# What are the worst movies you've ever seen? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 26, 2003, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739 "2003-02-26T21:46:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/101 "2003-02-28T17:41:11Z")
I HATE SANTA SANGRE ---
**Author:** ![Fingolfin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eada6e/32.png) [@Fingolfin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fingolfin)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/102 "2003-02-28T17:58:18Z")
Wha cho talkin’ bout Willis? **Santa Sangre** was awesome! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/103 "2003-02-28T19:10:08Z")
::leaping up and launching myself at **Fingolfin** ; taking him to the ground, and staring wildly in his eyes:: **listenyoustupidjerkitwasahorriblemovieandunlessyouadmitthatrightnowi’mgoingtoripoutyourlungssautetheminkungpaosauceandmakeyouchokethemdownwithasideoffreshheadcheeseandhogssphincter!!!** GGGGGGAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I HATE SANTA SANGRE!!! ---
**Author:** ![Violin\_D\_Ingrate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/898d66/32.png) [@Violin\_D\_Ingrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violin_D_Ingrate)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/104 "2003-02-28T19:11:04Z")
I hate to be redundant, but I have to offer second votes for both **Jeepers Creepers** and **The Thin Red Line**. I used to always get annoyed when people would remark about a movie “Well, that’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back”. I thought it was a stupid thing to say. After watching Thin Red Line, I stand corrected. I actually thought that during the movie. I thought about taking a nap, but the bombs kept startling me. The movie is just very very bad war poetry read over gorgeous but bloody cinematography. When the one soldier got that one letter, (don’t know how to make spoilers) I had to laugh out loud, it was so corny and stupid. BTW, I had not yet seen SPR when I saw this movie, so it’ snot like I was comparing the two. Bad, Bad, Bad Jeepers Creepers was pointless and ridiculous, but not in a funny, campy way. The plot had big holes, and didn’t make sense, and the characters were idiots and made unrealistic choices. ---
**Author:** ![AuntPam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@AuntPam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntPam)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/105 "2003-02-28T19:56:27Z")
Blue Velvet: you can drive a supertanker thru the plot holes. Laura Dern as sex symbol? She’s actually Grotesque in her crying scene (“Someone take that out of here, " you think, " no one should be allowed to be that ugly in public.”) Barry Lyndon: Stanley Kubrick manages to make the dissolution of a nineteenth century rake both interminably boring AND completely pointless. Just when you think you’re going to scream if SOMETHING doesn’t happen, it does. The closing credits roll. However, as far as the plot goes, STILL nothing has happened. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/106 "2003-02-28T21:26:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Barry Lyndon: Stanley Kubrick manages to make the dissolution of a nineteenth century rake both interminably boring AND completely pointless. Just when you think you’re going to scream if SOMETHING doesn’t happen, it does. The closing credits roll. However, as far as the plot goes, STILL nothing has happened. Naaw, Barry gets his comeuppance, even though it’s a long time coming. Anyway, it’s gorgeously filmed, and exerted such a romantic spell that the woman who saw it with me practically molested me on the Metro home, eventually staying with me for ten years of a mostly wonderful romance. For those results alone it’s gotta be one of my favorite films. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/107 "2003-02-28T21:47:34Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. Freejack - Emilio Esteves and Mick Jagger face off! Who thought this was a good idea? And did anyone ever notice, (those of you unfortunate enough to have sat through this movie), that in the scene where Emilio is running up the stairs of his old home, he runs up about seven flights of stairs, while the outside shot was of a TWO-story building! I just thought I’d point out that this is another movie ostensibly based on a book by Robert Sheckley that was actually pretty good ( **Immortalty, Inc.** , AKA **Immortality Delivered** ). As usual, nothing of he book survives. There have been quite a few movies nominally based on Sheckley’s work that have been universaly awul. He’s also been ripped off shamelessly (I swear that mst of **Total Recall** derives not from Philip K. Dick’s story, but from Sheckley’s “The Status Civilization”. Stephen King’s “The Running Man” seems to owe a lot to “The Prize of Peril”, and moe than one person has pointed out the incedble similarity between “The Hitchiker’s Guide” and Sheckley’s “Dimension of Miracles”.) ---
