# What are your euphemisms for bodily functions? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2022, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905 "2022-07-13T21:40:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2022, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/1 "2022-07-13T21:40:45Z")
Riffing on [this thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prior-to-plumbing-what-were-the-american-english-euphemisms-for-urination-defecation/967904). For me: Defecation: downloading Republican talking points. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2022, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/2 "2022-07-13T21:41:28Z")
Piss and shit. I’m a man of simplicity. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2022, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/3 "2022-07-13T21:44:41Z")
My Daddy said “Gonna see a man about a horse” for peeing. I shouldn’t say this, but it took a Doper to explain it to me. Sometimes I’m dense. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2022, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/4 "2022-07-13T21:51:37Z")
For respirations: “I need to breath now”. When I need to ingest nutrition at mid day: “It’s time for lunch”. When it’s hot out and the humidity is high: “stand back, I’m gonna break a sweat!” ;-D ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2022, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/5 "2022-07-13T22:00:23Z")
Very bad cough: I’m harking up a lung. Huge belch: Must be a barge coming through. (Thanks, Mr. Watterson!) ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2022, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/6 "2022-07-13T22:38:14Z")
When I’m shooting my load I scream “Release the hounds!” 😄 ---
**Author:** ![dougrb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@dougrb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougrb)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2022, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/7 "2022-07-13T22:53:06Z")
Defecation: Dropping off the kids. Urination: Gotta go swing a big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2022, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/8 "2022-07-13T23:03:11Z")
Farting: stepped on a duck ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2022, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/9 "2022-07-13T23:14:03Z")
Hit the whizzer. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2022, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/10 "2022-07-13T23:30:22Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I shouldn’t say this, but it took a Doper to explain it to me. Sometimes I’m dense. I knew a guy from Texas who said he was going to see a man about a dog. For the longest time I thought he went to see a man about a dog. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2022, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/11 "2022-07-13T23:47:27Z")
If my Daddy burped he said “Sorry I thought I was in the Officers Club” He was an old Marine. Pinching a loaf for pooping disgusts me. ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2022, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/12 "2022-07-13T23:47:32Z")
I drive people around in a bus for a living, so I use ‘Pit Stop’ as a reminder before we are doing a long-ish stint. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2022, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/13 "2022-07-13T23:52:54Z")
> [@dougrb](#): > > Defecation: Dropping off the kids. > Urination: Gotta go swing a big deal. I call it “dropping the kids off at the pool.” For defecation, I’ll also say, “I’m taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.” ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2022, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/14 "2022-07-14T02:40:43Z")
I used to report the dogs activities as “evacuated her bowels” and “voided her bladder” until my tween daughter asked me to say “pooped” and “peed” instead because my terms were gross. After she googled them. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2022, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/15 "2022-07-14T02:49:42Z")
When I was a kid, my mother used to refer to pooping as “doing a job.” ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2022, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/16 "2022-07-14T02:56:10Z")
And then there was the paperwork after the job. 😀 ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2022, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/17 "2022-07-14T03:15:05Z")
Drain the lizard and take a dump. My wife always says it took her 5 years to convince me to stop saying piss and crap. It is true. It did take a few years for me to change my slang. I can say _time for a dump_ without worrying about being overheard in public. My beloved knows I’ll be indisposed for at least 10 to 15 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2022, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/18 "2022-07-14T04:22:56Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I knew a guy from Texas who said he was going to see a man about a dog. For the longest time I thought he went to see a man about a dog. I grew up in Texas, and one of my friends there was out with a bunch of people and one of them said, “I have to go pick up my sweetie at the airport.” She thought that was the cutest euphemism she’d heard for it, except it turned out he was actually going to pick up his sweetie at the airport. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2022, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/19 "2022-07-14T09:37:46Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Drain the lizard and take a dump. > > My wife always says it took her 5 years to convince me to stop saying piss and crap. > > It is true. It did take a few years for me to change my slang. I can say _time for a dump_ without worrying about being overheard in public. My beloved knows I’ll be indisposed for at least 10 to 15 minutes. This is an event that requires an announcement? Do you folks really specify what your needs are prior to entering the bathroom? mmm ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2022, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/20 "2022-07-14T11:08:10Z")
For #2, I often think of “blast a dookie” (snowboard language, according to The Simpsons) and “blow some snags/snaggers” (learned from an Australian classmate). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905.md?page=2)