# What are the words to "Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 3, 2003, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787 "2003-03-03T17:39:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2015, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/101 "2015-11-09T16:29:22Z")
It’s “mutilated monkey meat, amputated doggy feet”, people! Please! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2015, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/102 "2015-11-10T01:05:15Z")
Some of the songs we sang when I was a child would get us expelled now. Tra-la-la boom de ay We have no school today Our teacher passed away We shot him yesterday. We threw him in the bay He scared the sharks away Tra-la-la boom de ay We have no school today. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school We have tortured every teacher We have broken every rule. We even killed the principal But had didn’t care Because he had no hair. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2015, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/103 "2015-11-10T01:31:19Z")
**petcat** already said it: [QUOTE=petcat] Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts Doubleposted what a putz, dopers all a little nuts, hamsters working, each’n every day and night, and I forgot my cite. [/QUOTE] Hah! **Baker** , you posted your songs already in this 3 time Zombie thread! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2015, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/104 "2015-11-10T02:38:57Z")
The ending is “and me without my spoon” just for clarification as there seems to be some confusion on this. As usual the rest of the lyrics have always been free flowing and some what changeable as a child’s game of telephone, but the only way one cold ever associate the song is again by the lyrics “and me without my spoon”. If someone else is stating otherwise they need to be detained in a mental heath facility for their own well being and that of the rest of society. ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2015, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/105 "2015-11-11T01:18:30Z")
“…mutilated monkey meat, percolated stinky feet.” Canon. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2015, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/106 "2015-11-12T21:30:01Z")
> [@White SIFL](#): > > And when were feeling naughty: > > She was coming around the mountain > Doing ninety miles an hour > When the chain on her motorcycle broke. > She was laying in the grass > With the tailpipe up her ass > And her titties playing Dixie on the spokes. The way I heard it (suburban Cleveland circa 1970): She’ll be comin’ ‘round the mountain about 90 When the chain on her motorcycle slips She’ll be drivin’ up the grass With the muffler up her ass… (if there was any more, I missed it, as copious laughter had ensued) As for the ditty that inspired the thread, this was my friend Ken’s version: School is made of Greasy grimy gopher guts Mutilated monkeys’ meat Swimming around in a toilet seat French-fried eyeballs Swimmin’ around in a pool of blood, And I ain’t got no spoon! ---
**Author:** ![UpYers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a9a28c/32.png) [@UpYers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UpYers)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2016, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/107 "2016-03-18T06:26:07Z")
When I was a kid in the '70’s here in Nor Cal, we used a version of this song to describe kids we didn’t like. For example, a group of us might get together on the playground to loudly voice our distain for the class bully by inserting his/her name into the song. Let’s call her “Sharon.” Sharon’s made of green gushy gopher guts Chopped up monkey meat Marinated birdie feet French fried eyeballs Boiled in a pot of goo All for you in Sharon stew! We also had a version of the “Comet Song” Comet, it makes your teeth turn green Comet, it makes your eyes turn red Comet, it makes you vomit So get some Comet and vomit today! And a version of the “Popeye” theme: I’m Popeye the sailor man I live in a garbage can I pull down my pants And I eat the ants Yes I’m Popeye the sailor man! ---
**Author:** ![UpYers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a9a28c/32.png) [@UpYers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UpYers)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2016, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/108 "2016-03-19T05:07:44Z")
> [@UpYers](#): > > When I was a kid in the '70’s here in Nor Cal, we used a version of this song to describe kids we didn’t like. > For example, a group of us might get together on the playground to loudly voice our distain for the class bully by inserting his/her name into the song. Let’s call her “Sharon.” > > Sharon’s made of green gushy gopher guts > Chopped up monkey meat > Marinated birdie feet > French fried eyeballs > Boiled in a pot of goo > All for you in Sharon stew! > > We also had a version of the “Comet Song” > Comet, it makes your teeth turn green > Comet, it makes your eyes turn red > Comet, it makes you vomit > So get some Comet and vomit today! > > And a version of the “Popeye” theme: > I’m Popeye the sailor man > I live in a garbage can > I pull down my pants > And I eat the ants > Yes I’m Popeye the sailor man! This next fun song is sung to the tune of the Rolling Stones’ “Satisfaction” and again, we’ll use the name of the bully as “Sharon” Sharon gives you heart-a-heart burn Sharon gives you heart-a-heart burn Sharon, give you iiiiiiindigestion Sharon, give you iiiiiiindigestion Sharon makes you want Alka Seltzer Sharon makes you want Pepto Bismol, too Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeeeeaaaahhhh! ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2016, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/109 "2016-03-19T10:15:00Z")
Anyone else remember this one?.. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the lord He is tearing down the alley in a 1950 Ford With one hand on the wheel and the other on a bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beeeeeeeeeeer (proceed to teacher striking me with a linear measuring device) mmm ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2016, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/110 "2016-03-19T22:44:51Z")
The version I learned in the Girl Scouts was: Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts Mutilated monkey feet Eensy weensy birdie feet French fried eyeballs dipped in gasoline And I forgot my spoon But I brought a straw - SLLLLLUUUUURP! ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2016, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787/111 "2016-03-21T22:45:10Z")
Looking over theses 13 years (why was this resurrected, anyway?) of variations, none of them have the key line. Variations are fine, but the key line is the one that makes the whole point of the song, and is thus non-negotiable. In this case, the whole point of the song was the well known “fact” that Jell-o is made of disgusting leftovers from animal processing. The next to the last line has to be “All mixed up in one big Jell-o” Also, the variations of i didn’t have/i forgot my spoon? That’s the stinkin’ punchline. When you reach the punchline, you stop. You don’t add anything about straws. Or chopsticks. [Knowing when to stop](http://h2g2.com/entry/A87830706) > [@](#): > > Is this a joke? If you’ve hit the punchline, you’re there. Stop stop stop, before you kill the fun. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-words-to-great-green-gobs-of-greasy-grimy-gopher-guts/158787.md?page=5)