# What are your Favorite Unsubstantiated Theories! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 26, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656 "2005-05-26T20:03:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/21 "2005-05-27T04:42:09Z")
We never know what the alternatives of history really were, so we’re not much in a position to say that many of the famous decisions of history were good or bad. Much of the study of history and politics is after-the-fact second guessing. We have it in us to make this a much better world if we’d just be a little more trusting, and a little more trustworthy. This is counterintuitive, a little, because logically we shouldn’t trust anyone before we know they’re trustworthy. Anyhow, life is better when we show a little consideration towards others. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/22 "2005-05-27T05:26:28Z")
**Panache45** You should read up on Cyrus Teed/Koresh and cellular cosmogony [http://www.s-line.de/homepages/keppler/2frame.htm](http://www.s-line.de/homepages/keppler/2frame.htm) ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/23 "2005-05-27T05:38:33Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I think our whole concept of “the universe” is inside-out. Are you serious? ---
**Author:** ![mrunlucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7993a0/32.png) [@mrunlucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrunlucky)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/24 "2005-05-27T06:00:39Z")
After reading _Plagues and Peoples_ I decided that the mysterious disappearance of the Anasazi (or Ancient Pueblo Peoples) is due to death from an epidemic. Apparently a virus can travel quite far, and all it would take is a series of connections to bridge small populated areas, to then destroy a community. Animal scavengers would then have dispersed their remains, making it nearly impossible to pinpoint bodies in any specific location. ---
**Author:** ![Thirty-Nine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f0a364/32.png) [@Thirty-Nine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thirty-Nine)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/25 "2005-05-27T06:18:03Z")
When you’re drunk, the direction your head ‘spins’ depends on the hemisphere your in. Any evidence to the contrary can be waved off, because after all – the test subjects were drunk at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Thirty-Nine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f0a364/32.png) [@Thirty-Nine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thirty-Nine)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/26 "2005-05-27T06:18:13Z")
When you’re drunk, the direction your head ‘spins’ depends on the hemisphere you’re in. Any evidence to the contrary can be waved off, because after all – the test subjects were drunk at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/27 "2005-05-27T06:22:40Z")
> [@Spatial Rift 47](#): > > Wyoming doesn’t exist. Seriously (well, not seriously, but you know). Think about this: Ever been there? Didn’t think so. Ever even met someone from Wyoming? Me neither. Shawn? Man, that’d be creepy. But I knew a dude named Shawn who used to say the exact same thing. It’s probably some reference I’m missing, or something. And I **have** been to Wyoming, btw. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/28 "2005-05-27T07:10:46Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I think our whole concept of “the universe” is inside-out. What we know as the convex surface of the earth is actually the concave surface of the \*\*inside \*\*of a sphere. This is cuckoo, but you aren’t the first to come up with it. [Wikipedia on hollow earth theories.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollow_Earth) I first heard about these people in Robert Anton Wilson books. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/29 "2005-05-27T10:32:46Z")
I sometimes suspect that there’s only a finite amount of “greatness” in any given family line. The more any single individual—say Abraham Lincoln, or Mozart—uses up, the less of it there is for his or her decendants to use, and it’ll be much harder for them to measure up. ---
**Author:** ![Izzardesque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a9adbd/32.png) [@Izzardesque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Izzardesque)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/30 "2005-05-27T10:42:40Z")
That talking to food makes it cook quicker and better. If you’renasty to it, it’ll burn. On purpose. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/31 "2005-05-27T12:09:09Z")
> [@Silver Fire](#): > > Shawn? > > Man, that’d be creepy. But I knew a dude named Shawn who used to say the exact same thing. > > It’s probably some reference I’m missing, or something. > > And I **have** been to Wyoming, btw. 😛 So…you’re one of… _them_. _Veeeerrrrrry interesting…_ :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/32 "2005-05-27T13:08:43Z")
\*\*Wyoming certainly exists. I’ve crossed it several times by car. On the other hand, I certainly believe that, despite what everyone thinks, **Connecticut** is actually the largest state in the nation. We drive back and forth across it several times a year going to our parents in NJ, and I _swear_ that it takes forever to cross. It feels as if it takes _much_ longer than I remember Wyoming taking to cross. **Pepper Mill** and I call it TThe Tardis State, because it is absurdly small on maps, relative to the subjective time it takes to cross. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/33 "2005-05-27T13:15:50Z")
