# What are your litmus tests for screening or ending dates? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 28, 2009, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267 "2009-06-28T17:47:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/21 "2009-06-29T19:47:15Z")
> [@malkavia](#): > > Anyone who eyerolls when my cell phone goes off… I think yapping on your cellphone during a date is a pretty big turnoff. Especially if you have a stupid ring-tone. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/22 "2009-06-29T19:53:34Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I think yapping on your cellphone during a date is a pretty big turnoff. Especially if you have a stupid ring-tone. That’s bad. Having a long conversation is worse. Getting up to answer the phone during sex is the worst. But if she has someone’s life in her care, such as a child or sick relative, that’s something you just have to put up with. ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/23 "2009-06-29T19:54:52Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I think yapping on your cellphone during a date is a pretty big turnoff. Especially if you have a stupid ring-tone. I agree that yapping on your cell phone during a date is uncalled for, but I use my cell phone for a variety of reasons. I get texts from my son, which are important to me and I also get texts from _everyone and everything_ which are less important, but if I’m out somewhere I’ll put my phone on vibrate which means I can’t tell if it’s my kid telling me he’s not feeling well, my sister telling me that the new 3oh3 video is awesome or CNN telling me that yet another celebrity has bought the farm. Mind you, this doesn’t mean I ANSWER every text, but I do look at them. And I will ALWAYS look at them. There’s no sense in luring some poor anti-texting guy in when it’s not a behavior that I’m willing to change. Now taking a call from my roommate to discuss her crappy day at work for 5-10 minutes is uncalled for during a date and not something I would do. But checking my cell phone once every 45 mins or so? Gonna happen. ---
**Author:** ![straggler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@straggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straggler)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/24 "2009-06-29T20:17:58Z")
(I’m a hetero guy) **Turn offs:** Really short hair. Lots of male friends. Wears extremely revealing/provocative clothing. Unable to have a philosophical discussion. Excessive profanities. Smoker. Talks a lot about exes. Yeah, looks like I’m pretty traditional… ---
**Author:** ![straggler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@straggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straggler)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/25 "2009-06-29T20:20:25Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > I’m not much of a dater, but, like Elaine Benes, finding out a guy is pro-life shuts any possible romantic feelings right down. Shame, too, since I’d love to see how their positions change with a pregnancy scare… And if you found yourself in this situation with a guy who would be enormously inconvenienced by an unplanned child, but he stuck _ **unwaveringly** _ to his conviction that you should still have the child, would your thoughts or feelings about the “other side” change at all? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/26 "2009-06-29T20:35:48Z")
> [@malkavia](#): > > Now taking a call from my roommate to discuss her crappy day at work for 5-10 minutes is uncalled for during a date and not something I would do. But checking my cell phone once every 45 mins or so? Gonna happen. There’s a pretty huge gap between those two things. The latter is acceptable especially if you have kids. It reminds me of another one. It’s not a dealbreaker, but in the past I’ve let it be known that it was unacceptable. It’s when I’m on the phone with a woman and she’s carrying on a conversation with her roommate at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/27 "2009-06-29T20:50:39Z")
> [@straggler](#): > > And if you found yourself in this situation with a guy who would be enormously inconvenienced by an unplanned child, but he stuck _ **unwaveringly** _ to his conviction that you should still have the child, would your thoughts or feelings about the “other side” change at all? I’m not going to hijack this discussion, but if some pro-life guy still thought it would be a good idea to have a kid with someone he’d just slept with upon finding out she/I was pregnant, would I suddenly respect his point of view? Nah. I can’t imagine anyone who thinks he knows what’s best for women and their bodies would be a particularly good or attentive lover, anyway. So it’s win-win! I am also not a fan of long cell phone conversations – and texting – though I fear they are going to become more acceptable with each generation. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/28 "2009-06-29T20:52:52Z")
