# What are your pet nicknames for various products/businesses? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 27, 2008, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935 "2008-03-27T17:02:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/21 "2008-03-28T01:23:20Z")
[QUOTE=BobLibDem] Queerios for Cheerios Cocoa Shitties for Cocoa Crispies Alpha Shits for Alpha Bits Yucky Farts for Lucky Charms Cocoa Poops for Cocoa Puffs Faggotos for Spaghettios Penis Butter for Peanut Butter [/QUOTE] I’m glad I don’t shop at your grocery store! ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/22 "2008-03-28T02:21:43Z")
Home Despot Best Buy I refer to as “Worst Buy” My motto for CompUSA, when they were still around, was “Why pay less?” ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/23 "2008-03-28T02:25:57Z")
[QUOTE=Leaffan] Strangely enough, none. Not sure why, but these are businesses that you are free to visit or not. Believe me, they would not be in business if they deserved a degrading moniker. You think you sound savvy calling Pizza Hut, Pizza Slut? [/QUOTE] My use of degrading names has nothing to do with whether I like or dislike the business. I call it Pizza Slut, and I like their pizza! (This is not to say that I like every business for which I have a nickname, however.) WalMart = Mall Wart Shop-n-Save = Slop-n-Slave Rite Aid = Wrong Aid And in homage to the dialect of my home state… Michael’s = Mackles ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/24 "2008-03-28T02:32:05Z")
Party on Garth. 😉 LOL 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Charger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df788c/32.png) [@Charger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charger)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/25 "2008-03-28T02:43:46Z")
Best Buy = Greatest Purchase. It’s more formal that way. Menards = Either “My Nards” or just “Nards.” K-Mart = K-muh-part Golden Corral = Golden Showers. I got that from a friend who decided to stop calling that for the inevitable slip-up in front of the wrong audience. [QUOTE=MikeG] Sheets N’ Shit for Linens N’ Things [/QUOTE] I am totally stealing that! ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/26 "2008-03-28T02:49:48Z")
Linen and Thugs Pantera Bread K. Roger or Ghetto Kroger, depending on location ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/27 "2008-03-28T03:33:37Z")
Bob Evans was known as “the Bob” around our house. A fond nickname. We ate there so much that the last name seemed too formal. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/28 "2008-03-28T03:39:09Z")
My hometown newspaper, of which I was the editor for a time in the 1990s, is the Journal-Advocate. It’s long been called the Urinal-Aggravate. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/29 "2008-03-28T03:48:58Z")
History Channel is Hitler Channel Luftansha is Luftwaffe The Atlanta Constitution is the Constipation ==forgot== The much-missed People’s drug stores were always pronounced “Peee Opp Po leaze” in my house as a kid. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/30 "2008-03-28T03:51:58Z")
[QUOTE=Hockey Monkey] Taco Bell = Taco Hell Pizza Hut = Pizza Slut Waffle House = Awful Ho (the one on Hillsborough St had some letters burned out a la _AFFLE HO_ \_ \_) Wal Mart = Wally World Target = Tarjzay Raleigh News and Observer = the News and Disturber Chik-Fil-A = Chick I’m sure there are more, but the brain refuses to rotate them to the top of the pile. [/QUOTE] What she said. I was involved in a drunken brawl at that Waffle House. Fun times. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/31 "2008-03-28T04:28:07Z")
Tarzhay Taco Hell Stop and Plop Trader Schmoo’s Pizza Smut the Thai restaurant in the old IHOP building is Thai-Hop Starbucks is Evil Empire Coffee And every feed and seed is “Sneed’s, formerly Chuck’s” ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/32 "2008-03-28T06:23:36Z")
Pak & Save = Sack & Pave The all-night hamburger stand (Kwik-way?) is the Scarf ‘n’ Barf I used to call ALL grocery stores the “Park & Shop & Pik & Pak & Pay & Save” Oh yes, and Grocery Outlet is Gross Out! (affectionately) ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/33 "2008-03-28T07:35:54Z")
