# What are your qualifications? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 7, 2016, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113 "2016-12-07T15:34:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SUZ\_MAC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e8cbc/32.png) [@SUZ\_MAC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SUZ_MAC)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/1 "2016-12-07T15:34:32Z")
Calling all clever people. Ben Carson was selected for Secretary of Housing and Urban Development based on the qualification that he grew up in government housing. In light of this, tell me which position you are qualified for, and what are your qualifications? I am qualified to run the department of commerce because I have a credit card. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/2 "2016-12-07T15:39:12Z")
Secretary of Defense. I had the classic green plastic army men when I was a kid. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/3 "2016-12-07T15:40:05Z")
I play a lot of Heroes of the Storm, so I should be put in charge of [the NHC](http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/). ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/4 "2016-12-07T15:41:21Z")
Secretary of Education. I went to school for years. ---
**Author:** ![Svejk\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/5 "2016-12-07T15:42:52Z")
All I have is a PhD. I can’t do anything :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/6 "2016-12-07T15:43:36Z")
Housing and Urban Development? Yes I grew up in a house. Several, in fact. So I ought to be able to run HUD. I’ve also flown in planes. a shitload of 'em. Some of the biggest, and some of the smallest. Surely that qualifies me to run the FAA. It’s not too hard to make a list. I’ve watched tens of thousands of hours of TV, so put me in charge of the FCC. And so on. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/7 "2016-12-07T15:45:37Z")
Director of the Centers for Disease Control. I’ve played dozens of sessions of [Pandemic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pandemic_%28board_game%29) (a board game about fighting outbreaks of infectious diseases). ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/8 "2016-12-07T15:56:46Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Director of the Centers for Disease Control. I’ve played dozens of sessions of [Pandemic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pandemic_%28board_game%29) (a board game about fighting outbreaks of infectious diseases). You’re going to have to fight me for the post. You see I’ve contracted diseases on dozens of occasions. We’re talking everything from the common cold to athlete’s foot. But here’s the thing - I got better every. Single. Time. Now if that doesn’t qualify someone for the position I don’t know what does. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/9 "2016-12-07T16:14:10Z")
I’ll take Foreign Secretary - I’m a foreigner. ---
**Author:** ![Zyanthia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Zyanthia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyanthia)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/10 "2016-12-07T16:15:55Z")
I took a walk in the park, can I be secretary of the interior? ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/11 "2016-12-07T16:16:55Z")
I’ve driven many ancient, polluting cars. I’d like to run the EPA, please. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/12 "2016-12-07T16:24:33Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Secretary of Defense. I had the classic green plastic army men when I was a kid. I’m more qualified than you. I played a lot of _Axis and Allies_ when I was a kid. I worked in disaster response for the American Red Cross for three years, and I was a volunteer firefighter for a while. So, I’m aiming for head of FEMA. I might not make that one since I’ve never run a show horse association. But I could be in the running. I’m a computer security guy, so maybe being the head of the NSA is in my future. I’m married to a doctor, so maybe Surgeon General? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/13 "2016-12-07T16:24:42Z")
> [@scabpicker](#): > > I’ve driven many ancient, polluting cars. I’d like to run the EPA, please. If the only qualification is spewing clouds of noxious gasses into the air, then Mel Brooks qualifies. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/14 "2016-12-07T16:32:08Z")
Secretary of Veterans Affairs: I’m a veteran, and – if it’ll help me to cheerfully serve my country this January – I can have an affair, like, _tonight_. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/15 "2016-12-07T16:40:07Z")
But wait, … I’m sure I read yesterday that it’s come to light that he did NOT in fact, live in public housing! So…lying seems to be the common requirement to me. (Not that I’m calling y’all liars, don’t misunderstand me!) ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/16 "2016-12-07T16:41:57Z")
I take my morning meds on time every day and—get this—I have had not one but _two_ CT scans in my life. I’m more than qualified to be Secretary of Health and Human Services. ---
**Author:** ![SUZ\_MAC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e8cbc/32.png) [@SUZ\_MAC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SUZ_MAC)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/17 "2016-12-07T16:47:33Z")
Great posts dopers. I knew I could count on you all ! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/18 "2016-12-07T16:48:25Z")
I dated a girl named Sue, so Attorney General for me. I also stay at home a lot, so Secretary of the Interior could be another option. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/19 "2016-12-07T16:52:44Z")
I was an administrative assistant in college and I have lived in several widely scattered places. Put me down for Secretary of State(s). ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/20 "2016-12-07T16:56:54Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > I’ll take Foreign Secretary - I’m a foreigner. 🙂 Funny. It’d be more funny if Trump did nominate someone (send him a tweet, it could you!) for Foreign Secretary, since the US doesn’t have that office. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113.md?page=2)