> [@malkavia](#): > > I get texts from my son, which are important to me and I also get texts from _everyone and everything_ which are less important, but if I’m out somewhere I’ll put my phone on vibrate which means I can’t tell if it’s my kid telling me he’s not feeling well, my sister telling me that the new 3oh3 video is awesome or CNN telling me that yet another celebrity has bought the farm. > > Mind you, this doesn’t mean I ANSWER every text, but I do look at them. And I will ALWAYS look at them. There’s no sense in luring some poor anti-texting guy in when it’s not a behavior that I’m willing to change. There is nothing about you checking your Blackberry every two minutes that sweatens the deal for a potential suitor. I’m not anti-texting, but it’s like can this person put that damn thing down for an hour and focus on the date? Do I really want to be with someone who can be called away on a moments notice by whoever is on the other end of that phone (boss/kid/whoever)? ---
**Author:** ![straggler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@straggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straggler)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/29 "2009-06-29T21:09:43Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > I can’t imagine anyone who thinks he knows what’s best for women and their bodies would be a particularly good or attentive lover, anyway. Translation: “I can’t imagine a _guy who is a pro-lifer_ would be a particularly good or attentive lover, anyway”. Wow! How ignorant, but it’s people like you that re-affirm my pro-life leanings, rather than challenge me to question them. So thanks :). Sorry for the hijack. Back to the discussion. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/30 "2009-06-29T23:16:41Z")
Cell phones, I will not tolerate that. If you’re a doctor and on call, I understand. If you’re President Obama, OK but I used to work with some major CEO in NYC. When I would meet with them they would TURN OFF their cell phone. Newsflash if these IMPORTANT men can turn off their cell phone so can you. If these guys who make not seven but eight figures, can not be distracted for an hour SO CAN YOU. These are type of people who if they leave the company the stock drops. If they can disengage their cells so can you A cell phone is nothing but a license to be rude. I always say look carefully at your first date, 'cause that’s when people try hardest to impress you. It only goes downhill from then on ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/31 "2009-06-29T23:41:12Z")
Once again with cell phones it really depends on frequency. I was dating someone with kids, and a lot of times they’d call to get picked up or to ask for something for dinner. If I denied her an opportunity to take care of the things she needed to take care of, it would be me who would be the jerk. But she didn’t talk on her cell in front of me until our third date, and that was to wish her father a happy birthday. Since she was spending the day with me instead of him, I could hardly begrudge her the chance to call him. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/32 "2009-06-29T23:56:13Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > …I used to work with some major CEO in NYC. When I would meet with them they would TURN OFF their cell phone. Newsflash if these IMPORTANT men can turn off their cell phone so can you. If these guys who make not seven but eight figures, can not be distracted for an hour SO CAN YOU. These are type of people who if they leave the company the stock drops. If they can disengage their cells so can you Well…I can until they start complaining about why the hell they can’t get ahold of me.😉 ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/33 "2009-06-30T00:04:12Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Every call she gets from her family has a caller ID from a maximum security prison. I get phone calls from [here](http://www.dmh.ca.gov/Services_and_Programs/State_Hospitals/Coalinga/default.asp) all the time. She says she works there 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ashman165](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@ashman165](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ashman165)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/34 "2009-06-30T00:15:04Z")
> [@malkavia](#): > > Anyone who eyerolls when my cell phone goes off, is anti-abortion, is ferverently religious or insists on mentioning the brand of his clothes or his income is most likely just not compatible with me. > Dating, blech. It’s curious that you find being rude to your date acceptable, but that being rude to wait staff isn’t. Were I on a date with you (unlikely since you feel like a chick, and I’m a gay guy), your ass would be sitting alone with your cellphone. I have children. They may call when they want. If I don’t answer, they’ll have the number to the restaurant so they can call and get me immediately if it’s important. Otherwise, my cellphone goes on silent when I go inside somewhere it might annoy other people. As I tell people, I have a mobile for _my_ convenience, not for everyone else’s. Clearly, you have a cell phone for everyone else’s _in_convenience. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/35 "2009-06-30T02:30:51Z")
