# What are your beard growing experiences? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 18, 2014, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000 "2014-11-18T21:08:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/21 "2014-11-19T05:16:29Z")
I do the beard irregularly. I recently shaved it off after about 2/12 years. I’m blonde so the beard is a mix of blonde and ginger, with gray now below the corners of the mouth. As mine doesn’t grow down but out, if I don’t trim it it just makes my face fat. So I trimmed it usually once a week on Sunday with the clippers down to about 6mm long. Other than that, so maintenance required. One day i’m going to take the plunge and see if I can actually grow something long enough that it can hang down instead of sticking out. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/22 "2014-11-19T12:47:21Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > My one sop to vanity is that I have begun dyeing it - it was fully gray by the time I was thirty-five. OMG, I did that once with a Just For Men product. I guess I’m more brown than black, but I just grabbed the black off the shelf. I applied and waited the suggested time, but I still looked grey. So I waited. And waited. When I finally said screw it, and rinsed, I looked like a cartoon character. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/23 "2014-11-19T14:17:03Z")
I’ve been shaving since I was 14 and growing beards since I was 16. Shaved from time to time for interviews & work; some of the places I have worked have been pretty My Three Sons in their men’s styling culture. I switched to all-beard-all-the-time once I realized that, with the combination of very pale skin & very dark beard, I still have a 5 o’clock shadow immediately after shaving, so unless I’m working someplace where people are making their judgment call on my hirsuteness based off of the way my face feels (and I’d really like to know what kind of job that would be…), I’m not shaving myself bloody every day and STILL get dinged for looking like I haven’t shaved in a couple days. I’ve been working someplace for a year now and nobody here has ever seen me without a beard; I’m thinking of hacking it off just to see their reactions. I’m told that I look completely different without the beard; one guy said “dude, you could commit crimes, then shave the beard off and nobody would pick you out of a lineup…” ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/24 "2014-11-19T14:28:19Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > if it gets in your soup then use a barber clipper with the 3/4 or 1 inch attachment for a quick, easy and uniform whack back. Or just tuck it inside your shirt collar. > [@kayaker](#): > > OMG, I did that once with a Just For Men product. I guess I’m more brown than black, but I just grabbed the black off the shelf. I applied and waited the suggested time, but I still looked grey. So I waited. And waited. > > When I finally said screw it, and rinsed, I looked like a cartoon character. (for those who haven’t checked the portraits, I look a bit like the museum guy from Pawn Stars ---- although I looked like this long before he did) Idiots like that guy from Pawn Stars make me laugh. Yeah - dye a couple stripes in your beard and all of a sudden be younger. Right. I’ve survived long past the point of caring how old I look. As a matter of fact, once I could pass at the booze shops, my caring ended and never came back. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/25 "2014-11-19T14:49:15Z")
A friend of mine whose beard grows out to ZZ Top length says that when it gets too long, you need to use hair ties on it if you drive with the windows open because otherwise it blows up into your face and you can’t see. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/26 "2014-11-19T16:50:16Z")
I’m 42 and have facial hair for the first time in my life. Started 11/1 for No-Shave November For some unknown bizarre reason, I have no hair growth where my sideburns should be, so I currently have a mustache and goatee. At the end of the month, I am going to ditch the goatee, but leave the mustache for a week or so, it’s going to be a beauty, like Sam Elliot in Lebowski. My wife will despise it, so that’s why I’ll only keep it for a week. ---
**Author:** ![DrumBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@DrumBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrumBum)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/27 "2014-11-19T17:14:33Z")
My attempts at growing facial hair have been a source of great amusement to my wife and daughter. Many years ago I was on a 2 month assignment to some operations in Kazahkstan and the family stayed behind, so I told them I would try to grow a beard and mustache. When I returned home to my loving family they were very amused at the results. My “beard” was the scraggly sort of mess that Dieter the East German terrorist might have sported at the Baader Meinhof meetings and the mustache was described as resembling a barcode. When the laughter died down I went to the bathroom and shaved it all off. Even now I can go a few days without shaving. Must be a lack of hormones. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/28 "2014-11-19T18:43:45Z")
