# What are "Things that should never be inserted into a vagina?" for 200 Alex. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 6, 2008, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328 "2008-05-06T19:32:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/21 "2008-05-06T20:18:27Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] A computer mouse [/quote] Funnily enough, I have porn featuring that (drawn)… > [@](#): > > Uncapped felt tip pens God help you when they come uncapped already in there… ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/22 "2008-05-06T20:26:55Z")
[QUOTE=Tengu] Copies of the Vagina Monologues (Unless they are very creatively bound…you know there is probably a market for that…) [/QUOTE] You could probably make a dildo with sections of the monologues written out in Braille. That would probably sell well with certain crowds. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/23 "2008-05-06T20:36:28Z")
Buicks Michael Jackson Joe Stalin’s brain John Dillinger’s penis. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/24 "2008-05-06T20:40:26Z")
[QUOTE=Natch!] nice cups of tea. other vaginas would be bad also. [/QUOTE] Are you saying bad cups of tea are acceptable? As for the second part, how would that even work?! ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/25 "2008-05-06T20:41:47Z")
-warp drive -starfish -business end of a pickaxe -ice skates -particle beam accelerator -suitcase nuke ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/26 "2008-05-06T21:05:35Z")
Staplers. Staple removers. Windshield wipers. Thermoses. Chandeliers. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/27 "2008-05-06T21:05:35Z")
Tesseracts Dentatas Teleportation devices Your own knee ---
**Author:** ![freekalette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/50afbb/32.png) [@freekalette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freekalette)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/28 "2008-05-06T21:26:01Z")
Car Keys Hydrochloric Acid Unicorns Freddy Krueger’s Glove Squid ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/29 "2008-05-06T21:28:36Z")
Sea urchins Dick Cheney Spare keys Your Mom ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/30 "2008-05-06T21:30:12Z")
Stainless steel pot scrubbers Jumper cables Fertilizer spikes Unfrozen bacon ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/31 "2008-05-06T21:33:27Z")
Cauliflowers Uranium Netflix envelopes Toothbrushes Salt ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/32 "2008-05-06T21:44:47Z")
Gay men ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/33 "2008-05-06T21:48:47Z")
[QUOTE=bump] Unfrozen bacon [/QUOTE] Frozen bacon Tape measures Shoes ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/34 "2008-05-06T22:00:19Z")
Fireplace bellows Yak (shaven or unshaven) Hissing cockroaches Inflatable boat Tasers (PLEASE don’t taze me, bro) ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/35 "2008-05-06T22:12:50Z")
Inflatable mattress Douche (well, maybe that’s not so bad) Heroin Inflatable love doll Typewriter Inflatable love sheep Tapeworms ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/36 "2008-05-06T22:33:10Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] Curling irons [/quote] Has actually happened. No, really. In fact, it’s rather scary, the list of things people consider to be a suitable sex toy substitute, such as: the television remote. This one actually happens rather frequently. hairspray can (it’s a bugger when the cap comes off by accident, innit?) light bulbus. You heard me. Light bulbs. kid’s miniature baseball bat pager/cell phone set to vibrate water pik car gear shift coca cola classic bottle in one particularly memorable and hilarious case… a small plastic bottle of honey. The one in the shape of a bear. Because she’d heard the term ‘honey bear’ and…yeah. Bit of a miscommunication there. My job is never boring. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/37 "2008-05-06T22:38:56Z")
[QUOTE=Maureen] Has actually happened. No, really. In fact, it’s rather scary, the list of things people consider to be a suitable sex toy substitute, such as: \ My job is never boring. [/QUOTE] Emergency room, I’m guessing? I really wish I could say I was surprised. Screws Paintbrushes Troll dolls Trolls Ink cartridges Floppy disks Stuffed animals Unstuffed animals Adjectives ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/38 "2008-05-06T22:39:43Z")
Once upon a time, yes. Now Planned Parenthood. Oh! Allow me to add: Coca cola or any carbonated beverage on the silly assed belief that it will somehow keep you from getting pregnant. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/39 "2008-05-06T22:54:13Z")
[QUOTE=Maureen] Once upon a time, yes. Now Planned Parenthood. Oh! Allow me to add: Coca cola or any carbonated beverage on the silly assed belief that it will somehow keep you from getting pregnant. [/QUOTE] It won’t? Oh, shit! ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/40 "2008-05-06T23:31:43Z")
Lobsters 42" Plasma TVs War and Peace All 6 Seasons of Sex and the City [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328.md?page=3)