# What are your litmus tests for a SO?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [March 21, 2006, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356 "2006-03-21T22:25:40Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Foybal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foybal)
#### Post date: [March 21, 2006, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/1 "2006-03-21T22:25:40Z")
(SO=significant other)
Mine:
non-smoker
non-pet owner
non-religious
no drugs or heavy alcohol consumption
no need to gamble a lot or often
Has to accept in me: eating meat, not fond of hanging out in bars, clubs, pool halls, etc. Not enchanted by long walks on the beach.
---
### Author:  [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)
#### Post date: [March 21, 2006, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/2 "2006-03-21T23:21:14Z")
> [@Foybal](#):
>
> Has to accept in me: eating meat, not fond of hanging out in bars, clubs, pool halls, etc. **Not enchanted by long walks on the beach.**
(bolding mine)
But, but… how can you _not_ be enchanted by long walks on the beach? That’s like, a _staple_ of romance!
I bet you don’t like flowers or expensive jewelry either! Hmmph!
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### Author:  [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)
#### Post date: [March 21, 2006, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/3 "2006-03-21T23:29:47Z")
You know, I used to think I had litmus tests, and then I met someone who fails several of them, yet I am still smitten.
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### Author:  [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)
#### Post date: [March 21, 2006, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/4 "2006-03-21T23:31:15Z")
Must be pH 4.0 to 5.5: a little tart, but neither caustic or acidic.
Isn’t “Likes long walks on the beach” secret code for “wants lots of kinky sex” ?
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### Author:  [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/5 "2006-03-22T00:14:58Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#):
>
> (bolding mine)
>
> But, but… how can you _not_ be enchanted by long walks on the beach? That’s like, a _staple_ of romance!
>
> I bet you don’t like flowers or expensive jewelry either! Hmmph!
Reminds of the MadTV sketch with the chain smoking restaurant owner…and her personal ad that read “Brunette, smoker, doesn’t enjoy long walks…”
Hmm, it’s not quite as funny reading it as watching it.
---
### Author:  [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/6 "2006-03-22T00:33:49Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#):
>
> Isn’t “Likes long walks on the beach” secret code for “wants lots of kinky sex” ?
Hmmm…put me down for long, multiple walks on a hot & sweaty beach… 😃
The only litmus test I have for a SO is non-smoking.
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### Author:  [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/7 "2006-03-22T00:39:10Z")
Hmm, I wouldn’t date a drug user or a heavy drinker. Those are my biggest two, after that I wouldn’t want to date a bi guy. I know it sounds bad, but I really have a personal squick factor with that. No kids. That’s about the only major ones, Oh! they must be male and gay. 😉
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### Author:  [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/8 "2006-03-22T00:48:34Z")
> [@Antinor01](#):
>
> … after that I wouldn’t want to date a bi guy. I know it sounds bad, but I really have a personal squick factor with that. No kids. That’s about the only major ones, Oh! they must be male and gay. 😉
I was confused at first… thinking you were a woman. But now I think, “it’s bad enough being rejected by women for liking men, but now I may be rejected by a man for liking women! BLAH!”
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### Author:  [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/9 "2006-03-22T00:51:52Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#):
>
> I was confused at first… thinking you were a woman. But now I think, “it’s bad enough being rejected by women for liking men, but now I may be rejected by a man for liking women! BLAH!”
Sorry. ☹ It’s really just a personal thing, I don’t limit my friends based on that factor or anything else…it just gives me a certain, I don’t know, Eww feeling. I don’t really want to get any more descriptive in this thread cause it will end up hijacking this to no end.
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### Author:  [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/10 "2006-03-22T01:12:16Z")
I like a girl who is a little base, not too acidic. Around a 4.5. Otherwise, she just isn’t as tasty and will give me heartburn
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### Author:  [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/11 "2006-03-22T01:17:58Z")
mmm…tasty, slighty-acidic girl…_insert homer drool_
um…well, you know, if oyu say you WON’T date someone with some qualities, you’ll end up with almost exactly that.
with that being said, i’m not into smokers. this parses off into alcoholics and drug users too.
outside of that, it’s a good old game of “give and take”.
and if we’re um…on that beach…“holding hands”, she’s doing a whole lot of taking.
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### Author:  [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/12 "2006-03-22T01:22:37Z")
Extremely wealthy
Very, very old
No living relatives
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### Author:  [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/13 "2006-03-22T01:28:53Z")
Female.
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### Author:  [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/14 "2006-03-22T01:38:50Z")
> [@Foybal](#):
>
> (SO=significant other)
> Mine:
> non-smoker
> non-pet owner
> non-religious
> no drugs or heavy alcohol consumption
> no need to gamble a lot or often
>
> Has to accept in me: eating meat, not fond of hanging out in bars, clubs, pool halls, etc. Not enchanted by long walks on the beach.
You pass - will you marry me?
_Hopes like hell Foybal is a girl…_
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### Author:  [@Leibowitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leibowitz)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/15 "2006-03-22T03:09:04Z")
No smoking, little or no drinking, no religon, good with the recycling. I think no kids, but I may just be being weird. And a job I respect.
But there’s a shitload of stuff he’d have to put up with in me (no drinking, no god, a cat, a kid, a 60 hour a week job I love, etc.)
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### Author:  [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/16 "2006-03-22T03:18:25Z")
High geek / dork factor, good sense of humour, kindness and patience and gentleness. A nice smile. Good health, good hygiene, doesn’t creep me out–makes me feel safe being myself.
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### Author:  [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/17 "2006-03-22T03:50:31Z")
Outside of alcohol or maybe a little pot:
No drug users.
Has and can hold a job. (I don’t care what your job is. Just have one.)
Is responsible. (pays bill on time, takes care of her children, etc…)
Takes care of herself physically.
And thanks to my ex-wife:
Absolutely CAN NOT BE THE JELEOUS TYPE!!
So… Uh… Any of you female dopers pass my test feel free to drop me a line…
:dubious: \<— idicates my sexy James Bond look. (not dubious)
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### Author:  [@Phantom\_Dennis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phantom_Dennis)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/18 "2006-03-22T03:59:42Z")
I used to make very specific mental lists involving every detail down to favorite movies, books, and music. I’ve since learned that such lists are likely to exclude a lot of fantastic people. Now I just look for a general personality traits:
She’s around my age
She’s smart and reasonably well-read
She’s got some kind of creative/artistic streak
She’s caring, friendly, humble, and laid-back
She has a good sense of humor and can laugh at herself
She likes me for my personality, not my wallet
She’s open-minded, tolerant, and not overly religious
If I find her, and she likes me as much as like her, then I couldn’t care less whether she likes _Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind_, eats spaghetti, or prefers cats over dogs. Hell, I’d even put up with a smoker. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Whifton\_Polekitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whifton_Polekitty)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/19 "2006-03-22T05:51:42Z")
Female, with pulse. Willing to put up with me. That’s about it for requirements.
Now, the wish list is totally different (and moot; I got Mrs Polekitty and she’s just about right for me).
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### Author:  [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2006, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-a-so/349356/20 "2006-03-22T11:22:50Z")
Female
Stubborn
Caring
Intelligent
Nice legs (…what can I say)
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