**Author:** ![Roadfood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@Roadfood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadfood)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/108 "2003-02-28T22:00:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hamlet \* > **Roadfood, I admire somebody going out on a limb and taking on the status quo. However, you are wayyyyyy off base about L.A. Confidential. It was one of the best films I’ve seen in the last decade. What you call a forgetable plot, I call a well-woven script that involves numerous story lines, and a fantastic payoff. What you call morally bankrupt characters, I call realistic portrayals. Heck, a good part of the movie was about these “bankrupt” people searching for some kind of redemption. Despite Bassinger’s piss poor acting, I actually cared what happened to the characters and how they were going to resolve the issues. I think you’re a bit off if you even mention this movie in the same thread as some of the other crap.** Interesting that you first take me to task for hating a movie that you thought was excellent, and then go on to say how much you **HATE** a movie that others thought was excellent. There’s no accounting for taste, and it’s **all** just a matter of opinion. I didn’t hate _L.A. Confidential_ as much as you seemingly hate _Santa Sangre_, but I found it vacuous and forgettable, and I never cared one whit what happened to any of the characters. That doesn’t make me “way off base” any more than you’re off base for hating _Santa Sangre_. I have no problem with you liking _L.A. Confidential_, and to some extent I appreciate you sharing **why** you liked it, but I do feel that saying I’m “a bit off” for having a different opinion is a bit unfair. ---
**Author:** ![psiekier](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psiekier/32/116_2.png) [@psiekier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psiekier)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/109 "2003-02-28T22:44:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Manatee \* > \*\*“Congo.” > > What a waste of celluloid. \*\* Hey, Bruce Campbell was in that! :mad: > [@](#): > > - RikWriter suggested\* > **McHale’s Navy** Hey, Bruce Campbell was in that, too! :mad: :mad: Actually, Campbell himself said, “the movies that are the easiest to make are the hardest to watch.” By his own standards, _ **Assault on Dome 4** _ and _ **Moontrap** _ were pretty easy to make. Those DFW Dopers who know me well will remember that I typically bring up two awful movies: My archetypal bad movie is _ **Krull** _. What a crock of shit - and we’re talking about a movie that came out when other flicks like _ **Metalstorm: the Destruction of Jared-Syn** _ and _ **MegaForce** _ were all the rage. [sub][Those last two are also awful, BTW][/sub] I also often bring up _ **Titan A.E.** _. Look, if you guys are trying to make American anime, get your ass out of Blockbuster’s “Disney” section and rent some _real_ animated films. You can start by watching _Princess Mononoke_ and _Heavy Metal_ back-to-back, then go from there… … just stay away from _ **Violence Jack** _, which is my archetype for very bad anime. > [@](#): > > _DeVena wrote_ > \*\*…and the runner up? > > StripTease with Demi Moore > > How can a movie about strippers NOT be sexy? puh-lease\*\* When Pandora Peaks can’t save your movie with her boobs, you’re doing something _seriously_ wrong. The same is true of Natasha Henstridge, which is why I couldn’t understand how _ **Species 2** _ could be as bad as it was. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/110 "2003-02-28T22:48:04Z")
I much as I love Dave Foley, [The Wrong Guy](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0120536) was complete and utter shite. ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/111 "2003-02-28T23:09:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Joe\_Cool \* > **My votes for absolute worst ever: > Ben: A lunatic/loser sits in his house and befriends a herd (swarm? flock? clutch? Actually, I think the technical term is ‘shitload’) of rats.** Strange you should mention that as a concept, since just last night while I was watching television I saw an ad for an upcoming movie ‘Willard’ which has the exact same plot. Looking at IMDB I am stunned to discover that Willard is such a wonderful idea for a movie, and such a cult classic, that they’ve made it twice now. [Willard (2003)](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0310357) [Willard (1971)](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0067991) Both Willards and Ben are the product of the same author, [Gilbert Ralston](http://us.imdb.com/Name?Ralston,%20Gilbert). ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/112 "2003-02-28T23:48:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Evil Captor \* > **My intelligence is being insulted by a guy who’s named himself after a cartoon monkey.** Who the fuck are you talking about? I am not named for any fucking monkey cartoon. I am named after the first president of Kenya, Jomo Kenyatta—who you have obviously never heard of. So much for your intelligence. If all you know about the world comes from watching TV, no wonder you don’t recognize the name of a great African leader like Jomo Kenyatta. Also, I disagree that movies are necessarily limited to mindless entertainment. They can be a great vehicle for intellectual stimulation and wonder. But only if you steer clear of Hollywood and Bollywood. Tarkovsky was the greatest fucking film genius ever. He was persecuted by the Soviets for his uncompromising artistic vision and his quest to take film to undreamed-of mystical and philosophical vistas. ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/113 "2003-03-01T00:18:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jomo Mojo \* > **Who the fuck are you talking about? I am not named for any fucking monkey cartoon.** “It is not the source of my name nor is it the origin! My name is not named after it nor is it named after my name!” _snicker_ I love\* the internet. \*hate ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/114 "2003-03-01T01:10:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by psiekier \* > \*\*Hey, Bruce Campbell was in that! :mad: Hey, Bruce Campbell was in that, too! :mad: :mad: > > Actually, Campbell himself said, “the movies that are the easiest to make are the hardest to watch.” By his own standards, _ **Assault on Dome 4** _ and _ **Moontrap** _ were pretty easy to make. > \*\* Where is Campbell in Congo? I tried watching it and I guess I missed him when it was on TV (I’m not gonna rent it just for his cameo). Hell, he had a pretty decent part in “Serving Sara” and THAT was pretty bad, particulary considering the best part was the joke about living “At the corner of Penny Lane and Abbey Road”. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/115 "2003-03-01T01:50:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Roadfood \* > [B That doesn’t make me “way off base” any more than you’re off base for hating _Santa Sangre_. I have no problem with you liking _L.A. Confidential_, and to some extent I appreciate you sharing **why** you liked it, but I do feel that saying I’m “a bit off” for having a different opinion is a bit unfair. \*\* First, saying that I hate _Santa Sangre_ is like saying that it’s mildly warm in the heart of the sun, or that it is a little dark in a black hole. I’m not sure if I’ve made it clear from my 8 posts here or not, but _Santa Sangre_ is only slightly less evil than Hitler. Only slightly. As to your other point, you’re right. Tastes are tastes, and I shouldn’t have called you “a bit off.” Please accept my apology. Unless you liked _Santa Sangre_ in which case I would hunt you down and kill you. But if not, I am sorry. **I** **H** ave **A** gain **T** ried to **E** xpress how much I hate **SANTA SANGRE** ---
**Author:** ![boo\_boo\_bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e4f/32.png) [@boo\_boo\_bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boo_boo_bear)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/116 "2003-03-01T02:14:30Z")
I’m going out on a limb here… **Gosford Park** I didn’t see it in the theatre, but I bought it on DVD and have tried watching it four times and I… I just can’t. The DVD has a quote that “A second visit to _Gosford Park_ is twice the fun.” I’ve visited four times and still don’t get it (and I’m a huge Altman fan… **Nashville** is in my top ten of all time and I liked **The Wedding** and even **Three Women** ). I’m also big Anglophile, having lived in the UK for three years and realizing the superiority of their cheeses over any other country… so it’s not an anti-British thing… Maybe someone here could convince me to give it a fifth try… but I doubt it… -bbb- ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/117 "2003-03-01T02:32:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jomo Mojo \* > **Who the fuck are you talking about? I am not named for any fucking monkey cartoon. I am named after the first president of Kenya, Jomo Kenyatta** Oh, of course! Everybody knows the great Kenyan presidents! :rolleyes: And was mojo his middle name? Hamlet, I can see you have a point to make, but you’re doing it a bit too subtly. What exactly are you trying to say? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/118 "2003-03-01T02:36:46Z")
So, what I’m hearing is that this “Santa Sangre” might be worth renting… ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/119 "2003-03-01T02:48:42Z")
::sneaking up behind **Dr. Fidelius** with a chainsaw and an evil look on his face:: ERGNAS ATNAS ETAH I or for the anagramers out there: SAHARA TITANS GENE ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739/120 "2003-03-01T02:57:12Z")
I’ll avoid the too easy targets of Ed Wood and other low budget schlock. Al Adamson would take too much time even with what little of his crap I’ve seen _Corky_ - The Robert Blake amatur car-racing character study. Put me in a bad mood for a week. Only worth watching now for the guilty pleasure of seeing Blake going on a shooting spree (Isaw it before his wife was killed). But the theme song was good. _Howard The Duck_ - I would have walked out but I was with my family while they were trying to have a “family night out”. Stupid beyond words. _South Of Heaven, West Of Hell_ - Dwight Yoakam writer/director/star of this shaggy dog turd of a western got a bunch of his actor buddies together and they improvised rambling bad dialog and chewed scenery in between poorly staged gunfights. What a waste of a decent cast and scenery in a pathetic vanity project. _The Lost World_ - Steven Speilberg’s dinosaur masturbation fantasy. Like an overgrown kid playing with his toys, “Rawr! Rawr! Eat 'em Mista Dinosaur!” I liked _Santa Sangre_, it’s not perfect but it’s suitably weird for my tastes. It probably could have actually benefited from being made in the 1970s, the cheap and gritty feel of the flick reminded me of low budget genre movies from that time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-movies-youve-ever-seen/157739.md?page=7)