I should have been shaving twice a day since I was 14, and can grow a pretty luscious beard in 2 weeks. I went years shaving intermittently (once a week was probably average), and so I looked like The Homeless George Michael. As a result of my laziness, I was sent home from high school to shave twice. When I was first allowed to grow a beard, I varied between THGM, weird mutton chops, a van dyke, and then a couple of years with a goatee. I eventually shaved that off for a job search, and displayed my little “butt chin” to the world for awhile. After I got married, I reverted to switching between THGM and more van dykes and moustaches for years, but my wife always complained (“It doesn’t provide the right suction!”, and “Cactuses are pretty, but you don’t want to kiss them.”). Then, I fell and split my chin open. I couldn’t shave, because I’d shave out the stitches. After they came out, I couldn’t shave for another two weeks because the doc was worried I’d slice open the wound. Full beard was a forgone conclusion, because I wasn’t going to shave if it contradicted medical advice. 🙂 Oddly enough, my wife did a wonderful painting of me in that beard. If I may be so vain, maybe the best work of her career to date. However, when she ended up being exposed to it day in and day out without an artistic or medical reason for it, the old complaints arose. Nonetheless, I still loved my hirsute face, and toyed with several silly styles. I had “The Rent Is Too Damn High” for awhile (“It’s like kissing a wet dog”), and I remember chasing my wife around the house, trying to kiss her while I had a Hitler toothbrush (“Noooooo, why are you doing this to meeeee!”) Like all mostly sane people, I came to my senses. I thought about what beard I had when we started dating - it was just a goatee! She even used to chew on it! (Odd, but endearing) I grew a goatee (now salt+pepper instead of brindle), and started shaving the rest twice a week. There was much rejoicing, and no complaints. On my dearest’s request for a little more sexiness, I grew the sideburns out. I trim the sideburns, and let the goatee grow ( not quite ZZ Top length, about 7 3/4" after about a year and a half ) . We couldn’t be happier - I have something to fondle besides my privates when thinking, and proper suction is achieved if we’re within a day or two of the twice-ish weekly shave. The only drawback now is that the kitten has decided the beard is a great toy, while I’m asleep. Wow oh wow, that was long and detailed. In my defense, you asked about my beard. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/29 "2014-11-19T18:57:16Z")
Oh, and I missed the edit window, but: After my beard reaches more than about 1/2 of an inch, it doesn’t itch as long as I keep it clean with some sort of shampoo. I’m an oily person, so I don’t need any conditioners besides the shaving lather that soaks into the beard when I shave. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/30 "2014-11-19T19:22:28Z")
Since I’ve been able to grow one, I’ve had a beard for more than half of my life. Only the first time did I let it grow long. I used to trim it with scissors, then I could afford beard trimmers with adjustable combs. And I generally kept my neck shaven. Daily for definition until it grew in, then maybe twice a week. I’d generally rub some shampoo into it when I was doing my hair in the shower. Hmm… I don’t think I’ve seen my bare upper lip since 1977. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/31 "2014-11-19T20:02:58Z")
My wife has alleged that, if I ever try to grow a beard, she will shave it when I’m asleep. I _think_ she is joking … 😃 In any event, mine grows in sparse and scraggly, so I’m better off beardless. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/32 "2014-11-19T20:41:38Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > mine grows in sparse and scraggly, so I’m better off beardless. Facial hairs don’t grow in evenly. Most people’s beards look sparse and scraggly for the first couple of weeks. Anyone can grow a full beard, if you just let it grow. Typical advice is to give it 4-6 weeks. That way the follicles that typically don’t grow fast early on have time to catch up. Then you can start trimming it up to make it even. ---
