# What Are You Doing With That Whale? Top 10 Answers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2000, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-that-whale-top-10-answers/23432 "2000-06-24T23:58:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-that-whale-top-10-answers/23432/21 "2000-06-25T18:33:11Z")
“Are you saying that humans and whales can’t hang out together, officer? I’m deeply offended by your speciesist attitudes. Trust me when I say your superiors will be hearing about this!!” V. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-that-whale-top-10-answers/23432/22 "2000-06-27T04:29:19Z")
[To whale] What?!! You’re a whale?! Why oh why can’t people see past my birth defect? Technically, officer, the killer whale, or orca, is in the dolphin family. Drop it on the floor, listen for a heartbeat, and yell, “Is there a cetologist in the house?” Just gettin’ some tail! She said she had a killer tuna recipe… That’s no whale, that’s my mother-in-law! (Rimshot) He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother. ---
**Author:** ![Baraqiyal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@Baraqiyal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baraqiyal)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-that-whale-top-10-answers/23432/23 "2000-06-27T11:49:11Z")
Can’t talk, my apartment is infested with seals! My wife called from her cell phone and told me to get shamu and conditioner. Oh my god, I stopped by the Arco to use the bathroom and forgot to return the key. ---
**Author:** ![Obvious\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Obvious\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obvious_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-that-whale-top-10-answers/23432/24 "2000-06-27T12:07:39Z")
1)Sarcastic: We were just having a whale of a good time 2)Obvious:We stole it! duh… stupid pig 3)innocent:Oh, you mean not everybody gets one of these? 4)stupid:He must have followed us here 5)Angry:Get your own whale Captain Ahab!! ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-that-whale-top-10-answers/23432/25 "2000-06-27T12:12:15Z")
nothing officer, but what would the whale do without me? well officer, There’s a family of eskimos in the flat above that are feeling homesick. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-that-whale-top-10-answers/23432/26 "2000-07-04T16:16:18Z")
My favorites so far: From lurkernomore - well, I wasn’t doing too good with the ladies, and I had a few, and by closing time this whale started to look good… From Wanderer - Well see I was drowning and he said if he rescued me I had to take him drinking. From Rysdad - Do a very bad ventriloquist imitation and make the whale say, “Well, he ain’t slim, but that’s no reason to call him names.” From DRY - “The sheep heard my zipper.” From Sealemon88 - I heard he was a humpback, if ya know what I’m saying. The next three ar from Narile - INS, this whale is in the country illegally, we are here to send it back to its father. Guido’s response - Horse heads just don’t work for Mr. Coustaeu. MPatHG - Well, you see there is this castle, and the giant wooden rabbit didn’t work… _Ni!!!_ Thanks everybody, I’ll let you know when I get them on my homepage. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-that-whale-top-10-answers/23432/27 "2000-07-04T16:30:36Z")
Well, officer, have _you_ ever done it with a blow hole? ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-that-whale-top-10-answers/23432/28 "2000-07-04T19:00:49Z")
I’m so glad you’re here, Officer – Arrest this whale, it’s a Killer! ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-that-whale-top-10-answers/23432/29 "2000-07-04T19:32:05Z")
Indignant: “Officer, that is no way to address my wife!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-that-whale-top-10-answers/23432.md?page=1)