# What are the words to "Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 3, 2003, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787 "2003-03-03T17:39:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/61 "2003-03-10T12:13:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KRC \* > \*\*We got away with singing that stuff in the 70’s but I don’t know how well it would go over today. \*\* It worked in the 80’s as well. I forgot to add a few others in my last post. The Christmas song versions: \*Joy to the world, the school blew up And all the teachers died. Except for the principal, who’s hanging on the flagpole With a rope around his neck, with a rope around his neck With a rope, a rope around his neck. \* And then there’s this little gem: _Deck the halls with gasoline. Fa la la la… Strike a match and watch it gleam. Fa la la la… Watch the school house burn to ashes. Fa la la la… Aren’t you glad you played with matches. Fa la la la…_ ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/62 "2003-03-10T12:39:30Z")
Incidentally, the guy who wrote on top of spaghetti died a week or so ago. Not to long after Fred Rogers. As far as the worm song, this is how we learned it: You may laugh when the hearse goes by but you may be the next one to die. They’ll wrap you up in a nice clean sheet And bury you about six feet deep. They’ll put you in a wooden box And cover you up with dirt and rocks. And all goes good for about a week, Until the coffin begins to leak! Then… The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out And they play pinochle on your snout. They eat your clothes, they eat your hat, They crawl in skinny, they come out fat. They eat your eyes, they eat your nose They eat the jelly between your toes. The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out They eat your guts and then spit them out. They use your bones as telephones and call you up but you’re no longer at home A great big worm with rolling eyes, Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes, Your stomach turns a slimy green, And pus pours out like whipping cream. You spread it on a slice of bread, And that’s what worms eat when you’re dead. ---
**Author:** ![waddamaroon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/41988e/32.png) [@waddamaroon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waddamaroon)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/63 "2003-03-11T04:30:46Z")
Wow! I missed the whole freakin’ song.:smack: ---
**Author:** ![MisterThyristor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecccb3/32.png) [@MisterThyristor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MisterThyristor)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/64 "2003-03-13T07:09:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by waddamaroon \* > \*\* > MisterThyrister-is that Hoagy Carmichael? Or what? \*\* I was quoting it from memory and apparently got it wrong – it’s “where the fellers chew tobaccy” and it was written by Mort Dixon to music by Harry Warren. The lyrics can be found [here](http://www.harrywarren.org/songs/0362.htm). I think it has been performed over the years by several groups, I can’t remember where I heard it, probably from my father. That’s probably where I also learned the following two verses to “My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean”: My Bonnie looked into a gas tank, A cistern she thought it to be. She lighted a match to see better, Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me! My Bonnie went looking for mushrooms, Some toadstools she happened to see. She had them last night for her supper, Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me! ---
**Author:** ![TGWATY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@TGWATY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TGWATY)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/65 "2003-03-13T20:07:48Z")
The way I learned it, it was a song about the enemy: **girls** (tune of “Old Gray Mare”) Girls are made of greasy, grimey gopher guts French fried parakeet Hard-boiled monkey’s feet Bloody eyeballs rolling down a dirty street (The last line is spoken ominously.) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/66 "2003-03-13T21:02:39Z")
**Rand** my child version of Ol’ Smokey went" On top of ol’ smokey All covered in blood I shot my dear teacher With a .44 slug. I shot her with pleasure I shot her with pride I could not have missed her She’s 40 feet wide. ---
**Author:** ![kellyj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dec6dc/32.png) [@kellyj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellyj)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/67 "2010-09-29T03:48:00Z")
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts mutilated mokey meet, little dirty terdy feet French fried eyeballs sitting in a cooler, but I forgot my spoon… so they gave me a scab sandwich with mustard on top eagle eyeballs and camel snots all these things don’t fit in a pot, so they gave me puke with a cherry on top…bop! This was a hand game for two people, and who ever hit the other person on the head first when you say “bop” wins. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/59ef9b/32.png) [@FlyingRat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRat)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/68 "2010-09-29T09:59:43Z")
