# What are the worst songs? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 18, 2012, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663 "2012-07-18T21:15:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/81 "2012-07-24T21:31:45Z")
> [@Haunted\_Pasta](#): > > No, the songs that make me want to dig my eardrums out with the nearest fork are “Shattered” by the Rolling Stones, “Everybody Must Get Stoned” by Bob Dylan, and “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” by The Pieces of Shit. Those songs grate on me like few other sounds this side of Hell do. The Bob Dylan song is actually “Rainy Day Women #12 & 35”. I won’t comment on your opinion of the song. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/82 "2012-07-24T21:53:53Z")
> [@hamwater](#): > > I like that song. Yeah. I like a lot of these. > [@Shodan](#): > > The invaluable Dave Barry says the worst song of all time is [MacArthur Park](http://www.cs.umd.edu/~gasarch/HUMOR/worstsongs.html). I see no reason to disagree. . . . See, now that one came out while I was in the 7th grade and it seemed deep and significant. I can’t quite shake an echo of the feeling. > [@Tom\_Scud](#): > > The Chipmunks’ Christmas Song is my go-to for awful Christmas music, and I can’t actually think of anything worse from any other time of the year. This one came out when I was nearly three. I couldn’t read, so Dad put a piece of red tape on the A side to let me put it on the spindle the right side up. I don’t even want to speculate on how many times in a row my parents heard that song. > [@Caricci](#): > > Never Been To Me, by Charlene, is always my choice for worst song. Ok. That one I’ve always hated. You have me, there. When you say released, you just mean offered for sale, right? There’s no need for top 40 airplay? In that case I have the LP of the music from the **It’s a Small World** ride at Disneyland. If you tie someone up, you can leave the stack arm raised and the record player will repeat one side indefinitely. ---
**Author:** ![Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/83 "2012-07-24T23:49:20Z")
I think “Chocolate Rain” is this century’s answer to “MacArthur Park”. Both singers really seem to care (about what I have no idea)\*. \*Props to Rodney Dangerfield ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/84 "2012-07-25T00:49:54Z")
I do this in every one of these threads: Vanilla, [No way No way](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m9n5Uv0bp0) ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/85 "2012-07-25T03:22:29Z")
Why, you haven’t lived until you’ve heard [William Shatner’s version of “Mr. Tambourine Man.”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0hTtsqiFCc) Of course, you may rather not live than have to listen to it. ---
**Author:** ![Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/86 "2012-07-25T04:28:08Z")
> [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > I do this in every one of these threads: > > Vanilla, [No way No way](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m9n5Uv0bp0) Holy cow, that’s some high-test hate fuel right there. There’s not a trace of energy in front of or behind the camera. The Spice Girls weren’t very good musicians, but they (appeared to be) earnest, which covers for a lot. The late [Wesley Willis’ songs](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWWsWP9bPAg)aren’t good either, but he was sincere, which is why he’s missed by a lot of people. He was just a [big hearted schizophrenic](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wesley_Willis)man trying to control his inner demons through music. These clowns have made the worst mistake in entertainment - they’re bored and boring. And they’ve made me annoyed at the Muppets, too. Hate it, hate it, hate it! Thanks for the link. This one’s getting bookmarked. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/87 "2012-07-25T04:55:02Z")
My brother went through a stage where he would listen to Japanese pop music. I don’t know any of the names of the songs, but that is, in fact, the worst music I have ever heard. I also heard a guy cover “All the Single Ladies”, but that wasn’t so much bad as it was hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Tad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tad)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/88 "2012-07-25T05:14:20Z")
I’d say most stuff after 1989 and 99.9% of everything after 1999. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/89 "2012-07-25T05:29:02Z")
Patches. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/M_LQ4_MhDu4/hqdefault.jpg "Patches - Clarence Carter") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_LQ4_MhDu4) Seriously, the rest are really good by comparison. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/90 "2012-07-25T07:47:24Z")
