# What are your Favorite Unsubstantiated Theories! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 26, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656 "2005-05-26T20:03:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Einmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Einmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Einmon)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/161 "2005-06-09T16:21:05Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > I ahve a theory that kind of goes along with the book character ones. > > I think, like in Toy Story, that the toys move around when we humans aren’t present. I have the same theory, only about my refrigerator. As soon as I close the door, the light goes on and the veggies party with the cheese. On occasion I’ve tried to catch them by quickly opening the fridge door again, but these buggers are just too fast! Also, I’ve had the “Wyoming” theory - but about Bielefeld. [And I am not alone!](http://www.dw-world.de/dw/article/0,1564,1400913,00.html). If you don’t know Bielefeld that’s because it does not exist, that’s why. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/162 "2005-06-09T22:22:45Z")
A theory I have is if I buy an ‘expendable’ or ‘pawn’ veggie or fruit to be sacrificed to the refrigerator Gods, the rest of my produced will be spared a shriveled and dried out-drawn out death. I have done this for nearly ten years and I swear by this. That or veggies and fruits are cannibals once the door goes out…hey…that’d be something to see… ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/163 "2005-06-09T22:40:59Z")
If you pay off all of your extraneous bills ( credit card/car payment) and breath a sigh of releif that you can now start putting money away for something…you have just started a mechanical revolt in your house or garage. Something major will break down (water heater, transmission, etc) and right after then small appliances commit suicide ( the toaster, microwave and the answering machine.) If you keep a balance on your credit cards…say $50, nothing will ever break down. It’s better than insurance. at 13% interest. ---
**Author:** ![AdmiralCrunch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@AdmiralCrunch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AdmiralCrunch)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/164 "2005-06-09T23:36:59Z")
Chocolate isn’t candy. Candy bars most definitely aren’t candy. I put both groups in with cookies and other sweets. Chocolate is food. Candy means sugar with some weird artificial flavoring and artificial coloring with only sweet or maybe sour taste. Not an ounce salt or bitterness in candy. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2005, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/165 "2005-06-10T00:26:48Z")
I believe that Barney is the Antichrist, and Elmo is the False Prophet. Haven’t figured out who the Beast is yet. I have this idea about the circulation of dollar bills in a strip bar. See, one dollar bills never enter or leave a strip bar. They just circulate continually between the bar, the customers, and the dancers. On a busy Friday or Saturday night, the circulation of ones creates a vortex which, if you can get into the center of it, makes time travel possible. Somewhere between 9:00 pm and midnight, as customers bring in $10’s and $20’s, exchange them for $1’s, then take them stageside to tip the dancers, if you can get into the vortex, you can travel forward in time. After midnight, when the dancers start taking their accumulated singles to the bar and changing them for larger bills, the direction of circulation reverses and you can travel backward in time. I believe that the Australian government is genetically engineering highly venomous creatures like the tai-pan, box jellyfish, and the Sydney funnelweb spider. Their sinister plan is to bolster the Australian economy by persuading other countries to open factories, make “loans” that will never be paid back, etc., by threatening to unleash massive numbers of these deadly creatures in major urban centers. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2005, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/166 "2005-06-10T12:49:59Z")
> [@](#): > > I have this idea about the circulation of dollar bills in a strip bar. See, one dollar bills never enter or leave a strip bar. They just circulate continually between the bar, the customers, and the dancers. On a busy Friday or Saturday night, the circulation of ones creates a vortex which, if you can get into the center of it, makes time travel possible. Somewhere between 9:00 pm and midnight, as customers bring in $10’s and $20’s, exchange them for $1’s, then take them stageside to tip the dancers, if you can get into the vortex, you can travel forward in time. After midnight, when the dancers start taking their accumulated singles to the bar and changing them for larger bills, the direction of circulation reverses and you can travel backward in time. If you put it in Bigger Smurter wording, you could probably get a grant to study this phenom. Which is brilliant.btw. ---
**Author:** ![Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fromage_A_Trois)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2005, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/167 "2005-06-10T15:05:44Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > If you pay off all of your extraneous bills ( credit card/car payment) and breath a sigh of releif that you can now start putting money away for something…you have just started a mechanical revolt in your house or garage. Similar to this, and to what **Dob** said is that the moment you have a look at your finances and decide that they’re relatively stable and healthy, and that you can blow what little savings you have (say, by buying a new computer) - something expensive will immediately break (for instance, your car’s catalytic converter). Stupid catalytic converter. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2005, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/168 "2005-06-10T15:11:21Z")
I believe that those with memories of alien abduction aren’t random oddballs… …they’re just the ones who remember. _We are ALL abducted at one time or another…every single one of us!_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2005, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/169 "2005-06-10T21:44:18Z")
I have secretly entertained the thought that, somehow, the Nielsen people know what everybody is watching regardless if you are a Nielsen family or not. When you change the channel and leave it on, some sort of signal goes back and that the “Nielsen families” are a coverup, if you will. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/170 "2005-06-11T00:14:19Z")
