# What are your "Hell Television" channels? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 7, 2022, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-hell-television-channels/959049 "2022-02-07T13:29:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2022, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-hell-television-channels/959049/41 "2022-02-08T23:31:33Z")
Lifetime and any Housewives show ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2022, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-hell-television-channels/959049/42 "2022-02-08T23:32:22Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > But there would be no way to turn off motion smoothing. Oh, this is _evil._ ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2022, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-hell-television-channels/959049/43 "2022-02-08T23:44:40Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > > [@Bumbazine](#): > > > > The 700 club 24/7 > > > > > What do I win? - > > Eternal life. It would certainly _feel_ eternal… . Well played, **running\_coach**! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2022, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-hell-television-channels/959049/44 "2022-02-08T23:52:04Z")
One of those channels that are notionally documentary, but all of the shows are so very light on content, they just talk about three very dull and uninteresting facts, in this sort of order: Introduce Fact 1 Talk about how it is the first of several facts. Get an ‘expert’ to talk about Fact 1 Repeat Fact 1, slowly, as if the pace of speaking means something. Talk about what the expert said about Fact 1, with a shitty CG animation Wildly speculate on what Fact 1 _doesn’t disprove, so could probably be true_ Tease Fact 2 Reiterate Fact 1, (play that animation again) Introduce Fact 2 Point out that these are now 2 facts. Reiterate them Get a new ‘expert’ to talk about Fact 2 Get the first expert to talk about Fact 2, contradicting what they said about Fact 1 Reiterate the two facts and so on 30 to 45 minutes of programming, based on almost zero actual content. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2022, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-hell-television-channels/959049/45 "2022-02-09T00:53:03Z")
A channel that appears to be full of home improvement/renovation shows, but none of them really do anything except cover every available surface in shiplap. Okay, maybe there’s one show focused on putting giant cursive _Family_ and _Eat, Pray, Love_ and _Kitchen_ decals on the shiplap. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2022, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-hell-television-channels/959049/46 "2022-02-09T01:52:00Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > > [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > > > But there would be no way to turn off motion smoothing. > > Oh, this is _evil._ Laughed SO hard at it !!! ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2022, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-hell-television-channels/959049/47 "2022-02-09T04:24:16Z")
All Mythbusters, but they’ve removed anything blowing up, which might give a respite from the endless repetition. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2022, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-hell-television-channels/959049/48 "2022-02-09T04:51:22Z")
Hellivision, then :evil: ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2022, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-hell-television-channels/959049/49 "2022-02-09T12:48:48Z")
How about a loop of shriners pledge drive, then the spca pledge drive, then the elephant pledge drive, then they throw in a Peter Popoff holy water ad in between all the pledge drives every now and then. And the worst part is that because it’s hell, you already give to all those places and your holy water has no affect on ole satan. I’ll take oblivion please. ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2022, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-hell-television-channels/959049/50 "2022-02-09T13:04:16Z")
Locked in a room with all the the shows that “reveal the truth about…”. You know, the CT’s. And the room is full of “true believers”. “The Nazi secret base in Antarctica.” “The TROOTH about black helicopters, dead cows, and the UN.” “Alien abductions - see samples of material that (someone says) were not made on earth.” And the commercials would be continual loops for Air fryers Car repair insurance Joe Namath/Jimmy Walker/others flogging medicare advantage plans. Reverse mortgages. Collectable plates (Come to think of it - collectable anything!) Pyramid selling schemes. (Haven’t seen any yet - but any day now…) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-hell-television-channels/959049.md?page=2)