:47:54Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > If the pilots thought it was unsafe to fly, did Bloefeld listen to their concerns and make changes, or did he feed them to the sharks (with out without laser beams) and get the next pilots in line? Nitpick: in _You Only Live Twice_, it was piranhas. Sharks were used in _Thunderball_, _The Spy Who Loved Me_, _For Your Eyes Only_, and _Licence to Kill_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2020, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/36 "2020-09-10T23:16:08Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Matt Helm (of the novels, not the excretable films) I rather think you meant execrable, or maybe not? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2020, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/37 "2020-09-11T00:02:37Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > an academy which specializes in training countless henchmen How can they crank out graduates so quickly? Because they skip the marksmanship classes. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2020, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/38 "2020-09-11T00:05:55Z")
> [@bob\_2](#): > > I rather think you meant execrable, or maybe not? Thank you, my spell check agrees. ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2020, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/39 "2020-09-11T00:32:00Z")
To be fair Blofeld’s entire plan in YOLT was to cause a nuclear war between the two superpowers (hence the stealing of each nations spacecraft and making them think it was the other) so that when the radioactive dust settles that would leave him and his criminal organization with the manpower and muscle to outright take over the world. They didn’t care about profits. Which is why in the movie immediately after OHMSS Blofelds entire plan is basically try to inherit a bunch of money by pretending to be part of a noble lineage while also trying to brainwash supermodels into releasing anthrax into livestock fields to hold the major nations food supplies under blackmail, he realized he had to start smaller. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2020, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276/40 "2020-09-11T03:47:56Z")
We saw that in _ **From Russia with Love** _. The late Donald “Red” Grant was a graduate. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-lessons-of-james-bond-movies/920276.md?page=3)