I don’t even remember when I learned this version, which falls under the “straw+extra” section of the taxonomy: Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts Mutilated monkey meat Shredded baby parakeet Stir-fried eyeballs rollin’ down a dirty street I forgot my spoon, but not my straw! _slurp_ Aaah! (invariably followed by: ) Alka-Seltzer to the rescue! Plop plop, fizz fizz, OH what a relief it is! Does anyone else remember the “Baby Bumblebee” song? Starts off like this: I’m pickin’ up a baby bumblebee Won’t my mommy be so proud of me? I’m pickin’ up a baby bumblebee– Ow! It stung me! My husband and I both learned this song as kids but he was horrified at how gross mine was. (involves not wiping, but licking off the bumblebee, and goes from there) ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/69 "2010-09-29T11:43:12Z")
This is the version we sang in my tenure as a Girl Scout: Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts, Mutilated monkey meat, little piggies’ hairy feet, all mixed up with snot and eyeballs, floating in a barrel of pus. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/70 "2010-09-29T12:51:06Z")
> [@Linus\_Van\_Pelt](#): > > Hmmm. Anybody else find it ineresting that there is _no_ variation in the first line, and almost no variation in the second? (Yes, I know I’m responding to a seven-year-old post) The version I knew as a kid went: _Girls are made of_ greasy, grimy gopher guts Chopped-up monkey meat Concentrated birdies’ feet French fried eyeballs swimming in a pool Ain’t that a bloody treat? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/71 "2010-09-29T13:21:46Z")
Zombie guts lyrics ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/72 "2010-09-29T14:00:25Z")
My sister and I changed the lyrics to suit us, and I’ve forgotten the version we actually learned. Our version was: [sung] _Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts, mutilated monkey meet, two little birdie feet. Top it of with something tasting really sweet. Eat it for a midnight snack._[/sung] [ed: remember the old Campbells’ Soup commercials? this line is spoken] _And don’t forget the spoon 'cuz it’s mm-mm GOOD!_ ETA: My first response to a known zombie thread, too. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/73 "2010-09-29T14:22:12Z")
mmm…zombie guts nobody has entered this into [thread=541744]What Song(s) Do You Want Played At Your Funeral? [/thread] ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/74 "2010-09-29T14:39:53Z")
We’re leaving zombies – even those with greasy grimy gopher guts – open these days. I also don’t see a need to move this to Cafe Society – though a “song,” it’s not really about music as much as it is about nostalgia. Thanks for your reports, **twickster** for the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/75 "2010-09-29T22:03:04Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > In the great green globs of gishy gooey gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat, fried up birdie feet, > and all size cans of all purpose porpoise puss > and me without my spoon… End with: \*…floating in pink champagne! YUM!\* ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/76 "2010-09-29T22:51:58Z")
Interesting. It seems that the first two lines are mostly the same across variants but the biggest diversion is always in the third line. Anyway, here’s how we sung it in the 1970’s: Great big gobs of greasy, grimy, gopher guts Mutilated monkey meat Dirty little birdie’s feet All topped off with vibrating vulture vomit And I forgot my spoon. Can’t believe nobody else had the “vibrating vulture vomit” in their version. Much like rotating meat, vomit is always better to eat when moving, or in this case, _vibrating_. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/77 "2010-09-30T01:31:36Z")
ooey gooey green grimy gopher guts chopped up monkey’s feet percolated birdy turd french-fried eyeballs dipped in a pool of blood get it at your favourite store the spoon is freeeeeeeeeee. ---
**Author:** ![fancydarlin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ac91a4/32.png) [@fancydarlin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fancydarlin)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/78 "2013-02-14T13:06:33Z")
[quote=“Hoopy\_Frood, post:39, topic:158787”] \*\* Did that one when I was younger: Sung to the tune of the Colonel Bogie March from Bridge on the River Kwai _Comet! It makes your teeth turn green! Comet! It tastes like gasoline. Comet! It makes you vomit. So grab some comet and vomit today._ I heard the next part like this: Vomit it makes your teeth turn blue Vomit it tastes like elmers glue Vomit it tastes like comet So get some vomit and comet today. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/79 "2013-02-14T13:33:08Z")
> [@Stentor](#): > > Can antone help me out here? I wish Antone would answer him already. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/80 "2013-02-14T15:19:30Z")
The version I heard: Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts Mutilated monkey meat Marinated chicken feet All served up on a piece of yummy Wonder bread But Malthus forgot his spoon! (… but he brought a strawwwwww) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787.md?page=5)