[QUOTE=dwc1970] Gayco car insurance- same reason, plus their incessant advertising on TV. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=BobLibDem] Queerios for Cheerios Faggotos for Spaghettios [/QUOTE] Do these bother anyone else or am I just being overly sensitive? Gay and queer are not okay to use in a derogatory manner, and faggot is over the line. I don’t really have any nicknames that are derogatory. I occasionally say La Boutique Targét or Linens ‘N’ Whatnot, and for the combo drive-through restaurants I often use names like The Kentucky Fried Taco Hut or Pizza Bell, but that’s just to distinguish them from a standalone KFC or Taco Bell. I’ve worked at more than one of the businesses mentioned in this thread (and I still work at one), and none of us ever called it any of these names. I daresay we’d have more reason to hate the places than the customers. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/34 "2008-03-28T07:36:28Z")
One local place, a little hole in the wall independent record store called Sweet Hickory, I call “The Claws.” OK, so, like, Sweet Hickory = hicks, so like, hicks equals Deliverance, ass-rape, equals rapiers, so, fencing, and fencing equals _fences_ so like, Tom Sawyer, so, Mark Twain, so Mark = Marksmanship, which equals a ship, and Mark is also like, Mark Pi’s restaurant (a local Chinese Restaurant), so like, a Chinese Ship, equals a Junk, so junk equals trash, and they had a “trash holiday,” in other words, the trash collection was a day late because the sanitation department had a day off, so holiday, Christmas, Santa Claus = claws. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/35 "2008-03-28T07:39:18Z")
Red Lobster -\> Dead Lobster Internet Explorer \> Internet Exploder. (I can laugh since I never have to use it.) Northwest Airlines -\> Northworst. But not Southwest. In the old days Alleghany Air was called Agony air by my poor friends from PA who had to use it. Even streets can get renamed. When I was growing up in Queens the LIE was called the Long Island Distressway, and I call Automall Parkway near me Autostall Parkway. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/36 "2008-03-28T07:48:48Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] One local place, a little hole in the wall independent record store called Sweet Hickory, I call “The Claws.” OK, so, like, Sweet Hickory = hicks, so like, hicks equals Deliverance, ass-rape, equals rapiers, so, fencing, and fencing equals _fences_ so like, Tom Sawyer, so, Mark Twain, so Mark = Marksmanship, which equals a ship, and Mark is also like, Mark Pi’s restaurant (a local Chinese Restaurant), so like, a Chinese Ship, equals a Junk, so junk equals trash, and they had a “trash holiday,” in other words, the trash collection was a day late because the sanitation department had a day off, so holiday, Christmas, Santa Claus = claws. [/QUOTE] That’s like, um, fifteen degrees of separation or summat innit? I admire your energy and creativity and all of that, I think. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/37 "2008-03-28T08:04:43Z")
Geek Squad = Weak Squad Norton Internet Security = Norton Infection Little Ceasars Pizza = Little Seizures Our favorite local Thai restaraunt = Flaming death My old ambulance company Med\*Stat = Mud Splat Another ambulance company in a neighboring county Riggs Ambulance = Piggs Ambulance. (The great thing was the lettering was done in lines 2" wide, so a quick 5" strip of 2" wide cloth medical tape could turn Riggs into Piggs on all sides in like 15 seconds. American Ambulance for a while after a series of accidents involving their ambulances (IIRC 4 in 2 weeks) was prounonced “Screeeeech …crunch” and American crews with undamaged ambulances were regularly asked how many days ago the company bought it. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/38 "2008-03-28T08:32:50Z")
[QUOTE=Valgard] Best Buy I refer to as “Worst Buy” [/QUOTE] > [@Charger](#): > > Best Buy = Greatest Purchase. It’s more formal that way. I’m sorry you are both wrong. The correct name as coined by my son is **Adequate Purchase** as in it wasn’t a best buy, but is was an adequate purchase. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/39 "2008-03-28T08:40:30Z")
Since “ci” can only be written with the _shi_ character in Japanese, **Citibank** pretty much nicknames itself among the gaijin community. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935/40 "2008-03-28T11:17:34Z")
Slightly off-track, but my husband and I once drove past a small diner that was advertising ‘eggs and bacon on toats’. From then on, we have had toats for breakfast. My husband also insists on referring to Hugh Jackman as Huge Ass Man. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-pet-nicknames-for-various-products-businesses/442935.md?page=3)