Gay guys who- -Consider themselves bisexual even though they’ve never been attracted to or had sex with a female -Are out to everyone but their family, co-workers, neighbors, and best friends OR the other extreme- -Would pay extra to buy gay table salt and gay trash bags if they were available (and refer to other gays as ‘family’) -Have a favorite football team or a favorite Spice Girl -Carry _and show_ pictures of their cats -Don’t know any showtunes but can talk for so long about Belle & Sebastian or John Mayer that you’d almost think someone asked their opinion ---
**Author:** ![RedRosesForMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/91b2a8/32.png) [@RedRosesForMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedRosesForMe)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/36 "2009-06-30T03:24:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Really short hair. > Lots of male friends. > \ > Smoker. > [@](#): > > Extensively tattooed or pierced My hair is approaching shoulder-length, but once every couple of years I’ll do a pixie or boy cut because it’s absolutely gross to have thick curly hair when you live in Florida. My comfort is more important to me than your attractiveness requirements. And I have 13 tattoos, none of which are visible when I wear a T-shirt and jeans, so I don’t know if that counts as extensive. Ah well I don’t feel so bad about my immediate deal-breaker, then, either. Long hair on guys. Nope, sorry, a little shagginess can be ok on the right guy, but longer than chin length and I’ll be looking for the door. Also, lots of male friends? I get along well with guys because they’re less catty and annoying than most girls my age. I only get along with girls who also don’t like other girls, and that limits my potential female friends. I don’t really see what the red flag would be here, unless you’re concerned they’re secretly sleeping with them or something. ---
**Author:** ![straggler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@straggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straggler)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/37 "2009-06-30T03:54:15Z")
> [@RedRosesForMe](#): > > My hair is approaching shoulder-length, but once every couple of years I’ll do a pixie or boy cut because it’s absolutely gross to have thick curly hair when you live in Florida. My comfort is more important to me than your attractiveness requirements. And I have 13 tattoos, none of which are visible when I wear a T-shirt and jeans, so I don’t know if that counts as extensive. > > Ah well I don’t feel so bad about my immediate deal-breaker, then, either. Long hair on guys. Nope, sorry, a little shagginess can be ok on the right guy, but longer than chin length and I’ll be looking for the door. > > Also, lots of male friends? I get along well with guys because they’re less catty and annoying than most girls my age. I only get along with girls who also don’t like other girls, and that limits my potential female friends. I don’t really see what the red flag would be here, unless you’re concerned they’re secretly sleeping with them or something. Are you really that upset that I wouldn’t consider you as a potential suitor, are you? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/38 "2009-06-30T03:58:57Z")
> [@RedRosesForMe](#): > > Also, lots of male friends? I get along well with guys because they’re less catty and annoying than most girls my age. I only get along with girls who also don’t like other girls, and that limits my potential female friends. I don’t really see what the red flag would be here, unless you’re concerned they’re secretly sleeping with them or something. Woman here; I have a lot of male friends in addition to a good amount of female friends. A common and not always incorrect interpretation of “women are too catty so I have mostly male friends” is “I can’t stand competition from other women for men’s attention” and “my male friends are my backup boyfriends.” So don’t be surprised if you find men don’t like hearing this; they might have been burned before. (And yes, I’ve seen that behavior among women I know.) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/39 "2009-06-30T05:16:43Z")
Jimbo and I both have cellphones, and somehow we manage to have days and days and days where our time together is not interrupted by either of them. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![RedRosesForMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/91b2a8/32.png) [@RedRosesForMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedRosesForMe)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267/40 "2009-06-30T05:49:58Z")
**Ferret Herder** , I don’t doubt that’s how some women operate, but my male friends are like brothers to me and there’s the accompanying squickiness of pseudo-incest that comes along with thinking of them romantically. I’m just not a particularly girly girl, so sometimes I have trouble relating to women unless they are the same way. And **straggler** I was just laughing that I’d hit so many of your criteria for non-datability. And, like I said, it made me feel better that I can’t stand long hair on guys since you mentioned really short hair. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-litmus-tests-for-screening-or-ending-dates/501267.md?page=3)