Two kinds: a rap that’s bad enough without having explicit sex words in it, and all-time favorite folk/country songs adapted for disco. Those make me so mad. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/91 "2012-07-25T10:03:21Z")
> [@the\_diego](#): > > and all-time favorite folk/country songs adapted for disco. Those make me so mad. Like [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXt0G1UvolQ)? Edit - Or [this?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ui_MVLPRS4) ---
**Author:** ![DragonAsh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DragonAsh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DragonAsh)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/92 "2012-07-25T10:27:22Z")
I like a lot of John Mellencamp’s work, but Our Country…god. Hell is being stuck in a bar with a 120" big screen TV showing last year’s Chiefs-Bears game on endless replay and only Chevy TV commercials. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/93 "2012-07-25T10:53:48Z")
[“Rape”](http://www.myspace.com/peterwyngarde/music/songs/rape-23706391) by Peter Wyngarde. Both racist and misogynist. The thing is, the music is quite cool, but the lyrics and delivery? Ye gads. And that intro … Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/94 "2012-07-25T12:33:37Z")
There’s something badly askew with my sensibilities, because I like some of the worst songs mentioned! Oh, I’ll point and laugh along with everyone else, but I’ll sing along to Achey Breaky Heart in my car when I’m driving alone. I will offer up: “Shannon” by Henry Gross (about a dog, very sad) and “Wildfire” by Michael Martin Murphey (about a horse). "…she’ll be ridin’ WIIIIILD FAAAAHHRRR (repeat repeat repeat) she’ll be riding’ WIIILLLLD WIIIILDD WIIIIIIILLLLD FAAAAAHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRR!" ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/95 "2012-07-25T12:55:08Z")
> [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > I do this in every one of these threads: > > Vanilla, [No way No way](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m9n5Uv0bp0) Me too. It is utterly without redeeming value. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/96 "2012-07-25T13:49:08Z")
Any song by the execrable “Chipmunks” would have to be a contender. ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/97 "2012-07-25T15:30:05Z")
> [@pythonzzz](#): > > Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA” > > … and every other ‘artist’s’ gawd-awful attempt to screech/squawk/scream that bastard of a ‘song’. > > Please make that bad song go away. Forever. This one gets my vote too. Musically bland, incredibly insipid, stupidly blindly patriotic lyrics. No redeeming qualities whatsoever. And the lyrics don’t just communicate “yay, the US is so great!”, but it also manages to insult other countries at the same time. “And I’m proud to be an American/where at least I know I’m free”. Hey, Lee ol’ buddy, I have some shocking news for you… people are free in other countries as well! ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/98 "2012-07-26T05:24:04Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > When you say released, you just mean offered for sale, right? “Never Been to Me” wasn’t “released”–it _escaped_… ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/99 "2012-07-26T05:27:42Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Patches. > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M\_LQ4\_MhDu4](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_LQ4_MhDu4) > > Seriously, the rest are really good by comparison. Oh, I’ll see “Patches,” and raise you … “Patches”: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/a3PL7vvWbng/hqdefault.jpg "Dickey Lee - "Patches"") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3PL7vvWbng) ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663/100 "2012-07-26T12:05:29Z")
Since the most horrific pop songs of all-time have been excoriated many times previously, I will try to break (somewhat) new ground. Worst release all-time by a major group: The Who’s cover of Jan & Dean’s “Bucket T”. Dave Barry’s listing is based almost entirely on lyrics, which is unfair to songs which musically have redeeming features (like “Macarthur Park” in its original version). If you’re going for rock songs with awful lyrics, Deep Purple and Golden Earring have some of the all-time worst. _Lonely is the night without you Just as lonely as a shepherd without sheep_ - “She Flies On Strange Wings” (Golden Earring) _See the blind man, he’s shooting at the world Bullets flying, ooh taking toll If you’ve been bad - Oh Lord I bet you have And you’ve not been hit oh by flying lead You’d better close your eyes, you’d better bow your head Wait for the ricochet_ - “Sweet Child In Time” (Deep Purple) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-the-worst-songs/628663.md?page=6)