**Author:** ![Recusant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@Recusant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Recusant)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/33 "2014-11-19T20:54:59Z")
First off, let me issue a clarification on a misunderstanding I see everywhere facial hair discussion pops up: having a beard doesn’t itch. _Not_ having a beard (more specifically, the very beginnings of one growing in) itches, and sometimes crazily so. When I was thirteen, after the third time my dad said “You need to shave” and I did, the next few days were agony as it grew back in; at one point I was scratching so hard I was drawing blood. I said nuts to that, and haven’t shaved since; though I do trim it on a regularish basis. Also: if facial hair really bothers you that much, you should probably just cut out the middleman and go be a chimpanzee. None of the other great apes can remotely compete with humans in the beard/mustache category. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/34 "2014-11-19T21:03:08Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Facial hairs don’t grow in evenly. Most people’s beards look sparse and scraggly for the first couple of weeks. Anyone can grow a full beard, if you just let it grow. Typical advice is to give it 4-6 weeks. That way the follicles that typically don’t grow fast early on have time to catch up. Then you can start trimming it up to make it even. Aside from a mustache and a [Gagne](http://espn.go.com/i/magazine/new/metro_eric_gagne.jpg), mine simply will not grow past a quarter inch and there are some patches that will not grow at all. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/35 "2014-11-19T21:03:40Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Facial hairs don’t grow in evenly. Most people’s beards look sparse and scraggly for the first couple of weeks. Anyone can grow a full beard, if you just let it grow. Typical advice is to give it 4-6 weeks. That way the follicles that typically don’t grow fast early on have time to catch up. Then you can start trimming it up to make it even. There have been times - when my wife was away on business ( 😃 ) - that I grew my beard (or rather, simply did not shave) for more than a month: still scraggly. Just longer. Never took it to a full two months though. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/36 "2014-11-19T21:05:28Z")
Well if you never trimmed it up to even up all of the hairs, of course its going to look scraggly. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/37 "2014-11-19T21:09:55Z")
I’ve had a mustache since about 1968. Grew a beard when Zumwalt allowed Navy personnel to do so. Beards went away for good in the Navy in about 1985. When I retired in 1990, I grew it back and haven’t shaved it off since then. I never went full Sasquatch with it, and prefer it shorter now, usually trimming it back quite a bit when I get a haircut. No potions, powders or other treatments; just shampoo. I’ve always disliked the chin-strap style and the Amish no-mustache leprechaun look. My sons all have the goatee style, which looks good on them. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/38 "2014-11-19T21:16:54Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Well if you never trimmed it up to even up all of the hairs, of course its going to look scraggly. By “scraggly” I mean “thin and patchy in growth”. That is, there are hairs, but not all over, enough to make a full beard. Not simply that the hairs are of uneven length. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_of\_Words](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f6c823/32.png) [@Jack\_of\_Words](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_of_Words)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/39 "2014-11-19T21:20:45Z")
Mine is intermittent. As a mature student I let hair and beard grow unchallenged for several years, then got a days work as a film extra which required a clean shave and a short-back-and-sides. The guy doing hair nearly wet himself with excitement and I got a free pro shave. I’ve grown it out less since, but it’s currently mostly trimmed to a number 2 every month or so, with only the tips of the moustache allowed free rein. They curl beautifully, I’m told, and I like the habit of waxing it. I did try briefly letting the rest of the moustache grow and combing it with a centre parting to bulk up the curl, but all that hair immediately under my nostril was infuriating - and without constant waxing it was like an emo fringe for the mouth. Soup was very unhygienic… ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000/40 "2014-11-19T21:37:17Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > By “scraggly” I mean “thin and patchy in growth”. That is, there are hairs, but not all over, enough to make a full beard. Not simply that the hairs are of uneven length. Ah, you sound like my grandpa. He always blamed his American Indian ancestry (which may just be family legend.) I do have a bit of patchiness. There’s a small patch between my mustache and beard that doesn’t actually grow hair. It’s small enough that, once I grow the beard out, you can’t see it. But it always makes me self-conscious early on. I have a similar problem from the hair under my bottom lip to my chin. Sometimes I just shave off what’s under my lip. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-beard-growing-experiences/705000.md?page=3)