# What are the various scams that one should watch out for on dating sites? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 17, 2018, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056 "2018-07-17T01:43:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056/41 "2018-07-20T22:29:29Z")
“Men and gays”??? ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056/42 "2018-07-20T23:38:28Z")
Does it count as a scam if all one party wants is to talk the other party into sex and has no intent to get involved in a dating relationship? Maybe we’d call that a ‘sexie’. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056/43 "2018-07-21T00:07:31Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > “Men and gays”??? well, people and Urbanredneck sometimes just say stupid things…or he’s homophobic. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056/44 "2018-07-21T00:57:11Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > Does it count as a scam if all one party wants is to talk the other party into sex and has no intent to get involved in a dating relationship? Maybe we’d call that a ‘sexie’. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056/45 "2018-07-21T01:23:07Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > :rolleyes: 😕 ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056/46 "2018-07-21T01:47:59Z")
Some people on dating sites, both men and (surprisingly to me) women, are quite open in their profile about the fact that they’re just looking for “hook ups”. But if you pretend you’re looking for a relationship when you’re really just looking for sex, I’d call that a scam. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056/47 "2018-07-21T02:30:20Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > “Men and gays”??? Needs repeated. ETA: seriously? WTevelovingF? ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056/48 "2018-07-21T03:22:59Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > “Men and gays”??? Sorry, could have phrased that better. I just didnt want this to seem like I was targeting women. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056/49 "2018-07-21T03:25:06Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > Some people on dating sites, both men and (surprisingly to me) women, are quite open in their profile about the fact that they’re just looking for “hook ups”. But if you pretend you’re looking for a relationship when you’re really just looking for sex, I’d call that a scam. The article actually mentions just that. Where one person is just looking for sex, another is just looking for a free meal, yet both dangle the hope of a relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056/50 "2018-07-21T16:36:40Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Sorry, could have phrased that better. I just didnt want this to seem like I was targeting women. So wait, are gay men “real men” or not? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056/51 "2018-07-21T17:23:24Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > The article actually mentions just that. > Where one person is just looking for sex, another is just looking for a free meal, yet both dangle the hope of a relationship. It presents both, but in your opinion only the one looking for a meal is the scam. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056/52 "2018-07-23T03:33:21Z")
I wanted to toss this in because it’s something I just witnessed firsthand a couple of days ago and it made balance things out a little bit here. I was in Cleveland videotaping a conference. One of the key presenters who was to have appeared died suddenly about 3 months ago. He was to have been given an award for decades of work in this field of study. His wife showed up and gave a thoughtful but somewhat emotional speech. She started the speech by saying that they met on eHarmony perhaps 8 or 10 years ago and they were madly in love from the moment they first connected. This is probably pretty rare for online dating sites but I have no reason to think that it was not 100% real and 100% touching. This stuff does happen. ---
**Author:** ![albino\_manatee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/albino_manatee/32/2_2.png) [@albino\_manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/albino_manatee)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2020, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056/55 "2020-04-23T14:14:16Z")
if you ask me … the old adage _ **"if it’s too good to be true … it probably is"** _ rings true. females typically get between 7-8 times as many responses than we male counterparts … hence, the number of illicit responses also increases exponentially. if you take one suggestion outta’ my reply … it’d be to find someone face-to-face … rather than dating website. p.s. if i was living in texas and came across a member in california … i’d never consider relocating. as to the other four indigents who think you are _‘darling’_ … so funny. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2020, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056/56 "2020-04-23T18:05:47Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > The fact that this Texas guy is not listening to your concerns and you’re coming here kinda trying to make sure you’re not just being silly is a red flag for me. > [@PookahMacPhellimey](#): > > I agree with ZipperJJ. Even if Texas guy is not a scam, he’s being pushy and not very nice. Someone who doesn’t care about your legitimate concerns is to be ruled out even if he isn’t a scam. > [@susan](#): > > You don’t need to respond to or explain yourself to anyone who’s alarming you. Period. All of this and the similar things posted by other people. Online or not online, if somebody’s trying to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do: run! Even if it’s small things, unless there’s clearly a good reason. Some people are looking for a person they can push around, and think that if they can push you on little things then they probably can (eventually if not immediately) on big ones. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2020, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056/57 "2020-04-23T18:31:10Z")
_Brains, brains._ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-various-scams-that-one-should-watch-out-for-on-dating-sites/818056.md?page=2)