# What are your euphemisms for bodily functions? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2022, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905 "2022-07-13T21:40:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2023, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/101 "2023-02-28T00:44:36Z")
> [@Ferris](#): > > If you hear someone mention Eartha Kitts, a copper bolt, growing a tail or Montezuma’s Revenge, for example, they’re probably on the way to the lavatory (or recently visited there). “Turtlehead! Turtlehead!” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2023, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/102 "2023-02-28T12:27:24Z")
> [@Ferris](#): > > There are far too many inventive masturbatory phrases to list “Making the scene with a magazine.” —Tom Waits ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2023, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/103 "2023-03-01T05:18:18Z")
I never picked up on that! ---
**Author:** ![alovem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@alovem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alovem)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2023, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/104 "2023-03-04T19:23:41Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > > [@Gatopescado](#): > > > > Fid, Fud, Fiddly-fud, Nanny-poot, Rip gut and Tear-Ass. > > My brother told me a version of this probably 60 years ago. His was “the fizz, the fuzz, the fizzy-fuzz, rip-shit, tear-ass, and the ones that go ‘pooh’.” Turns out that this is an old George Carlin routine. I heard it from a friend about 45 years ago and was stunned to read it here nearly verbatim. So, I had a look online, found it a few minutes ago and…there it is. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2023, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/105 "2023-03-05T12:01:17Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > I think this may just be our household expression, but I’ll share it with you, as a lot of us on the boards are, well, getting on in years. Sometimes you just know it would be wise to _squeeze one out_ before, for example, an hour long car journey. That’s called _Going for a precautionary._ > > j We call that a _prophylactic pee._ ---
**Author:** ![Yogeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yogeekgirl/32/4129_2.png) [@Yogeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yogeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2023, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/106 "2023-03-05T13:13:41Z")
I had a classmate that once called her period “The little man in a red suit”. Somehow that stuck with me, and evolved into Krampus Time. If anyone needed to know my menstrual status, I could indelicately say “Krampus is here!” One more thing about that, it seems to be a once a year occurrence now, since I am way past childbearing age. : ) Hoping not TMI, but y’all asked… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2023, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/107 "2023-03-05T13:17:13Z")
If I’m at a bar, after a few beers or two, I’ll say, I’m going to check out the plumbing. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2023, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/108 "2023-03-05T15:47:01Z")
A coworker from Mexico starts bloating immediately after eating rice. Her stomach swells so much it looks like she’s pregnant. She calls her ‘baby’ Dolores – Spanish for ‘Misery’. I call my stomach/intestinal noises Bor-Bor. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2023, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/109 "2023-03-05T23:35:19Z")
> [@Yogeekgirl](#): > > “Krampus is here!” One more thing about that, it seems to be a once a year occurrence now, since I am way past childbearing age. Having suffered with endometriosis and cramps, that makes sense to me. If you are still getting rare periods, check with your gyno about it. Sometimes, it can be a sign of cancer. I don’t want to scare you, but better safe than sorry. It happened to me and I ended up having a few pre-cancerous spots removed. ---
**Author:** ![alovem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@alovem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alovem)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2023, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/110 "2023-03-06T07:52:24Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > She calls her ‘baby’ Dolores – Spanish for ‘Misery’. > > I call my stomach/intestinal noises Bor-Bor. It’s actually the plural of _dolor_, so “pains” is a more accurate translation. The way it’s used in Spanish, though, would usually be said in English with the words hurt (verb) or ache (noun). _Tengo dolores de barriga_=“I have a stomach ache” or “my stomach hurts.” But I’m not here to criticize your Spanish. About your Bor-Bor, there’s a similar word for that in Spanish: _borborigmo=Ruido de tripas producido por el movimiento de los gases en la cavidad intestinal._ “Noise emanating from the gut as a result of movement of gasses in the intestinal cavity.” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2023, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/111 "2023-03-06T13:00:21Z")
> [@alovem](#): > > About your Bor-Bor, there’s a similar word for that in Spanish: Originally Greek: borborugmus, and Latin: borborygmus. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2023, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/112 "2023-03-06T15:02:31Z")
> [@alovem](#): > > But I’m not here to criticize your Spanish. Not my Spanish. It’s the Mexican native’s Spanish. 😉 > [@Chefguy](#): > > Latin: borborygmus. Yes. ---
**Author:** ![alovem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@alovem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alovem)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2023, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/113 "2023-03-06T17:55:26Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Not my Spanish. It’s the Mexican native’s Spanish. 😉 Definition II.1 fits, but it’s still singular and comparable to “pain.” > **[dolores | Diccionario del español de México](https://dem.colmex.mx/Ver/dolores)** > > Diccionario del español de México ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2023, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/114 "2023-03-19T17:43:18Z")
Just watched “How the West was won” From now on I’m gonna say “Going to see the _Varmint_” I like that. 🤭 ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2023, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/115 "2023-03-19T23:34:54Z")
Anybody besides me find it interesting that so many of our ablutions have the “sh” sound in them? Shower Shave Brush (teeth, hair) Wash Shit Shine Ablu **TI** ons ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2023, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/116 "2023-03-19T23:42:55Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > From now on I’m gonna say “Going to see the _Varmint_” One of my favorite authors, Marian Keyes, sprinkles Irish slang through her books. Varmint is one of them. “I think I’m going to varmint.” There’s also “I think I banjaxed my knee”. You know exactly what they are saying. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2023, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/117 "2023-03-19T23:54:05Z")
> [@carnut](#): > > banjaxed Oh, boy, I learned a new word – I can’t wait to use it! Thnx. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2023, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/118 "2023-03-20T00:02:18Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > If I really have to relieve my bladder, I say ‘I have to urinate like a thoroughbred!’ Is this an inversion of ‘piss like a racehorse’? We watch a lot of Britbox, I appreciate the english women’s “I need to take a wee”. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2023, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/119 "2023-03-20T00:05:12Z")
Just remembered a term I learned here on the Dope for pooping - honking out a dirt snake. I used to say it to my wife just because its so weird. She would always come back with, “you mean dropping the kids off at the pool?” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2023, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905/120 "2023-03-20T00:29:46Z")
> [@Lucas\_Jackson](#): > > Is this an inversion of ‘piss like a racehorse’? I don’t see an inversion. A new one is ‘I have to un-hydrate.’ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-euphemisms-for-bodily-functions/967905.md?page=7)