> [@Izzardesque](#): > > That talking to food makes it cook quicker and better. If you’renasty to it, it’ll burn. On purpose. WhyNot’s Corollary: If you talk nasty to a mechanical or electronic device, it will malfunction. The amount of vitrol directed at a machine is inversely porportional to the timespan before malfunction. This is most especially true of copy machines, printers and cars. ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/34 "2005-05-27T13:18:54Z")
> [@Spatial Rift 47](#): > > Wyoming doesn’t exist. Seriously (well, not seriously, but you know). Think about this: Ever been there? Didn’t think so. Ever even met someone from Wyoming? Me neither. > > :: waits for Wyoming Dopers to chime in :: Well I’ve been to Yellowstone twice and Devil’s Tower once. I think you’re confusing Wyoming with that fictional state North Dakota. North Dakota was created because South Dakota sounds much better than Only Dakota. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/35 "2005-05-27T13:37:05Z")
I have a few… The Great Pimple If you have acne, it will not go away until you get the mother of all pimples. It will be so huge that once you pop it, it will take all future generations of zits with it. Transference of Souls When you die, your soul will enter the body of the next baby to be born. Hefting Heifers If you pick up a calf every day, eventually you’ll be able to lift a cow. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/36 "2005-05-27T13:43:53Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > I sometimes suspect that there’s only a finite amount of “greatness” in any given family line. The more any single individual—say Abraham Lincoln, or Mozart—uses up, the less of it there is for his or her decendants to use, and it’ll be much harder for them to measure up. This could explain a lot about a certain New England/Texas/Florida family. They’ve got to be into “deficit greatness” at this point. Kind of fails the Bach test, though. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/37 "2005-05-27T14:28:22Z")
1. Having done a careful analysis of the weather patterns here, and noting the clothing worn at certain times of the year, I am confident in my theory that Alaska is NOT located just off the coast of Baja, as is depicted on most maps of the U.S. 2. There is a secret cabal in this country that drives around with bags of shoes, occasionally tossing one out onto the road so that people like me will wonder how it got there. I’m convinced that if one were to pick up all of the single shoes one finds on the road, some sort of pattern would emerge that would unlock many baffling secrets, such as why Radio Shack requires my phone number when I buy batteries. 3. The Grassy Knoll - 'nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/38 "2005-05-27T14:54:58Z")
Crankism (as in, people who invent crank theories and e-mail or mail them to scientists) is a psychological disorder. Hardcore cranks share many peculiar characteristics in common: the firm conviction that they, with their fresh outsider’s perspective and complete innocence of mathematics, have stumbled upon an insight that has evaded all the people who have devoted their lives to the study of science, and that once Men of Science are exposed to this revolutionary idea they ought fall down at the crank’s feet, gibbering in gratitude; unflappable resiliance in the face of reason; certain TYPOLOGICAL HABITS!!!; a very predictable trajectory of emotions exhibited over the course of each correspondence (polite affability that very slowly yeilds to irritation, which suddenly gives way to incoherent, froth-spewing rage against the establishment); the fact that after compleing this trajectory they will pick some new sucker and begin anew, _ad nauseum_. I’m convinced that if anyone studied cranks in detail, they’d get a category in the DSM. I really ought to write up this theory and send it to some psychologist and psychiatrists . . . ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/39 "2005-05-27T14:55:01Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > ,snip. > > 1. There is a secret cabal in this country that drives around with bags of shoes, occasionally tossing one out onto the road so that people like me will wonder how it got there. I’m convinced that if one were to pick up all of the single shoes one finds on the road, some sort of pattern would emerge that would unlock many baffling secrets, such as why Radio Shack requires my phone number when I buy batteries. > \ Thank you for informing us of your knowledge. Please sit down and remain quiet until the Shoe Police arrive. You will be reeducated to a more shoe friendly disposition. From this point forward you will salute every shoe you see on the side of the road and sing the shoe theme song when asked for your phone number at Radio Shack. You are welcome. All hail the great shoe. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/40 "2005-05-27T14:57:21Z")
> [@Odinoneeye](#): > > All hail the great shoe. May He have mercy on your sole. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656.md?page=3)