# What are YOUR important marital(ish) duties? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 13, 2025, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267 "2025-02-13T16:12:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2025, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/21 "2025-02-14T13:18:33Z")
I plow the snow, and use the tractor to move piles when it becomes too much for the truck to handle or other duties that require the tractor. My Wife does most of the snow shoveling. My Wife does the laundry. I do most but not all the cooking. I work from home, so I take the dogs for a short walk every day. My Wife does the long walks on the weekend. For those she often needs snowshoes (it’s brutal, I couldn’t do it). I do all of the home repairs and manage our computers (I’m a programmer) We are currently house hunting for when we retire. My Wife does 90% of that, makes sense, she is a property appraiser. My Wife does the ‘big’ grocery trips. She buys all the basic consumables for the house (cleaners, tooth paste, etal). I do grocery trips for specific meals to make. ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2025, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/22 "2025-02-14T13:23:05Z")
I hunt and fish, and my wife gathers. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2025, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/23 "2025-02-14T13:31:20Z")
I manage the finances, cook, do laundry, do any push-mowing (spousal unit has had 10 spinal surgeries and both knees replaced - he does NOT need to be mowing across slopes or in the ditches.) I also tend to be the one to keep track of vehicle maintenance and make appointments with our car guy. He’ll do absolutely anything I ask of him, but because of the aforementioned surgeries, I’m careful what I ask him to do. On the other hand, when things need to be built, installed, or repaired, he does the work and I fetch and assist and generally do whatever is required to be useful. He deals with the dishes after supper unless I feel like doing it myself. And he’s the duty driver as my eyes are close to worthless when it’s dark, plus I hate to drive. When we’re on our boat, he’s captain and I’m crew - he’s much, much better afloat than I am. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2025, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/24 "2025-02-14T13:35:32Z")
He makes a larger chunk of the $$ and maintains the electronics. Oh, and does his own laundry and shops for things he wants to eat. I do everything else: Care of 24 animals financial stuff general groceries & supplies home chores & maint (doing or scheduling) vacation planning & set-up to be gone All the minuscule day-to-day stuff that piles up if not attended to ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2025, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/25 "2025-02-14T14:15:25Z")
> [@saje](#): > > Care of 24 animals Dear god. What’s the breakdown? I hope it’s 23 barnicles and one cat. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2025, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/26 "2025-02-14T14:36:14Z")
After 40-odd years we’ve got a lot divvied up. I pay the bills (he won’t remember to). He does the taxes (math genius). He does the dishes and the trash/recycling. I shop and cook because I am so much pickier about food than he is. I shovel paths in the snow, he clears the driveway with the tractor. In fact he does all the tractor stuff, which is extensive. He fells, bucks, splits, and stacks the year’s firewood. We both keep the woodstove going. He fixes everything broken. I take care of the dogs and the livestock, and the gardens, and do the mending and darning of clothes. Between us we get it all done. Both of us hate to clean house so one of my most rewarding gifts to myself after a lifetime of doing a poor job at it, has been hiring a house cleaner for four hours a week. Bliss. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2025, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/27 "2025-02-14T14:46:15Z")
Him: Finances Home maintenance/repair Yard/property maintenance Vehicle maintenance Barn chores in the morning Opens/closes gate for me when I leave/arrive Drives if we travel together Main doer & planner of things Me: Cooking/meal planning Cleaning Dog feeding/medicating Laundry Barn chores in the evening Opens/closes gate when we travel together Chief assistant > [@ParallelLines](#): > > I am in charge of all weird night-time cat noises and freakouts until 12 midnight. She is in charge from 12:01 until 6am. 🙂 And I never thought about it, but that’s kind of our split as well! Dogs are dealt with by me until the wee hours, then it becomes his problem. Also I wish to say that he is a type-A workaholic, so I let him do the lion’s share because it makes him happy. 😇 ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2025, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/28 "2025-02-14T15:49:20Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > Dear god. What’s the breakdown? I hope it’s 23 barnicles and one cat. Whoops, it’s actually more than that: 16 house cats 2 house dogs 2 barn cats 4 goats 1 horse 1 45gal fish tank w/ 4 goldfish 1 10 gal tank w/ mixed tropicals Yes, I’m a little nuts. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2025, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/29 "2025-02-14T16:05:07Z")
> [@saje](#): > > Yes, I’m a little nuts. I wouldn’t say that, but I’m amazed you have time to do anything else than take care of such a menagerie! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2025, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/30 "2025-02-14T16:17:08Z")
> [@saje](#): > > Yes, I’m a little nuts. At least you’re clearly labeled. 😜 ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2025, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/31 "2025-02-14T16:20:34Z")
Despite the fact that I manage a retail store, I really am not social and MUCH prefer the company of animals 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2025, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/32 "2025-02-14T16:43:05Z")
I fix everything, build stuff, and do yard maintenance. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2025, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/33 "2025-02-14T17:19:48Z")
My wife controls the remote, because she loves to skip ads (we DVR everything) and goes for the weather. Plus, I work on a puzzle while watching TV, so I’d let the ads run. I fix her computer when she messes it up, and tell her for the umpteenth time how to zip things and include them. Most everything else we share. She enters payments in Quicken and I balance the checkbook, since we both firmly believe that each of us knows everything about our finances. She calls repair people when necessary, I fix things when I can, which is usually. It’s worked for almost 47 years. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2025, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/34 "2025-02-15T07:43:23Z")
When we were young I bought all the recreational drugs. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2025, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/35 "2025-02-15T12:51:16Z")
If one day I decide to never again prepare any sort of food, we will both die of malnutrition. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Crane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crane/32/3495_2.png) [@Crane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crane)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2025, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/36 "2025-02-15T13:18:12Z")
My wife is an invalid, so the cleaning lady and I do it all. ---
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2025, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/37 "2025-02-15T14:30:39Z")
Changing the bed and laundering the bedclothes. I know this is not unusual, but I have been married three times (once divorced, once widowed, and now happily married again) for a total of more than 45 years and this has been the case throughout. It was never discussed…I just ended up doing it. I’m happy to do it as part of my marital obligations, but it’s a bit depressing when I remind myself that I will probably have to change this bed another 800+ times before I’m gone. ---
**Author:** ![oligArchie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oligarchie/32/21546_2.png) [@oligArchie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oligArchie)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2025, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/38 "2025-02-15T14:32:59Z")
I do the rolling; she does the detail. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2025, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/39 "2025-02-15T14:43:38Z")
Mrs. J. is the financial wizard who keeps us out of Leavenworth. I do brute strength, raising the crops and handle security. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2025, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267/40 "2025-02-15T14:49:23Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Killer of Spiders? And identifier of smashed bugs. My wife will show me a kleenex with something she squooshed and ask “What is this?” My usual reply is “It would be easier to tell if it was in one piece.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-important-marital-ish-duties/1014267.md?page=3)