# What are "Things that should never be inserted into a vagina?" for 200 Alex. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 6, 2008, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328 "2008-05-06T19:32:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/61 "2008-05-07T05:49:45Z")
[QUOTE=Manatee] Sledgehammer. [/QUOTE] What do you have against David Rasche? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/62 "2008-05-07T05:53:55Z")
Crutches Yankee stadium Jupiter The SDMB server An open umbrella A mammoth (wooly or otherwise) Candalabras A Ford Model T (Available in any color you want as long as it’s black. And once you go black…) One’s Grandparents Tears in the fabric of space and time Girl scout cookies Girl scouts Time machines The Wheel of Fortune Grapefruit spoons Pringles (in or out of the can) Stray dogs Anything that could be accurately described by the phrase “from beyond the grave” ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/63 "2008-05-07T06:00:00Z")
[QUOTE=JThunder] What do you have against David Rasche? [/QUOTE] Nothing. That’s why I specified sledgehammer and not Sledge Hammer(!). Oh yeah, and an elephant penis should never be inserted into a vagina (well, at least a human one). ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/64 "2008-05-07T06:31:18Z")
Steam irons Death gods (although that falls under the category of “beyond the grave”) Pirates Ninjas Mardi Gras beads National monuments Chimpanzees, educated or otherwise the 405 freeway at rush hour, or at any other time CD jewel cases the complete works of T. Coraghessan Boyle T. Coraghessan Boyle himself, for that matter (man, I love his name) Disney characters ice plant grapefruits a Hoover Dustette ---
**Author:** ![chicken\_wire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@chicken\_wire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chicken_wire)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/65 "2008-05-07T06:53:07Z")
-A helicopter -£100,000 -A complete set of steak knives in a presentation box. -Seven tickets to see the Brazilian National Mime Theatre at the Riverside Studios. -A little can terrier named Bobby. -One of them little black rubber things, you know them little black rubber things that go “nee nee nee nee”. -The complete memoirs of Donald Sinden… ---
**Author:** ![Paladud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Paladud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paladud)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/66 "2008-05-07T06:57:49Z")
Candiru. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/67 "2008-05-07T07:49:26Z")
twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one ---
**Author:** ![freekalette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/50afbb/32.png) [@freekalette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freekalette)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/68 "2008-05-07T11:40:02Z")
[QUOTE=Lucky 13] Ninjas [/QUOTE] I object!! My husband is a ninja. He should definitely be inserted, preferrably as often as possible. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/69 "2008-05-07T12:07:31Z")
Sticks. Especially those imbedded with rusty nails, screws, glass shards and razor wire. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/70 "2008-05-07T14:10:38Z")
[QUOTE=Sanity Challenged] 12 Drummers Drumming. [/QUOTE] Eleven lords a-leaping are right out as well. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/71 "2008-05-07T14:17:54Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **chicken wire?** > > -One of them little black rubber things, you know them little black rubber things that go “nee nee nee nee”. Ummm…what the hell is a little black rubber thing that goes “nee nee nee nee”? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/72 "2008-05-07T14:24:27Z")
Meat thermometer Hubble Space Telescope A time capsule Blacklight posters ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/73 "2008-05-07T16:15:18Z")
an ex-parrot bottle of hot sauce metal file bicycle pumps bicycle seat post scissors computer hard drive (esp. when powered) hair dryer barber’s sharpening strop Hilary Clinton the Chrysler Building ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/74 "2008-05-07T16:16:04Z")
live turkeys shower curtains yogurt ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/75 "2008-05-07T16:39:58Z")
[QUOTE=BlackKnight] yogurt [/QUOTE] Too late! ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/76 "2008-05-07T16:59:00Z")
Fire. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/77 "2008-05-07T19:13:45Z")
Vaseline jars Alternating current > **[Google](https://www.google.com/)** > > Search the world's information, including webpages, images, videos and more. Google has many special features to help you find exactly what you're looking for. Igneous rocks Napalm Anti-bacterial soap ---
**Author:** ![Hirundo82](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/919ad9/32.png) [@Hirundo82](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hirundo82)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/78 "2008-05-07T19:50:24Z")
[live grenades](http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/bizarre&id=4098439) [loaded firearms](http://www.dispatch.com/live/contentbe/dispatch/2006/02/02/20060202-B1-04.html) ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/79 "2008-05-07T22:58:19Z")
anything with a frick’n lazer beam on it’s frik’n head ---
**Author:** ![Linear\_Crack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Linear\_Crack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linear_Crack)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/80 "2008-05-08T06:33:50Z")
Mr. T [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328.md?page=5)