# What are we supposed to do different now that we're Orange? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376 "2003-12-21T22:22:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/21 "2003-12-22T15:15:04Z")
I just saw the guy across the street load a can of gasoline into his trunk. I see he has the snowblower out to trick everyone he’s going to get gas. That sommabitch, where’s my .357? He kinda looks like a terrorist too, you know, he’s not white. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/22 "2003-12-22T15:46:11Z")
Little Tommy Ridge came to my house today, To put me in a tizzy an’ brush the cheer away, An’ shoo ol’ Santa off the porch, an’ make you lose yer sleep, An’ set a fire under your ass, to earn his board-an’-keep; An’ all us little childern, when the supper things is done, We set around the TV set an’ has the mostest fun A-list’nin’ to the witch-tales ‘at Tommy tells about, An’ the Terror-ists’ll git you Ef you don’t watch out! Onc’t they was a little boy wouldn’t watch CNN— So when he went to bed at night, turned out the lights an’ then, His Momma heerd him holler, an’ his Daddy heerd him bawl, An’ when they turn’t the kivvers down, he wasn’t there at all! An’ they seeked him in the rafter-room, an’ cubby-hole, an’ press, An’ seeked him up the chimbly-flue, an’ ever’wheres, I guess; But all they ever found was thist his pants an’ roundabout:— An’ the Terror-ists’ll git you Ef you don’t watch out! An’ one time a little girl ‘ud allus laugh an’ grin, When the terror code went orange, she din’t jump outta her skin An’ onc’t, when they was “company,” an’ ole folks was there, She said the war was foolish and that she din’t care! An’ thist as she kicked her heels, an’turn’t to run an’ hide, They was two great burqa’d Muslims a-standin’ by her side, An’ they snatched her through the ceilin’ fore she knowed what she’s about! An’ the Terror-ists’ll git you Ef you don’t watch out! ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/23 "2003-12-22T15:50:25Z")
Now THAT’s a good James Whitcomb Riley parody! As for the Orange alert–meh! I’m in the greater DC area, so I’m a sitting duck for a dirty nuke or a biological agent. There’s nothing I can do, and I refuse to give in to the panic our government wishes to induce. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/24 "2003-12-22T15:50:26Z")
Careful, or he’ll blow your snow off! Yeah, he’s probably a terrorist. He’s probably wearing something orange. Check his underwear while he’s clutching his wound. Betchya it’s orange. Check his snowblower for explosives. He was probably planning to blow up a sidewalk or driveway. Torch his house for good measure. Nothing like roasting terrorists by an open fire at Christmas. Hmmm, fire is orange. Glad you’re on our side **ccwaterback**. You’re the only sane one on your block. Keep up the good work. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/25 "2003-12-22T15:58:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\*Now THAT’s a good James Whitcomb Riley parody! \*\* Well, I _am_ celebrated in certain circles for my James Whitcomb Riley parodies . . . ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/26 "2003-12-22T15:59:46Z")
I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to keep buying stuff. In fact, the more money we spend, the more the government can tax. With this money, they can build more weapons to fight terror. Come on people! Spend spend spend! ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_B.Phart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Capt\_B.Phart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_B.Phart)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/27 "2003-12-22T16:28:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*Put on bowler hats and march around? \*\* Ooooh, do I get to bang the really big drum? That looks fun! (The twirly-stick thing looks a bit girly, frankly) [Rev Paisley] “The future’s bright, the future’s Orange” [/Rev Paisley] ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/28 "2003-12-22T16:33:56Z")
I can keep busy imagining the various horrible deaths I can have with my fellow New Yorkers in the subway, which in my route goes right under Grand Central Terminal! I can wonder how I’m to walk home to the northern Bronx from various locations I might find myself stranded in. I can have fun picking out the possible suicide bombers from the people in puffy jackets, which includes 90% of the populace including me. I can catch LOTR at the Battery Park theater, the one with a fine view of Ground Zero down the block, to support downtown and what are they going to do, bomb the new PATH station? I can ogle the hunky Guardsmen with the machine guns in Union Square station or smile at all the cute sniffer doggies in Penn Station. I can calculate the tax dollars the damn terrorists and Homeland Security are costing us for all this in a time of dire deficits as I pay the 18% property tax hike on my co-op every month. Or I can go right up to the tree at Rockefeller Center and watch the skaters and be happy at Christmas, with the saying “Today is a good day to die” in the back of my mind. Screw it all. Let’s live. ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/29 "2003-12-22T16:51:06Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Biggirl_ > This is asked only half-jokingly. Originally I was going to ask this as a full on joke, but then I went over to The Official Terror Alert Homepage and this is how they explained what the raise in the level means to me, personally: > [From the US Department of Homeland Security.](http://www.dhs.gov/dhspublic/) > > > [@](#): > > > > In addition to knowing that homeland security professionals at all levels are working to keep our communities safe, we ask individual Americans to do a few additional things during this time of heightened alert. I have said it before - and I am saying it again - homeland security begins at home. Never has that been more true. Your awareness and vigilance can help tremendously, so please use your common sense and report suspicious packages, vehicles, or activities to local law enforcement. > > So at Def-con yellow I, as A Good American, should be only slightly aware of and semi-viligant about suspicious things? Or does it mean I should be more suspicious of all things and when we reach Def-con Red I should be super-paranoid and abandon all common sense? This post has been oranged by the orange alert! ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/30 "2003-12-22T17:18:45Z")
Ouch, that hurts my eyes, **Gadfly**! ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/31 "2003-12-22T18:18:29Z")
Yes it’s true. They’re not after symbols of the US government or symbols of capitalism, they’re after our children!!! If you don’t have children, then keep an eye on your pets, they go after your pets too. But for the love of God, keep an eye on your children!!! I was hoping there would be some way these heartless murderers would target skyscrapers or bridges, but no, they’re after our children!!! Lord have mercy on us, take me, not my children (or my poochie)!!! If your kid had bad grades this semester, that’s the first sign there is terrorist activity going on at their school. Do something about it, don’t let the terrorist control your kid’s study habits. Keep an eye out for any unusual activity going on around your school, especially students transferring from France. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/32 "2003-12-22T18:37:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*Put on bowler hats and march around? \*\* Just like Clockwork. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/33 "2003-12-22T18:46:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diceman \* > **Go out and buy a Hummer.** Geeze, I must be really safe, I buy a hummer most weekends! They’re only 20 bucks in town… ---
**Author:** ![Intaglio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/71e660/32.png) [@Intaglio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intaglio)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/34 "2003-12-22T19:06:57Z")
Why did it take the Government a week after capturing Saddam Hussein, to go to Orange? I would have thought a Major guy as SH being taken into custody, would have prompted the alert a WEEK AGO. Thanks, for the elevated status, Merry Christmas, now it will take longer to get to Grandma’s House. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/35 "2003-12-22T19:08:18Z")
Attention! All good, American, non-terrorist citizens: this is an Orange Alert. I repeat: this is an Orange Alert. Please raise your right hand and repeat after me: Oompa Loompa doompadee doo I’ve got another puzzle for you Oompa Loompa doompadah dee If you are wise you’ll listen to me Anyone not complying with the Code Orange Pledge will be summarily terminated. ---
**Author:** ![curious\_george](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b487fb/32.png) [@curious\_george](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curious_george)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/36 "2003-12-22T19:23:09Z")
We are supposed to go about our business as usual. There have been 4 orange alerts before but no attacks happened. It’s like the sheep who cried wolf. But Ridge said this one is the biggest threat since 9-11, so I guess we are more Orange than we have ever been before. Almost orange-red? Also, Ridge said they are planning something more devastating than 9-11. Maybe they are plotting to attack a Bowl game? ---
**Author:** ![Chavardz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@Chavardz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chavardz)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/37 "2003-12-22T19:41:23Z")
Or maybe nothings going to happen. Or maybe there is but they’re gonna try and sneak it past us like it didn’t happen. Or maybe somethings goingo to happen to distract us from the real thing that’s happening. Or maybe, just maybe, three things will happen, the real one, one to divert attention from the real one, and another to divet attention from the one designed to divert our attention. Hey, what if four things happened… **CCwaterback** I’ve got a bomb shelter and a loaded anti aircraft gun. Just tell me were to point. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/38 "2003-12-22T19:46:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by curious george \* > \*\* > > Also, Ridge said they are planning something more devastating than 9-11. Maybe they are plotting to attack a Bowl game? \*\* The terrorists are probably pissed that Oklahoma is in the title game. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/39 "2003-12-22T19:58:58Z")
Orange alert! Orange alert! Orange alert! Okay, fine. You woke up [Eddy, Teddy and Freddy](http://community.webshots.com/photo/782975/784355) and they’re alert, all right. Now what? ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376/40 "2003-12-22T20:09:10Z")
At least we haven’t gone to Plaid yet! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-we-supposed-to-do-different-now-that-were-orange/220376.md?page=3)