# What are you doing with your $5k? **URL:** \ **Category:** Politics & Elections\ **Tags:** trump\ **Created:** [September 10, 2026, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962 "2026-09-10T12:16:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/41 "2026-09-10T15:58:58Z")
Mine goes straight to the Dems. I guess. (sigh) ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/42 "2026-09-10T16:00:14Z")
I’d donate mine to the ACLU, the Freedom From Religion Foundation and to the Union for Concerned Scientists. Can’t think of a better way to use those funds. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/43 "2026-09-10T16:00:15Z")
[Wahoo!!!](https://finance.yahoo.com/economy/article/trumps-5000-midterm-dividend-is-at-least-his-fourth-promise-of-cash-for-all-americans-none-came-to-pass-135647789.html) Add that $5K midterms dividend check to the $5K DOGE refund and the $2K tariff check, and it’s gonna be PARTY TIME! > [@](#): > > The one detail that Trump did offer about the dividend plan is that the funds would need to be spent in the United States. > > “We don’t want you going to Canada to spend the money,” he said, without detailing how that would be enforced. Goddamnit! I was planning to go to Nunavut and blow the whole wad on hookers and blow, or at least get some poutine. ---
**Author:** ![Jihi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jihi/32/17768_2.png) [@Jihi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jihi)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/44 "2026-09-10T16:02:27Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > So this bribe would cost the US Treasury roughly $1.35 trillion I’ve never seen an actual price tag on an attempt to buy an election before. I learned a new thing today. ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/45 "2026-09-10T16:02:35Z")
Money is fungible! Spend this on bills and use your bill money for Nunavut. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/46 "2026-09-10T16:22:06Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > [Wahoo!!!](https://finance.yahoo.com/economy/article/trumps-5000-midterm-dividend-is-at-least-his-fourth-promise-of-cash-for-all-americans-none-came-to-pass-135647789.html) Add that $5K midterms dividend check to the $5K DOGE refund and the $2K tariff check, and it’s gonna be PARTY TIME! > > > [@](#): > > > > The one detail that Trump did offer about the dividend plan is that the funds would need to be spent in the United States. > > > > “We don’t want you going to Canada to spend the money,” he said, without detailing how that would be enforced. > > Goddamnit! I was planning to go to Nunavut and blow the whole wad on hookers and blow, or at least get some poutine. Another excellent well thought out plan by the Orange Peril – promising an election bribe that the US Government could never afford and that Congress would never approve, subject to conditions that could never be enforced! 😁 Maybe it’s like his brilliant solution to health care – more like a “concept” of a plan. I suspect that even long before the November election, Trump’s little toddler brain will have forgotten all about the concept of a plan and will be renaming the Atlantic Ocean. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/47 "2026-09-10T16:47:36Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > Maybe I’ll pick up an Alembic bass. I started playing bass a few years ago and I’m doing a lot of gigging. Those Alembic basses are beautiful! I’m gonna grab a Buchla Music Easel. Since it comes in at just about exactly $5K, I’ll probably have to dip into my tariff rebate money to cover shipping and taxes. I’ll spend the rest on weed. ---
**Author:** ![PhillyGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@PhillyGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PhillyGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/48 "2026-09-10T16:58:07Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > > [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > > > So now he’s trying outright bribery. > > Is it bribery if there is no intent to actually pay it? Why wouldn’t he pay? Respect for the law? Worried about inflation? He says inflation concerns him, sure, but I think he’s more honest when he says he believes in debt. If the GOP retains just one house of congress, Trump will say that was better than expected. And that he has to ignore congress because they won’t be able to agree on anything. I wonder if he’d then tell Bessant to send out $2,500. As to what to do with the check, consider that the inflationary effect means you got nothing. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/49 "2026-09-10T17:03:08Z")
You are wildly assuming the 5k will be dollars. You naive, gullible fools. Trump crypto and other valuable MAGA merchandise valued at its high point. Shipping and handling not included. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/50 "2026-09-10T18:48:46Z")
I’ll have me a Trump steak, washed down with Trump vodka, while perusing my Trump Bible. After which, I’ll enrol in Trump University. If there’s anything left over, I’ll go down and play the slots at Trump Casino while wearing my Trump sneakers. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/51 "2026-09-10T19:00:46Z")
Come on, people! Take it with humour! Link to **[Jonathan Pie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ArrYBP8YMk)** on this very subject: 3 1/2 minute video. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/52 "2026-09-10T19:12:22Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > So this bribe would cost the US Treasury roughly $1.35 trillion. You have to think in 3D chess terms. Before the checks are cut, DOGE comes along and slashes this as waste, claiming they just saved the government $1.35 trillion, and then Fox spins that as a huge victory. Now Congress won’t have to raise your taxes to pay for it. See how much they are fighting for the hard working voters? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/53 "2026-09-10T20:05:22Z")
Best Line: _“He’s lying about his own Gay Wanks!”_ 🤣 ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/54 "2026-09-10T20:15:16Z")
I’m going to buy some magic beans, grow a beanstalk, climb it and steal a golden egg from a giant. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/55 "2026-09-10T20:32:36Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Another excellent well thought out plan by the Orange Peril – promising an election bribe that the US Government could never afford and that Congress would never approve, subject to conditions that could never be enforced! He should have made it $10,000. That would be twice as good ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/56 "2026-09-10T21:00:30Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > I’m going to buy some magic beans, grow a beanstalk, climb it and steal a golden egg from a giant. Might as well take the entire goose if you are going to put yourself through all that trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/57 "2026-09-10T21:08:04Z")
Unicorns all the way! and obviously I should get some unicorn food, too: I think they eat Unobtainium. ---
**Author:** ![billy-jack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@billy-jack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billy-jack)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/58 "2026-09-10T21:11:14Z")
I’ll make a downpayment on my next hamburger. ---
**Author:** ![Dissonance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Dissonance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dissonance)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/59 "2026-09-10T21:29:55Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > If you define “adult” as anyone 18 or over, approximately 270 million Americans qualify. So this bribe would cost the US Treasury roughly $1.35 trillion. To put that in perspective, that’s about 20% of the whole US federal government budget, and around 25% of total income. It’s substantially more than even today’s entire bloated military budget. Pfft, just print more money. Problem solved! > **[Trump says 'I love the inflation' as US prices rise at fastest rate in three...](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c0myzxjkw99o)** > > The US president later said he had meant that he actually loved that inflation was not higher. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2026, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962/60 "2026-09-10T21:43:05Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > Send it to Carney’s reelection campaign? That’s probably not legal, I guess. > > Buy Canadian goods? Trump has already said that the caveat is “You have to spend it in this country.” Per the BBC: _Trump also told the Republican conference that the money would have to be spent in the US, but it is unclear how that would be monitored._ So no going on vacation to a foreign non-shithole country, apparently. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-you-doing-with-your-5k/1032962.md?page=4)