# What are the Ten Commandments for Zombies? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 14, 2010, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170 "2010-06-14T18:03:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170/1 "2010-06-14T18:03:46Z")
If the bible was for and about zombies (and I’m not toally convinced it isn’t), what commandments would be on the tablets? Honor thy Father’s and Mother’s BRAAAIIINZZZ! ---
**Author:** ![SevenOfTeemingMillions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@SevenOfTeemingMillions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SevenOfTeemingMillions)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170/2 "2010-06-14T18:39:13Z")
Thou shalt not eat thy fellow zombie. ---
**Author:** ![HenryGale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b782af/32.png) [@HenryGale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HenryGale)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170/3 "2010-06-14T19:22:30Z")
Thou shalt covet (and summarily devour) they neighbor’s brains. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170/4 "2010-06-14T20:38:17Z")
Remember the _Day of the Dead_ and keep it holy. ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170/5 "2010-06-15T17:40:36Z")
Thou shalt have no other zombies before you (shuffle a little faster). ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170/6 "2010-06-15T17:46:04Z")
IMO the number one one is (because why WOULDNT they do it?) Thou shall not run. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170/7 "2010-06-15T17:54:53Z")
Thou shalt not take the lord’s name in BRAINS! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170/8 "2010-06-15T17:59:49Z")
Honour thy father and mother, for they are especially delicious. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170/9 "2010-06-15T18:02:32Z")
Thou shalt not covet brazed brains. Raw ones are much more delicious. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170/10 "2010-06-15T18:05:56Z")
Thou shall not steal BRAAAAAAAINZZZZZZ ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170/11 "2010-06-15T18:15:20Z")
Thou shalt not speak, unlesseth it is to speaketh thy Holy Word, BRAINS. Thou shalt not rendth and cheweth thy victims flesh without giving a Moan to the almighty Zombie who brought you to this enlightened state. Thou shalt not change clothes. Thou shalt rot. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170/12 "2010-06-15T19:03:29Z")
Thou shalt not commit adultery, for no one really wants to see zombie sex. Thou shalt commit murder, if it means more braiiiiiiins to eat. Thou shalt shamble. Thou shalt relentlessly hunt thy prey. Thou shalt pursue curvaceous young women whenever possible. Thou shalt corner thy prey in an abandoned mall, mountain cabin, castle or other such isolated place. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, for thou shalt not speak much at all, but for thy constant refrain, “Braiiiiiiiiins!” Thou shalt pay no heed to thy fellow zombie who is decapitated or has his head blown clear off, unless thou shalt turn and immediately feast on his braiiiiiiins. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170/13 "2010-06-15T19:06:26Z")
1. Brains. 2. Brains. 3. Brains. 4. Brains. 5. Remember the laws of physics and thou art bound by them regardless of what the director seems to think. 6. Brains. 7. Brains. 8. No loitering. 9. Brains. 10. Do unto others as you would have brains… ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170/14 "2010-06-15T20:07:25Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Thou shalt not commit adultery, for no one really wants to see zombie sex. Rule 34. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-ten-commandments-for-zombies/543170/15 "2010-06-16T21:29:39Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Rule 34. Does that include the “head giving head” scene in RE-ANIMATOR? I actually got my best girl buddy to watch the movie by telling her there was such a scene! She is so cool!