# What are "Things that should never be inserted into a vagina?" for 200 Alex. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 6, 2008, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328 "2008-05-06T19:32:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![chicken\_wire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@chicken\_wire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chicken_wire)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/81 "2008-05-08T06:50:26Z")
[QUOTE=pbbth] Ummm…what the hell is a little black rubber thing that goes “nee nee nee nee”? [/QUOTE] Beats me, best ask _Brian Damage Balowski_, violent and highly dangerous escaped criminal madman, it’s his list. [See here](http://www.4q.dk/a51/viewpage.php?page_id=24), about half way down. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/82 "2008-05-08T13:32:53Z")
[QUOTE=chicken wire?] One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic, One soiled. —\> (Actually, they might be OK) 😉 One black suit jacket. One pair of black suit pants. One hat, black. One pair of sunglasses. Twenty three dollars and seven cents. [/QUOTE] Four fried chickens and a Coke. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/83 "2008-05-08T13:50:59Z")
Loser Beercan Jackass Cheese Whiz Two turntables and a microphone ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/84 "2008-05-08T14:13:58Z")
dry white toast ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/85 "2008-05-08T14:43:44Z")
Shark Alligator Shark eating an Alligator Cable remote 1958 Gretsch Model 6129 Silver Jet with Bigsby Tremolo Pop Rocks ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/86 "2008-05-08T14:57:12Z")
Me, apparently ( at least that’s what the last three years have taught me) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/87 "2008-05-08T15:05:01Z")
The Larch. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/88 "2008-05-08T16:30:23Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] Meat thermometer [/QUOTE] But what if you don’t know how to take a pulse? ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/89 "2008-05-08T16:45:14Z")
Glaive Guisarme Glaive-Guisarme Halberd Awl Pike Lucern Hammer (And here I thought that list of pole arms in the old Dungeons and Dragons book would never come in handy. 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/90 "2008-05-08T17:00:02Z")
Ticks. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/91 "2008-05-08T17:35:58Z")
[QUOTE=bbs2k] But what if you don’t know how to take a pulse? [/QUOTE] Use a candy thermometer. Meat thermometer is right out. ---
**Author:** ![El\_DeLuxo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_deluxo/32/9043_2.png) [@El\_DeLuxo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_DeLuxo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/92 "2008-05-08T22:55:01Z")
**1:** DLuxN8R-13’s choad. **2:** DLuxN8R-13’s tongue. **3-22:** Any of DLuxN8R-13’s didgits. ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/93 "2008-05-08T23:05:37Z")
\*\*Mattmcl’s \*\* penis. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/94 "2008-05-08T23:14:18Z")
[QUOTE=chicken wire?] …One soiled… [/QUOTE] [golf clap] ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/95 "2008-05-08T23:36:41Z")
[QUOTE=chicken wire?] -£100,000 [/QUOTE] I think some ladies might dissent on that. Even if it’s in the form of gold bullion. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2008, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/96 "2008-05-08T23:40:40Z")
Fire hoses. Leaf blowers. Shop vacs. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2008, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/97 "2008-05-09T01:52:05Z")
maggots razorblades [solder](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solder) Actually, none of the above in any concievable combination. Really, just say no. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![chicken\_wire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@chicken\_wire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chicken_wire)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2008, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/98 "2008-05-09T05:40:45Z")
[QUOTE=outlierrn] dry white toast [/QUOTE] a cop motor a four hundred and forty cubic inch plant (that’s gotta hurt, ladies) cop tires cop suspension cop shocks and a cigarette lighter ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2008, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/99 "2008-05-09T07:10:17Z")
[QUOTE=chicken wire?] a cigarette lighter [/QUOTE] not even if it’s fixed? ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2008, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328/100 "2008-05-09T13:40:12Z")
Mad Pete Trullo. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-should-never-be-inserted-into-a-vagina-for-200-alex/448328.md?page=6)