I once went to Yellowstone and saw a huge crowd near the Old Faithful geyser. Not only was the crowd large but it seemed to contain people from every country in the world–people who in other circumstances would have been waging war and throwing hand grenades. They all just stood there, waiting for the geyser to blow. Conclusion: If you want world peace, we’ll need more geysers. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/171 "2005-06-11T00:18:38Z")
> [@Enola Straight](#): > > I believe that those with memories of alien abduction aren’t random oddballs… > > …they’re just the ones who remember. > _We are ALL abducted at one time or another…every single one of us!_ > > :eek: Just look at the end of my pen, Enola…:::::bright flash of light:::::: ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2005, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/172 "2005-06-11T00:21:29Z")
> [@Agrippina](#): > > I have secretly entertained the thought that, somehow, the Nielsen people know what everybody is watching regardless if you are a Nielsen family or not. When you change the channel and leave it on, some sort of signal goes back and that the “Nielsen families” are a coverup, if you will. No, man, they are watching us through all the damn Atomic Time Keeping Clocks that were the rage a couple years back. I’m sure of it. Where is my tinfoil hat? ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2005, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/173 "2005-06-11T00:37:04Z")
> [@The Asbestos Mango](#): > > I have this idea about the circulation of dollar bills in a strip bar. See, one dollar bills never enter or leave a strip bar. They just circulate continually between the bar, the customers, and the dancers. Note to self: if ever in strip bar, pay bartender with exact change or wear gloves. ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2005, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/174 "2005-06-11T10:10:24Z")
Have you ever noticed that the US POst Office delivers only junk mail on Saturdays? That’s so when the time is right, they can simply suspend Saturday deliveries. I don’t wear no tin foil hat, so I got their plans from my electrical outlets - even the slogan they’ll use to justify the measure: “Why trudge to your mailbox on Saturday, just for handful of shit?” It’ll resonate in the red states. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/175 "2005-06-11T15:21:03Z")
> [@Agrippina](#): > > I have secretly entertained the thought that, somehow, the Nielsen people know what everybody is watching regardless if you are a Nielsen family or not. When you change the channel and leave it on, some sort of signal goes back and that the “Nielsen families” are a coverup, if you will. Oooh, TV Theories! There are TV People out there who hate me, and are listening to everything I say. I am convinced that if I publicly proclaim a liking for a certain TV show, it will promptly be cancelled. If I mention that a certain show is stupid and that I never watch it, it will run for years and years. I cannot be dissuaded from this belief. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2005, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/176 "2005-06-11T15:36:56Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > Oooh, TV Theories! There are TV People out there who hate me, and are listening to everything I say. I am convinced that if I publicly proclaim a liking for a certain TV show, it will promptly be cancelled. If I mention that a certain show is stupid and that I never watch it, it will run for years and years. I cannot be dissuaded from this belief. I hear ya! I believe that myself. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2005, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/177 "2005-06-11T17:30:56Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > Oooh, TV Theories! There are TV People out there who hate me, and are listening to everything I say. I am convinced that if I publicly proclaim a liking for a certain TV show, it will promptly be cancelled. If I mention that a certain show is stupid and that I never watch it, it will run for years and years. I cannot be dissuaded from this belief. I Knew It!!! See… I told ya! I’m not the only one that has noticed this! ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/178 "2005-06-11T19:05:30Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > There is some truth to this theory. A while back I read somewhere that country/farm/rural kids whom are regularly exposed to animal dander/molds and pollen have lesser symptoms than the city kids who are not as exposed or who are kept indoors to keep the contact to a minimum. I was a farm kid who stayed outdoors whenever possible, but I had skin allergies and hayfever from a very early age. However, I believe the theory is true for the most part, and I was just a weird kid. I also believe that the root cause of diabetes is inactivity. I agree with those who said air conditioning is a cause of obesity. But also computers and the Internet. The idea of eating 3 meals a day, is just ridiculous and unnecessary. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2005, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/179 "2005-06-11T22:45:11Z")
> [@hillbilly queen](#): > > I also believe that the root cause of diabetes is inactivity. > > I agree with those who said air conditioning is a cause of obesity. But also computers and the Internet. > > The idea of eating 3 meals a day, is just ridiculous and unnecessary. Airconditioning is also the cause of anti-social behavior and the decline of the front porch. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2005, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656/180 "2005-06-12T01:15:31Z")
The Universe Our **Earth** is one _electron_ of Our **Solar System** being one _atom_ of Our **Galaxy** being one _molecule_ of Our **Universe** being one _brain cell_ of A Divine Being / Creator / What have you …And that we’re all a bunch of inconsequential sub-atomic particles who _think_ they have they have the mysteries of time and space figured out. Popular Music Any song _(even the most avant garde, noise-like stuff)_ can become a chart-topping hit with the right amount of airplay & promotion behind it. Anatomy Cancer is a genetic disease. No one can ever visit a chiropractor once. Chiropractors inadvertently _(or for real tinfoil-hattery: purposely)_ do something to a person’s joints that will require follow-up visits throughout their lives. Voter Fraud Is wide-scale throughout the country & carried out by both political parties. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-favorite-unsubstantiated-theories/305656.md?page=10)